Another Fail and Regrouping

As I thought would happen, the spotting got heavier last night, and this morning became full flow.  I cried on the phone with S this morning and made him share his feelings, too, though he was trying to steer clear of them.

The way my period started with so much dark spotting etc. over an entire day was very strange.  I so wish I could know exactly what happened - i.e. conception occurred but implantation failed due to egg quality.  That's what I think happened, but I'd like to know.  The obligatory pregnancy test this morning was stark white.

I'm drinking coffee right now and plan to indulge in multiple glasses of wine at the fundraising dinner we are attending later.

As mentioned, S's birthday was yesterday.  "Happy Birthday to You - this cycle didn't work!" right?  But I did have fun buying him a couple of cool, new shirts and making a chocolate birthday cake.  We are going to celebrate later before the dinner.

This morning, I put a call into the fertility center and am awaiting their callback.  We plan to do an unmedicated IUI cycle, with a trigger shot, in consideration of my difficult cervix and to take advantage of the possible "fertility bump" after doing a medicated cycle.

Any thoughts on whether I should take progesterone the entire luteal phase?  Progesterone supplements do not like me much, and the feeling is mutual.  I'm also curious what my natural progesterone response is at this point.  I'm thinking to maybe wait a week after ovulation, then test the level and go from there...

Still Holding On

I should test, right?  I guess I'm not wanting to have my hopes crushed.

Recent signs:

• It is now likely 15dpo (going by my belief of when I ovulated), and I have never had a luteal phase this long.
• Off-and-on, light, lower abdominal cramping the last couple of days and today, but no spotting.
• Bbt temperature still up high yesterday and this morning; three days now at this level.
• More of an appetite.
• Increased creamy cm today.

The only way that FF's indication of when I ovulated (7 days later than what I believe) would possibly fit my cramping pattern is that I had the two days of Aunt Flo type cramps at the time of ovulation, which I have never had in the past.  Then, these cramps I'm having now would be timed to be implantation cramps... which would assume S's guys are "Super Sp.erm" and lasted 4 days until that late ovulation time. 

I think it's much more likely that "something" is happening.  Here's hoping it's a sticky little eggie making itself at home...

Twinge City

Feel free to skip this part if you're not into ttc symptom watching... So, I felt what seemed like uterine "twinges" today, 8 or 9 dpo, in the lower left side of my abdomen.  :-)  This point "twinged," or sort of pulsed, three or four times in about a minute.  Who knows what's going on in there, but I do feel happy to have felt it. 

In addition, my temperature also took a second jump up today from 98.2 to 98.5.  And, lastly, when I inserted my progesterone this morning, I noticed my cervix was decidedly lower.  I never noticed this before.  I'm thinking it's a "neutral" sign (and that's what Fertil.ity Friend tells me).  Any thoughts on this state of events?

No huge plans this weekend, but my housemate is around and I'm spending time with a friend tomorrow at her moving sale.  I normally go to dance on Sundays, then out to eat.  Because I was specifically told "no vigorous exercise," I chose not to go last week and will miss this week, as well.  Missing last week reminded me what a big part of my weekend my dancing is!  I would rather play it safe, though.

Speaking of my housemate, I wanted to share with you all that I think I cursed him by talking about his relationship in glowing terms on this blog recently.  I held him up as an example of glorious companionship, and then, this week, they break up!  I knew they were still somewhat in limbo about moving forward to the next step, which logically would have been engagement, but I didn't expect a break up! 

Right before he took this action, I asked him how he would feel if they broke up, and he said both sad and relieved.  I guess that was an indicator.  Plus, he started talking about how he didn't feel a strong desire to move forward; that he really wanted to feel excited and compelled to move to the next level.  I understand what he's saying... but now he gets to rejoin me back in "The Land of Singledom," which equals, "The Land of No Sex or Intimate Companionship." lol  Anyway, just thought I'd share the weird timing, immediately following my sunny blog post about the two of them.