The Joys of Breastfeeding

There really is tremendous joy in breastfeeding. I couldn't imagine doing it very well before Ellie was born, but now that she's here, I'm proud and happy that I can feed her and share that physically connected time with her. I've learned that some women are not able to breastfeed, even when they really want to and try their hardest, so I don't take it for granted. Additionally, I know that formula nourishes a baby well, also.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but Ellie can really be the most adorable goofball, and this trait can show up during breastfeeding. Early on, she would do this little routine where she would be interacting with the breast as though it was it's own entity, and she was being sort of dramatic and pushing it around - like, you're my breast and I can do what I want kind of thing. lol She will now grab my shirt and pull back and forth roughly, like a 30's gangster or something, when she's frustrated with milk flow. She will also start grunting to express her frustration, which is my favorite sound she makes (no).

When she's hungry and super pleased with her breast and how it's flowing, she coos and makes happy sounds - I love it! Having her warm little body lying against me and little sucking feeling as she feeds is very sweet. I will breastfeed while watching TV in the afternoon for an extended session, while she does "non-nutritive," as labeled by the lactation consultant, sucking.

Along the way, I've also discovered the downsides to breast feeding, which include milk supply. As an older mother, I guess this is more commonly an issue. It took a while for my supply to come in at the beginning, and we supplemented with donor milk, but then the supply came in and looked good for a while, then recently has not quite met the need again. It's super frustrating. I never thought I would sit there squeezing the life out of my boobs and not have a care for how it feels to me, just praying they produce a little more milk.

This usually happens later in the day, and the lactation consultant told us it's fine to supplement a little with formula in the evening. I'd rather not until six months, so, as we are getting down to the last couple bottles of donor milk we bought initially, I'm considering buying more. If we incorporate formula, I hope to mix it with pumped milk in the evening.

The other downside that has kicked my butt off and on is clogged milk ducts. They are the worst. A big lump develops in your breast, like a rock, and you're supposed to massage it hard. Ouch! I've managed to work them out every time with hot showers, massage, and gravity feeds, but this last one required a needle.

WTF! you say. Let me explain... A couple of "blebs," as they call these little milk blisters, had formed on my right breast, and I developed a clogged duct. For the first time, I started feeling flu-like symptoms indicative of an inflammatory process. After reading about it on Google, of course, I called the lactation consultant who determined I did not have mastitis. She told me I had to sterilize a needle and puncture the blebs so milk could get through. Yeah, that's as fun as it sounds, though a little less painful than I'd feared. After trying a couple times, it worked, thank God. Such a relief.

I will say that I think it's all worth it for me, and I'm going to try and continue for at least another several months. Ellianna turned four months on February 10th! I will write about her four-month doctor's appointment coming up this Friday, as well as our Parenting Now group, in my next post.