I have been just trucking along the last week-and-a-half, doing my lovenox and lupron injections in the morning, and taking estrogen in both through patches (two patches, changed every other day) and pills (two a day).
Unfortunately, we don't have a window in to my uterus, so we have been hoping and praying that the lining is building up to the level they want at this point, which is a minimum of 8mm, though I understand they are okay with 7.5. I've been doing the Circle & Bloom meditations on most days, which include visualizing the uterus filled with light or circulating at the perfect temperature with the perfect amount of oxygen and blood flow, etc.
Yesterday was the lining check, through which we are finally able to learn whether all the effort has paid off. Drumroll, please.................the ultrasound showed that my lining was at.................a little over 8mm!!! Hallelujah! And there were no issues of concern like activity in the ovaries. We were given the official go-ahead to transfer on January 29th. We had already booked our airline tickets and hotel stay on faith, so, after scheduling a pet sitter yesterday, our trip to Sacramento is planned.
After going back and forth a little, further discussing the decision about one or two embryos, we are back to a clear choice on two. With all that we are putting into this effort - time, energy, drugs into my system, money, emotional involvement - we want to give it the best chance of success. We are open to twins, and we would love to come home with either one or two babies. We are afraid of the work and overwhelm - who wouldn't be? - but we are going into it with our eyes open.
I have a lot more to share about life, family, wedding planning, etc., but time seems shorter lately, and it's moving at a rapid pace. I will share that we are figuring out wedding details, despite the fact my dad unexpectedly and sadly refused to contribute anything. He said I'm too old, and he doesn't agree with decisions I've made; that I have no real accomplishments in my life. Great Dad, thanks, you're the best. What he said about me hurt a lot more than him choosing not to contribute.
I guess all my creative accomplishments in acting (completing a conservatory and perfoming in local theater in Seattle), dance (studying and performing in jazz and modern over many years, then learning swing dance and auditioning/performing with a swing dance team), in addition to my masters degree and many years working as an academic and career counselor in high schools and community colleges don't count for anything in your book? I wouldn't expect him to understand or validate all the counseling and self-development work I've done, but I do have measurable successes.
His viewpoint seems extremely limited and clouded by judgment about several financial mistakes I made in my 20s. He did catch me off guard mention receiving creditor calls, which on reflection, I believe were related to my wallet and identity being stolen in 2012, a fact I didn't discover and work to resolve until 2015. I will follow up about this. The strange thing is that RC and I have hung out with he and his partner several times, and I felt pretty good about our relationship since I've moved back.
Where I'm at now with it is that I love my Dad and will continue to love him, but I also need to take care of myself. I'm not buying into his judgments about me, as I might have in earlier years. RC and I will figure out more simple wedding plans. I hope at some point my Dad will change and see things differently, but I'm not counting on it. Onward and upward!
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