Valentine's Visit - Part2

 Sorry, that was more of a delay between posts than I intended… Things have been a little hectic, but overall I'm feeling good.

To finish sharing about RC's visit,  we had a wonderful Valentines dinner at the same place we went for my birthday. We were seated in the back room so it felt a little more intimate, and we both ordered surf and turf with steak and scallops. Amazing! I think we both ate nearly all of it.

Backing up a little, I had to work during Valentine's Day. When I got home, RC had red roses, a balloon saying I love you, chocolate and red wine waiting for me. All the traditional romantic stuff; very sweet. We spent a few hours before our late dinner – we made our reservation last minute, oops - enjoying our own private party at my place. We lit candles, played music and danced, and did some creative stuff like drawing animals on cards, then picking one and looking up its symbolism.

We also had some deeper conversation about tension that's come up a couple times during the transition into going to sleep. In part, it was because we have developed our own nightly rituals and they weren't fitting together well. He has insomnia and is currently smoking a little pot before bed to help. I don't have a problem with that except for that then we are on different wavelengths and he has diminished communication skills. I like to take my melatonin, then look at my phone for a while until I feel sleepy...but then he was waiting for me so that we could cuddle a little and kiss good night, which was just not working for either of us. Anyway we talked this out and came up with some good strategies, so that was positive. We had a fun time dressing up for dinner, too.

My procedure was rescheduled for the following Tuesday. He planned to leave Wednesday morning, so, after Valentine's Day, we had a few days through the weekend to spend together. Our activities included:

• Going to the DMV together to get some paperwork I needed. So nice to have a partner in these practical things. Grocery shopping was also fun, though it would be more fun if he wasn't so restricted on his diet! 
• Taking a walk around the lake at the sanctuary we visited before. I love this. It's so beautiful, and we end up having some really meaningful conversation while walking with Zoey. 
• Watching our show together at night. We have developed a ritual of watching a Netflix series together and texting comments during it when we are apart, so it was fun to watch and comment in person. 
• Enjoying a yummy brunch of blueberry pancakes (gluten-free for him), bacon, and fruit. He ends up doing more of the dinner cooking, in large part because he makes things he knows he can eat. I usually help out by making a salad or prepping the veggies or something, but he often does the majority. I love making breakfast and desserts, so I feel good to be able to cook for him in those ways. 
• Taking Zoey for her daily walks together, often late at night when she has free run of the park. It feels romantic holding hands and looking at the stars, although we have to pay attention to navigating her leash and uneven surfaces in the dark. I may not have mentioned but RC is not the most coordinated person…He has fallen several times over the years, so I feel like I need to look out for him sometimes in that way. 
• Envisioning our lives with a child and what decisions and activities may be part of the journey. 
• Drinking a little too much wine one night and laughing hysterically. I don't think the jokes would translate LOL but boy were they funny at the time.  
• Part of the reason we got so tipsy that evening was because we started in the afternoon with some winetasting. Winetasting is so fun! It was a sunny day, we were out on the patio, and we took the opportunity to review and revise the goal cards we initially created on New Year's. Then we walked around downtown and ended up making an appointment to get a collaboratively-designed tattoo over spring break. Eek
• The day before my procedure, we went to get some lunch, during which we also looked at an anxiety/phobia workbook (more on that later). I started feeling really crabby and unsettled for no real reason. We had talked before about how we are both introverts and need to set boundaries and take alone time, but had so far not managed to follow through. This day, after walking out to the car, I just blurted out, "I need some alone time!" He said he could walk home, but I said, "Well, that's about 15-20 minutes; I need an hour." So, he decided to walk around downtown, and I went home. You would not believe what a difference it made! Within a half hour, I was thinking of him and missing him a little, and when he got home, we shared an emotional embrace, feeling a lot of love and warmth towards one another. Interesting.

The last experience I want to share is getting the hysteroscopy done to remove my uterine polyp. The doctor was so awesome. He explained the details thoroughly and also added some humor, putting us at ease. I was really nervous the day before and when I woke up that morning, but taking the hydrocodone and anti-anxiety medication they gave me an hour before we went really helped. I thought the two fibroids would be removed also, but he explained that they were in the outer lining of the uterus and weren't causing any problems. Also, they can only be removed through more invasive laparoscopy. Best of all, the procedure was not painful, and he was obviously very skilled; it seems like it was done in no time.

RC drove me through the McDonald's drive-through on the way home as a reward, and I spent much of the day resting with him, but honestly I didn't feel too bad. I just took the pain medication on the schedule they suggested and didn't really feel much cramping at all. Here's to not having ongoing random bleeding!

p.s. We cheated and tried some "modified" sexual activity. It didn't seem to create any negative effects, and it was a connected way to end our trip. :)