Work: Professional, Relational, Communal

I am sitting outside on our back deck (I live with a housemate) in the blazing sun, couldn't be more happy with our local East Bay climate right now!

I had an interview yesterday with a homeless shelter for families, mainly female head-of-household.  The job would involve running the career center and providing individual career assessment and counseling, as well as other enrichment activities to build confidence, self-awareness, and life balance.

The positives:  considerable creative license in terms of activities and tools, would use my strongest skills of counseling/training/creativity, and the program director seems really cool.

Negatives: my own confidence is not super high working with this population mainly because I haven't done it before (will I be competent in establishing trust and credibility?), the environment sounds like it is often crisis-driven and intense, and it doesn't sound like they have a lot of well-established structure/resources in place for career readiness/education purposes.

The interview seemed to go well overall, and she said I would hear back in a few weeks.  Just getting an interview in the first place feels encouraging and I appreciate the opportunity to keep my skills sharp.

In other news, dialogue continues with R.  So I guess his relationship was really on the outs. . .Since last posting he has found an apartment and plans to move later this month.  He asked about my trip to Oregon for my brother's wedding the weekend of March 19th.  I said I had thought about basically coming for the weekend since I was clear I didn't want to see him if he was in a relationship.  Right.

But since he won't be, then the possibility of us spending time together is opened up.   We both agreed that if we get together, we would like it to be for several days so that we have time to reconnect, relax, and talk through things in an unrushed way.

We have continued to have "processing" conversations, which I don't want to get into right now, but I did share more of my feelings, including that I am angry and sad with my own choices and abilities at the time.  I still carry some guilt of my own.

I would love to have a spiritual leader to talk with right now and be given some sort of amends or penance to perform as a process of working through guilt and receiving forgiveness.  I'm not really a religious person,  though am very spiritual, but sometimes I would like more structure and guidance around these things.  Anyway, just trying to stay in the moment with it all.

Friday night, we are having another meeting of my "Heart and Soul" Transition Towns Group, with whom I did the Work that Reconnects workshop.  This is our second official meeting and potluck, and I look forward to connecting more with these folks - to talking about possibilities of how to build heart connections.  And how to support ourselves and the larger community around transitioning to a more local/sustainable way of living.

Work that Reconnects

I attended a workshop on Saturday called, "The Work that Reconnects," created by Joanna Macy. http://www.joannamacy.net/theworkthatreconnects/goals.html

My recent meeting with the local Transition Towns (TT) "Heart and Soul" group in Albany led me to this workshop, and I left feeling excited about potential of these exercises to empower and build local community. On a personal level, I feel excited about working with these people toward TT goals and that this collaboration might be really fun and fulfilling!

A little more about my experience: The exercises were really deep and engaging and led us into asking deep questions of one another. It was amazing to me what was revealed in such a short time in some of the partner activities, leaving you feeling like you really got a sense of who the person is, of their fundamental life experiences and what shapes them.

Some of the dialogue questions included asking about the person who most gave you a sense of your own worth, about a significant place from your childhood, what you love about nature/earth, and your feelings about what is happening now with the earth and other things - all very rich.

In one of the following exercises, we created a "Truth Mandala" with four corners: leaves representing grief, a bowl for emptiness, a sturdy stick for anger, and a stone for fear. We took turns visiting the corners and speaking to one or more of these emotions. I felt honored and amazed to witness others’ emotional expression, which I experienced as authentic, truthful, and without embellishment or prettying up.

I shared about grief about the current work situation in world: how limited it is and how people are expected to fit into little boxes/niches and are not nurtured and guided to express their true essence/gifts. How wounding shallow judgments can be, such as the judgment that not enough status or money=a meaningless life etc.

The grief started on a personal level stemming from recent conversations with my father and the subsequent emotional shift I've already talked about to fully claim my life and my own identity. . .but also expanded out to recognize the way our system fails so many people, fails to value and capture everyone's gifts, all of which are needed as we evolve to become a stronger, more sustainable (and humane) community/society. I felt safe to let go and openly express those things.

The final exercise we did was in triads, in which each group rotated roles with one person representing themselves and sharing their intention going forward, then alternately expressing their "voice of doubt". The second person spoke from the role of the first person's ancestor, and the third person spoke to them from the voice of a "future being".

Through this exercise, I was reassured that my gifts (counseling, training, creativity) are very much needed and was told the pill to relieve constipated creative expression is FAITH in my gifts. I need to nurture and water the seeds so they can continue to grow. The future being told me that a combination of my gifts is key and that they will be useful, especially counseling, in coming times.

Later, one of my group members, Eva, offered an idea that had really worked for her cousin about volunteering leading to a perfect wonderful job for them and also a networking opportunity with her son who teaches theatre at Berkeley high school. She said he’s gone in the schools and done some social change/socially relevant plays and explorative curriculum with the students, which sounds cool.

You never know where networking may lead. They invited me to a showing of the film, "The Economics of happiness," at their house, which I’m interested in attending and will likely have a chance to talk with their son then.

A last point: I am grateful for the facilitator, Anne, and the way she utilized her own relevant life stories and shared from her heart. She really created a sense of safety for the group.

*Side note: Synergistically, in sharing about this workshop with some ecstatic dance friends on Sunday, I think I may have found a volunteer opportunity providing career counseling services for parolees through a county mental health organization!