FET Update #5 - PUPO and signs

The transfer went well! When we arrived, we met with the embryologist who told us that, out of the two they thawed, one looked “perfect,” and the other was struggling a bit to fully expand. She said it was remodeling or rebounding, however, and she was optimistic about its chances once it was transferred to the uterine environment.

She said if we wanted two perfect ones, they would thaw another one, but she said she only recommended that route if we were sure we wanted twins. We decided we’d rather leave it up to God, and, if were meant to have twins, we will. Honestly, once I saw the two embryos, I was in love with both of them and wanted both to have a chance. After we made the decision and signed required paperwork, I had to drink more water and wait a bit for my bladder to fill, then the doctor came in and everything progressed without a hitch.

Traveling back that afternoon by air (using RC's miles, which required us to first travel to L.A. boo!) after the transfer wasn’t ideal, but I tried to take it easy and not rush or lift heavy items, etc.

In the last week, I’ve had some interesting signs that something might be happening in my uterus. I definitely felt light pulling cramps both on the left and the right side in the two days after transfer and, the day afterwards, I experienced two light episodes of spotting. One with darker blood at 5am, and one with pinkish blood at 4pm.  It was very minimal; just on the tissue when I went to the bathroom. Then I had nothing for days until yesterday, when I experienced a squinter streak of old blood on the tissue at 11:30am. I do feel excited about this sign, because the timing, in all three cases, is right on for it to be implantation bleeding.

Additional signs include a bad sinus headache on the left side of my forehead, starting Sunday and going through yesterday.  I also had some interesting brief headache feelings on the top of my head and towards the back, as well as additional pulsing or pang-like cramps here and there.

It may be attributed to the meds, but  I've been quite moody at times, as well, both irritable or easily frustrated and sad. Bursts of emotion, after which you say, "Wow, that came out of nowhere!" Or you realize as you walk, alone and sobbing, down the street (after telling your partner, "Just go ahead! we’re not even talking anyway!" lol), that this is very likely fueled by hormones.

After the spotting, I almost reconsidered doing an HPT, but RC is against it. I think he's probably right because, last time, it was SO stressful for us, and I'd rather stay as calm as possible until the beta. My C & B meditations are totally helping right now, by the way. :) 

The beta test is scheduled for Friday; everything crossed!!

What is going on here?

I'm posting this in case it's happened to any of you or you know of it happening to someone...

Basically, I am five or six days late for my period. I've had a little - sorry for TMI - dark spotting but no red blood. I felt a little cramping (very light) a couple of times before the spotting followed later. My breasts have been sore since the weekend, also.

Before anyone gets excited, it's been over month and a half since S and I broke up. And I had a period at the very start of May. It was a somewhat lighter period and maybe a day shorter but still, a full period with - again sorry for TMI - cramping and full flow but not tissue that I can remember, which I usually do notice. So, of course, I'm googling bleeding while pregnant, etc.

But the rational part of me, knowing my age and the odds considering S was still on chemo pills, believes this to likely be about hormone-imbalance or peri-menopause. It's just never happened before, so it definitely raises my curiosity. Any thoughts or experience you're willing to share?

*As soon as I post this, I bet I start my cycle...

Not looking good...

Sadly, it looks as if my next cycle is likely starting today, at 14dpo.  I had a bit of cramping and darkish spotting yesterday and today some more, with an increased amount of spotting (still dark).   The cramping has stopped at this point, and I felt a strong "twinge" cramp earlier today in the uterine area.

Do you think there is a chance I might be experiencing late implantation?  Did anyone else who has experienced pregnancy have spotting around the very end of their cycle?

I'm not sure what my next step will be, if this cycle is over.  I guess I will do as I was thinking and get back on track for surgery to have my large fibroid removed.  Unless I get a very strong sign that I should go forward with IVF with my own eggs, I am not going to pursue that due to my chances of success and financial limitations.

I do see possible donor eggs or embryos in my future or possibly adoption... more on these possibilities later.  If any of you that have been reading this blog for a while would like to give me some sisterly advice on what you think would be the best choice for me, I would love to hear from you now or later.  I am just beginning research and mainly know about these options through the stories of others.

The Cute and the Weird

Posting the final post of October 2011.  I'm still deciding whether to join NaBloPoMo for November, the biggest month.  I haven't seemed to get much increased traffic from participating, but maybe I'm not as active as I would need to be to really reap the benefits?

Part of the challenge is that there doesn't seem to be a "good fit" category for my non-Niche blog.  It would probably best fit in a "trying to conceive" category right now.  Either that, or a dating/relationship category, but neither of those seem to exist.  Just "Family" and "General" and "Niche," but Niches seems to Nichey for my blog.  lol

Anyway, on to this final October post.

So I ended up giving some candy out tonight, though I hadn't planned on it, because my housemate got back earlier than I expected and sort of encouraged me (encouraged me and then left to go out to dinner, but it still worked).  And also I ended up being home during the prime hours and happened to find a bag of Hershey's kisses and some other candy and pencils left over from teaching to add to the mix.

We don't get many trick-or-treaters anyway, so my measly loot lasted until a little after 8 p.m., at which time I turned off the porch light and blew out the pumpkin.

The smaller kids who came early on were the cutest: little princesses and animal babies with shy, barely heard, "trick or treat"s.  Because they hadn't yet learned procedure, some of them said it in tandem with knocking, which was too cute.

In other (ttc) news - sorry for TMI and I won't be offended if you stop reading here - I saw some tannish color on the tissue earlier this evening.  It's only 2-3 dpo so it can't possibly be implantation bleeding, right?  Has anyone else experienced this?  I've never had this happen so early in my cycle.  So I'm somewhat befuddled, but trying to just forget about it and chalk it up to hormones or stress or something.

I teach tomorrow so will be going to bed at the semi-ridiculously early hour of 10 or 10:30 p.m. tonight.  I hope the little devils are kind to me again this week!  At least I have an hour and a half lunch this cycle, so I have a Vietnamese lunch with my Teaching Assistant to look forward to, in between periods of cramming in a career interest assessment that should really take twice as long as the timeframe we are given.