Observations and Personal Developments in the Time of Pandemic

Helloooo from out here in social isolation! I have clearly not been posting much lately, but felt inspired to write at least a little something today. Baby is swinging nearby, babbling and squealing and grunting away so we’ll see how far I get. I wanted to share two things today, one observational and one more personal. The first one is that I’m seeing that this pandemic is hitting different groups and individuals in our society differently. Because I’m in online communities with folks from all over the country in different walks of life - granted most of them mothers - I hear a variety of these perspectives.

Obviously, basic survival needs are forefront in how people are affected at this time… If you suddenly can’t work or can work considerably less, and you depend on that paycheck month to month, the impact can get scary very quickly. If you have children suddenly home and demanding attention and that you put on a teaching hat, that can be intense and exhausting. On the other side of the spectrum, some people are reading, doing projects, or getting outside more. Spending more time with family.

Through it all, we are bombarded with media stories about sickness and death, sometimes even hit with personal tragedy and loss, related to this pandemic. It’s scary and sad and our frontline health workers are heroes through it all. If you’re in business or refinancing to find needed cash flow, bankers and finance folks can be heroes, too. My sister in law works in banking, and she has never worked so hard or been so exhausted as in these last few weeks of administering the PPP business loan program. My brother and sister are fighting to keep the family business afloat, which includes an athletic club. Anyway, I’m seeing impacts and new realities all across the spectrum, to a lesser and greater extent.

Us, personally? We are okay at the moment. Experiencing more stress and some financial hardship for sure, but doing okay. RC has his “essential” job at the airport. His schedule changes every day, which is a pain in the you know what, but we’re grateful he still has a job. I have some days where anxiety and exhaustion overwhelms me due to, well, lack of sleep, as well as change-related stress. So much changing and so many people to worry about! Ellie keeps me coming back to her sweet little face and all the ways she’s growing and changing - from sitting up, to eating new foods, to trying to figure out how everything works, and her love of books. I love waking up to her every day❤️ and breastfeeding and baby cuddles can be very soothing and nurturing. RC and I are working well as a team, and I’m so grateful for my little tribe at this time.

I have something else going on that is serving as a meaningful distraction...seeking a recipient family for our remaining embryos. We think we’ve found the perfect couple here in Eugene! We connected with them through the Mir@cles W@iting site. She is a social worker and he’s a chemist, 35 and 39 respectively, and she’s been through a lot of heartbreaking unsuccessful infertility treatments, including two failed IVFs. Our emails so far have been warm, open, and hopeful, and we look forward to an in-person video call with them on Tuesday. I’ll share more as the situation develops. We really want Ellie to have a sibling relationship and, since we aren’t planning to have another child, this could give her that gift, while it gives the gift of a child to this couple. Hoping for good things.

That’s it for now. Sending care and hope that your situation is tenable or improving. This is definitely a crazy and surreal time.