Conundrum

Drive-by post to share about my conundrum...sooo, the damn university has STILL not made final decisions/offers. I continue to feel optimistic because one of my references said they contacted her yesterday afternoon, and she shared good things about me. My phone call with the big wig a week ago yesterday went well: the conversation flowed, I asked questions that showed I had researched the job and reflected on the specifics, and my answer to the one interview-type question he asked at the end was strong, I think (maybe a B as it could have been a little longer and better articulated, but the content was solid).

The conundrum emerges from the reality that I have interviewed and been offered a half-time job at the community college, and they have been moving the ball forward in processing hiring paperwork and even starting a little training yesterday. The big wig had said he thought the hiring committee at the university would come back with decisions/offers last week, so I hoped Friday was safe to schedule a meeting with the community college. I could just cancel it and bow out if I was were offered the other position. Not a great feeling or something I would relish doing, but manageable and understandable, I think, considering the university pays twice as much and is a full-time job.

Now, I'm in this crap situation where I am heading full bore into more intensive training next week, starting at 9:30am Monday morning. The head Arts & Communication Department counselor, for whom, and with whom, I would be working, has already created my schedule based on my availability Monday through Wednesday and is clearly really glad I'm starting there. Argh, I feel super guilty and disingenuous.

I talked with my brother today, and he thinks I need to keep going forward with the community college until I hear from the university. He made a good point that it's not really disingenuous because I WILL work for the community college if the university offer doesn't come through. It still feels yucky, though, and, because I'm optimistic about the university position, I am afraid that I'm wasting time and energy going forward. What do you think? I'm so tempted to develop an illness before Monday morning.

I'll end with a brief positive update on Ellie from our doctor check-up yesterday. She's still doing great! Same heart rate at 140 - 150s, and the nurse measured my belly for the first time, saying it looks perfect. I'm also *finally* gaining a little bit of weight and am now eight pounds above where I started. The top part of my belly seems to be popping out a little more, and I'm feeling her move quite often. It's so awesome!!!