I'm doing pretty well, following my mom's passing. I have cried several times, as I remember things she said or that we did together; gifts she gave me or just things she enjoyed. Life is not fair in that she was taken away from grandkids who loved her, especially the oldest, J, had a sweet connection with her and I'm so sad for that loss. I will be going up to Oregon again in a couple weeks for my mom's service on the 10th.
But life continues on here in California, and I have been able to work and teach and mostly continue with my activities. I had my second big client attraction (business coaching) program weekend last weekend and had some good insights around how my own blocks and perceptions around money and success are getting in the way of encouraging clients to make an investment in working with me. I realized that part of me still believed in a "Fairy Tale" that prince charming or someone would come and rescue me and lift me up into the life I was meant to be living. Or something like that. So, I am trying to shift my perspective to knowing that "I" am the Hero of my own story and "I" need to fiercely pursue my goals and dreams and basically save myself. It's a process.
Also, I have decided to not say that I will help my clients transition into well-paying work until I am a bit farther down that path myself. I AM completely confident in my ability to hold space for exploration, ask powerful questions and provide powerful assessments and tools for my clients to focus on their purpose and passions and to connect these with a unique, meaningful career path in the world. I can help with job search/resume stuff, of course, as well. But until I'm a step further down the road, I don't think I will include "transition to a well-pay career." I want to share all the business tools I'm learning in my program, but it's only been two months, so perhaps in a few months I can add some business/entrepreneurial focus as well - something I'm also interested in.
Next week is Spring break and I'm looking forward to some extra time to devote to my business and to figuring out my next steps with housing. I am thinking of looking for a temporary living situation that would allow me to save some money and give me time to look for a great situation that would support my adoption goals. Possibly living with a friend or in a small, inexpensive place, and putting most of my furniture in storage.
That's it for now... oh, also, not sure if I shared that SB and I are done? I might have shared that, but I feel okay about that. I really liked him but I've come to the conclusion I need to date someone who is and "F" or Feeling personality type so that we share a desire to go deep emotionally and with ideas. For SB, this was hard and uncomfortable.
"I am trying to shift my perspective to knowing that "I" am the Hero of my own story and "I" need to fiercely pursue my goals and dreams and basically save myself. " This is something I have struggled with in the past - is it the way we were raised, to think like that? It's life changing to embrace the reality of being the hero of your own story.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that things did not work out with SB. I really admire your deep understanding of yourself and what you are looking for in a relationship. It also takes a lot of guts to be an entrepreneur, so kudos to you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read about your mom - and so sorry that I'm so behind in my reading that I've only just learned about her passing. Sending you lots of healing love. xx
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