Last night we were talking about massage options. We were both looking forward to getting a massage yesterday afternoon and had done the research to find a place to go, but when we called, they said they were booked up until next Tuesday (we leave Monday). So last night, I was looking at an alternative place that was a bit more money, like $10 - $15 more per person, and he stated the amount that both massages would come to, as though it were prohibitive. I responded that it wasn't much more than the other place, but I also looked up less expensive massage in Oregon, which we could get as soon as we get back as sort of a compromise and mediation to the disappointment of not getting one here. But he basically went internal and ceased engaging or responding to the conversation. Argh!
So, I said I was cranky and was going to bed. This morning, I tried to talk to him about it, and I thought the conversation was going okay, but then he didn't respond to something, and I said, "Huh?!", and he said he did respond and accused me of snapping. It escalated from there and was just really stupid.
Ummm, I am pregnant, dude! I wish he could just remember that I am more sensitive right now and not at my best. I refuse to talk to him if he's going to be angry and just vent at me and criticize me. I offered to do a check-in with him (something we have done often to talk through more difficult or intense issues because it slows things down and requires you listen and reflect what your partner says), and he refused. So we are still at an impasse.
The ironic thing is that yesterday was one of our best and most fun/romantic days together. Every day has been fun, but yesterday, we took a long walk outdoors in Beacon Park, petted the goats, enjoyed the peacocks and the lovely views, then went to an English tea at a nearby Inn and Teahouse. Great and connected conversation and yummy sandwiches/scones/treats and tea. After my daily meditation and nap, we had a relaxed dinner at a nearby pub and were flirting and joking around on the way back. A fabulous day! Until the end. Ah well.
I feel sad and disappointed the day ended not so great, and we had the conflict this morning. I hope we can both calm down and re-connect soon, as we are booked on a bus trip to Butchart Gardens at 11:30am.
p.s. I'm 9 weeks pregnant today! My lower back ache/pain kicked in a couple days ago. Anyone else experience this, if you've been pregnant? I have to stop periodically and squat/stretch when we are out walking. Still having food aversions/limited food choices. Boobs have been quite sore, and I can see veins in chest now.
Despite signs, I still have worries and am definitely wanting more reassurance that Pudge is in there and moving around and growing like the pregnancy apps say he/she is. Our next ultrasound is scheduled for April 1st with Maternal/Fetal Medicine. Our Sneak Peak gender reveal blood test has arrived at our house in Oregon, so guess what will be the first thing I do when we get home? Yep, poke my finger and send that package in. It's supposed to come back within 72 hours.
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