1/15/2023

New Community

We moved at the end of November! and are still settling in and unpacking a bit, but at least things are functional. We bought a huge new couch that dominates the living room. 😂 It’s very comfortable, though, and we are enjoying it, as well as the third bedroom and nicer, more open, floor plan. I’ve started taking walks along the river with Ellie, and becoming more familiar with our new surroundings. I only miss the old neighborhood once in a while, when I think of all the memories walking with Ellie and the beautiful homes and landscapes. It’s a different beauty along the river. 

Holidays were okay but a lot to deal with so quickly after our move. We managed to buy and decorate a little tree, and I made a few handmade painted popsicle stick picture frames with Ellie and gave them out to a few of our new neighbors with cute pics of Ellie in them. I was proud of myself for completing that project, as it had several artsy/crafty steps to it! 

Ellie in her new Wizard costume on Christmas.

Ellie on one of our rainy river walks.

Christmas Eve at my brothers house was fun, but RC had to work, so he didn’t get to come. Yummy food and unusually nice conversation with family. My sister’s house the next morning was okay until the point where all the adult women except me received jewelry from my father. It’s happened in years past, too, and feels like such and obvious, purposeful exclusion. I told RC that I’m not going to sit through that again, as it really hurts my feelings and triggers old feelings of not being good enough. If/when it happens, I’ll get up and make myself busy in another room. Living in community with lots of conscious, generally open-hearted people really creates a contrast with the culture in my family gatherings. 

We are still adjusting and building family and community routines in our new place, but it’s been great to eat community meals together a couple of times a week and have people step forward who enjoy playing with Ellie during gatherings -  and who have even provided childcare a few times while I attended a more adult check-in group. I love seeing how comfortable Ellie feels with our neighbors, and she runs around talking to people and insists on saying goodbye to everyone individually- so cute! 🥰 Definitely a big part of my vision coming true. 

I’ve had my social insecurity come up at times, but not too bad, and I’m feeling gradually more secure, especially as we have a couple deeper focused groups starting up, like the check-in group and a new Brene Brown Art Journal group. I can tell RC is starting to feel more at home, as well, and I’m excited that a men’s group will be starting soon. He used to attend one in California and got a lot out of it. Oh, and a young couple in the community just had a new baby girl! An adorable future friend and playmate for Ellie, in addition to the 5-year-old girl who is also a neighbor. 

I haven’t had much bandwidth to write, but I wanted to share an update as a lot is happening and time is rolling by. I have an interview Tuesday, which I’ll share more about later, but I have mixed feeling about it; both excited and a little worried at taking focus off my business again (at least for now) and working more hours. Our family could really benefit from a higher, and more consistent, income though, and I think I’d enjoy it. I’m thinking maybe I could still see clients on the side and come back to the business down the road, too. We will see.