My new love interest - Part 2

Now, I have a "Part 3" to add, so I am behind on blogging! To finish my thoughts on RC's visit to see me...After we scattered the ashes, we came back to my house and rested then had a really nice dinner - I had sautéed scallops, yum! -  and came back to relax, share some massage and watch television.

I'm so glad he stayed the extra day because our conversation and connection deepened through the activities of the last day in which we had brunch and drove around to different places where his parents had lived back in the day. I enjoyed the car ride, listening to music and having meaningful conversation about past relationship patterns. I shared about how I can become anxious at times and generously share this anxiety lol by becoming critical or almost picking a fight. He shared more about his first wife who had a pattern of always having some kind of physical ailment that required him to act as a caregiver.

The last night, we slept in the same bed, which was nice. I feel physically comfortable with him and very much enjoy cuddling with him, which my ex, S, and I were never able to do well for various reasons. It's like I'm rediscovering physical closeness and cuddling; I missed it!

The next day, I had to get ready for work but had coffee with him and shared sweet little conversations throughout the morning. As a side note, he really likes Zoey and Zoey loves him, which makes our time easier and more comfortable, as well.

From when he left until before Thanksgiving, we shared several texts throughout the day filled with lovey dovey language and expressions of romance and care. He has consistently written a long, thoughtful text in the morning and in the evening, before bed. I love receiving these! And appreciate his way with words and openness in expressing his feelings. Our texts also end with lots of emoji hearts and kisses - it's that mushy stuff that's annoying unless you're the one doing it. lol 

We also had several authentic conversations, helping to know each other more deeply. I shared that I wanted his full attention at times when I am sharing something meaningful, versus how sometimes he multi-tasks, talking with me and cooking or doing dishes, etc., and that I like questions to help me express myself more fully. When we have had tension come up a couple times or one of us feels a little triggered, we have been able to share vulnerably and talk through it. So important and welcome to me!

I'll end Part 2 there, and return later for Part 3...

My new love interest - Part 1

As you can probably tell by the title, my time with the old friend went even better than imagined.  After a bit of a bumpy start when he first arrived, brought his stuff in, and got settled, we progressed into feeling quite comfortable with one another.

The first afternoon/evening, we got something to eat, then I left him to relax as I headed off to my chalice circle group. When I returned, we chatted and caught up then headed to bed. He brought a queen-sized air mattress which we installed in the nursery after moving the changing table to my room to make space. I came in and cuddled some with him in the morning - initially felt a little funny as we had been friends for years when I lived on the central coast but then it was really nice.

Saturday we made some breakfast then walked downtown to explore. It was Veterans Day so we ended up catching the parade from a window table at a corner restaurant, while we grabbed a snack and a drink. I got to see a side of him that is respectfully patriotic and appreciative of our veterans, which I found attractive. He spent several years in the navy so has some experience with the military. We came home and rested for a while.

Somewhere around this time, we talked about it and he decided to stay another day and drive home Monday. Also somewhere around this time we made love. I told him beforehand that if we do become intimate, he can't move to Austin and forget about me! To explain, he has three sons and several young grandkids who live in Austin and, before we reconnected, he was basically planning to move down there and live on the property of one of his sons. But interestingly he found out while he was here that the zoning did not come through as they'd hoped, so there is an indefinite delay...

When we were talking about him coming up to visit, he shared that his parents actually lived in Petaluma for the latter part of their lives. His father passed, then his mother, and since they loved it here, he wanted to spread their ashes in this area (along with his older sister who had passed away a few years ago, as well). He said he would like to have me with him, and I agreed. So on later on Saturday, we drove out to scatter the ashes at a local nature area. Well, not all the ashes because he had scattered some at another location. Anyway, it was a little weird, but also a meaningful experience to share.

To be continued...

Veteran's Day Weekend 2017

Start of the three-day weekend. Sending gratitude to all the veterans out there.

I had a positive week, but today I had conversations with my department head and coworkers that kind of stressed me out. Now my neighbors are playing music and talking loudly...it's only 9:30pm, and I know it's their prerogative, but I sure wish the walls were more insulated!

Anyway, earlier my department head said that I will be getting the same assignment for spring, so that's good, but she said after that the college counseling department will not be providing counselors to my program. I had heard rumblings of this before and my program director said that counselors are necessary to run the program and they would find a way to pay for them. But what does that mean exactly? I started thinking more about possibilities and questions came up: Would we be paid at the same rate? Will the employment criteria be the same (i.e. if the high school district pays, would we need a high school counseling credential)?

I know a lot can happen in six months, but I appreciated my job in this program as the solid ground I could depend upon. If college counseling and teaching hours opened up at my campus or the other campus 20 minutes north, I might decide I prefer to work those hours and let go of the extra stress and complexity of dealing with a high school program. On the other hand, I have come to deeply care about my students and feel close to my colleagues. So I do enjoy it much more than when I started in February. I need to keep calm and find out more information before I jump to the alarmed phase. I will talk to my director when she returns from vacation next week.

My friend is coming tomorrow afternoon and I'm both excited and curious to see how I will feel spending time with him. The house is cleaned, and Zoey has had a bath. I look forward to walking around downtown, going out for meals, and helping him spread his parents ashes - that will be meaningful. I hope we get nice weather for that activity on Saturday. Even more so, I hope the winds of passion fuel a fire between us. lol