I just assisted at an intro. weekend for my business marketing group. We gain benefits in terms of connecting more with staff and others in the program who are assisting, but are also paid several hundred dollars towards our current debt or future programs with them. So, it's well worth it for me, as I now, after working this weekend, owe them less than $1000! I wrote the powers that be an email asking if there was any way I could do their next level "Speaker" program in June/July, which would help my inner confidence continue to grow AND give me tools to speak on stage and make program offers. I hope she says yes, but it's likely she will say no. If it's a no, then I'll assist at the intro. weekend in September and hope to join that program then. The problem is that the Speaker events I want to attend only happen in June/July of each year, so I would have to wait over a year to take them (there are other awesome events with that program, too, called "leverage"). Even if I don't do the Speaker event this summer, I still plan to speak to groups and give workshops to the best of my ability; I just know that my ability would be far greater with this program. We will see what happens.
As is true after all of these weekends, I'm super exhausted today. I slept in big-time and can't believe it's after 4pm already. I haven't even eaten lunch... I did learn a lot and connect with other folks. Watching our program leader "dance with concerns" was definitely inspiring. One of the biggest reasons I joined this program is it wasn't about sleezy sales; it actually has a spiritual foundation and prioritizes people being "aligned" in a yes or no, versus trying to win them over to a yes no matter what. And that is translating to the consultations I am doing with possible clients. I am better able to talk with them about their worries and not collapse into just saying, "Okay, no problem, that's fine for you not to work with me," or "Okay, no problem, I can reduce my rate to a lower amount." Instead, I hold my own value and alignment and support them to make an aligned decision for themselves; one that they don't regret. I don't know if this makes sense as I'm explaining it, but it's a different approach and I feel grateful to be learning and practicing it.
I have eight clients now and several more consultations on my calendar and a workshop coming up at the end of the month. I would still like to pick up part-time college counseling hours again to support me, at least for now. I heard back from a couple full-time applications that I did not get interviews. Still waiting to hear back on three possibilities for part-time work, which would be my ideal. Fingers crossed.
A last thought about S - he is continuing to do well with his treatment but it's uncomfortable and aggravating, and hard to sustain for so long over these last few months. I'm doing my best to be supportive and hold onto the bigger picture, but sometimes I just want him to be more loving and for us both not be in limbo waiting to feel normal again.
Showing posts with label Thrive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thrive. Show all posts
2/22/2016
Expanding Business and Family
I just attended another weekend intensive for my business marketing program. Whew, my Introvert is once again exhausted! I'm glad I went, though, because I am now re-inspired to keep the momentum growing with my business.
I also had a moment of insight that I hope will continue to unfold and positively affect my energy and the flow of money in my business. It happened near the end of the last day when the program leader did another "break-through" session with an attendee that helped them heal from a block holding them back. We then went through an exercise that could potentially heal the same block in us... basically, letting other people's criticism and ways they had hurt us hold us back from expressing our gifts and living our life fully. I initially thought that my "issue" was around a frat guy kind of archetype being critical of or hurtful to me - which I have had some unfortunate experience with and which my dad resembles in some ways - but then during the exercise I became emotionally triggered when my partner looked away at someone else in the room (we were taking turns doing dance/movement for the purpose of taking our power back). When she did that, I felt my power immediately drop out of me and I couldn't recover it, ending the exercise feeling sad.
On reflection, I realized a core issue for me is letting others define whether I am important or "good enough." It may sound simple, but it feels significant to pinpoint. It's odd because I have felt scared to be "seen" at time with putting my business communication and messages into the world, but I think underlying that is a fear that I will put my heart out there and create something I care about and want to share with others and no one will be interested or want it. So, I think that leads to me playing it somewhat safe and not wholeheartedly putting myself out there in my work and daring to care or become attached. Something like that. I'm still figuring it out. Anyway, I feel grateful and plan to discuss it in my business coaching session because I think it will lead to growth. This program places importance on both the "inner" and "outer" game or work we do, which resonates with the way I view my own work with clients and is a big part of why I joined this program.
S and I are getting along well and have had fun together lately, as well as sharing some productive and loving conversations. After struggling with my judgmental side coming up again strongly in our relationship, I made a shift in which I changed the question to "how" versus "whether." In other words, focusing on how to be in the relationship and deal with my judgments versus whether to continue in the relationship considering the judgments, which I think is a positive boundary for me. My mind definitely has the tendency to fixate on something and drive me, and others, crazy at times. He is being very helpful and supportive with my business, which feels awesome.
Lastly, his daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter are definitely moving out here in a month or month and a half. His granddaughter is only one and a half and a smart and adorable little girl. We will spend time with them regularly, I think, and be part of their support system. S will more than me, but I see both of us being involved, especially considering my thus far very positive connection with his daughter and the way S and my relationship is heading. Wow, just thinking about that is exciting! And I can enjoy it without reservation because S is supportive now of my own desire to become a mom. So, I don't feel like it's one or the other or in place of having my own child.
Oh, and S is recovered from his stomach flu and finally getting back to regular strength after his surgery. I know he has more treatment to come, but it's nice to have some time where he is feeling good!
I also had a moment of insight that I hope will continue to unfold and positively affect my energy and the flow of money in my business. It happened near the end of the last day when the program leader did another "break-through" session with an attendee that helped them heal from a block holding them back. We then went through an exercise that could potentially heal the same block in us... basically, letting other people's criticism and ways they had hurt us hold us back from expressing our gifts and living our life fully. I initially thought that my "issue" was around a frat guy kind of archetype being critical of or hurtful to me - which I have had some unfortunate experience with and which my dad resembles in some ways - but then during the exercise I became emotionally triggered when my partner looked away at someone else in the room (we were taking turns doing dance/movement for the purpose of taking our power back). When she did that, I felt my power immediately drop out of me and I couldn't recover it, ending the exercise feeling sad.
On reflection, I realized a core issue for me is letting others define whether I am important or "good enough." It may sound simple, but it feels significant to pinpoint. It's odd because I have felt scared to be "seen" at time with putting my business communication and messages into the world, but I think underlying that is a fear that I will put my heart out there and create something I care about and want to share with others and no one will be interested or want it. So, I think that leads to me playing it somewhat safe and not wholeheartedly putting myself out there in my work and daring to care or become attached. Something like that. I'm still figuring it out. Anyway, I feel grateful and plan to discuss it in my business coaching session because I think it will lead to growth. This program places importance on both the "inner" and "outer" game or work we do, which resonates with the way I view my own work with clients and is a big part of why I joined this program.
S and I are getting along well and have had fun together lately, as well as sharing some productive and loving conversations. After struggling with my judgmental side coming up again strongly in our relationship, I made a shift in which I changed the question to "how" versus "whether." In other words, focusing on how to be in the relationship and deal with my judgments versus whether to continue in the relationship considering the judgments, which I think is a positive boundary for me. My mind definitely has the tendency to fixate on something and drive me, and others, crazy at times. He is being very helpful and supportive with my business, which feels awesome.
Lastly, his daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter are definitely moving out here in a month or month and a half. His granddaughter is only one and a half and a smart and adorable little girl. We will spend time with them regularly, I think, and be part of their support system. S will more than me, but I see both of us being involved, especially considering my thus far very positive connection with his daughter and the way S and my relationship is heading. Wow, just thinking about that is exciting! And I can enjoy it without reservation because S is supportive now of my own desire to become a mom. So, I don't feel like it's one or the other or in place of having my own child.
Oh, and S is recovered from his stomach flu and finally getting back to regular strength after his surgery. I know he has more treatment to come, but it's nice to have some time where he is feeling good!
3/01/2015
The Tale of Two Men...
Well, maybe not a complete tale, but the start of one...
First of all, I want to thank those of you that responded to my last post about my mom; it really meant a lot to me. Thanks for continuing to hold her and my family in your thoughts and prayers.
Onward with the tale...
I think I have had a couple more dates with SB since the last time I posted. We went to brunch and a book art exhibit, which was pretty fun. My type of day! Of course, I love brunch! And art seems to be a great bonding activity for SB and I. Then, before I left to Oregon, he came to my theater group, which was having a newbie night. It was just okay (continuing our up and down theme). I know I was tired - I think both of us were - and one exercise he and I did together during the class was actually disconnecting. I shared something about myself in an exercise and his response was sort of flippant, I think. I had already been judging him physically, especially in comparison to my beefy landlord/housemate, J, who leads the class. Afterwards, we went out for a glass of wine and loosened up a little but it wasn't a great night overall.
Then I went to Oregon, then I had my weekend workshop, so it was kind of non-stop busy. We reconnected Friday on the phone as he headed out of town to visit his daughter in Santa Barbara and made plans to get together tomorrow night. But we had another emotional disconnect on the phone when I shared a vulnerable exercise from my weekend workshop and he started relating it to a story about Mitt Romney. WTF! Ridiculous.
But. We talked through it and I was very direct in saying I need empathy. I need to be able to share emotional things and feel like he is "with" me, cares, and is at least trying to understand. He said that everyone wants that, which is probably true, and nice of him to say. He said he sees that he has a pattern of disconnecting at these times and that it is something he wants to change. Something about fear of disappointment or not being able to handle it or something. Anyway, we came up with a "safe word" (kinda funny) where I will say, "Stay with me now," when he does this and he will try to stay connected, hopefully without getting triggered into his fear of disappointing me. Good to have a game plan anyway, and we will see how it goes.
I have said several times that maybe he needs to be with someone who is more cerebral and less sensitive, but he doesn't seem to want that? Underneath, I am also thinking that maybe I need to be with someone who is more feeling-oriented and sensitive, but I do like a lot of things about our connection, not the least of which that I generally feel comfortable and like I can be myself with him.
The other guy in the picture, C, is the guy I went to the live music and dancing event with three weeks ago. It was a great night! He hasn't had a lot of dance lessons, but he has good natural ability and was playful and fun to dance with. He is cute and has an athletic build I find sexy. I would say, though, that he's kind of inward-focused and quirky... definitely smart - he's pursuing his PhD in public policy and working as a public transportation union leader - but the emotional intimacy piece I'm not sure about. It's too soon to tell. We had a nice physical connection and the hugging at the end felt great, but the kissing was, well, not so great. It was a little weird, like his technique is off or he was holding back.
He suggested three last minute dates over the last three weeks, all of which I declined and said I was unavailable. Not loving the last minute invitations, and my brother and I agreed that it likely indicates ambivalence. Yesterday, when he made his third last minute proposal, and we had a couple rounds of lackluster emails, I said in my direct way that it seemed like he was less than excited to see me again, and was this true? He said no, definitely not, that he has some reservations about dating in general, but that after seeing me before, he was "charged" for several days. Hmm, interesting. So, we have plans now for wine this Thursday and possibly the next one, as well, for swing dancing. I hope to learn more about his dating reservations and see if we have enough connection to continue getting to know each other.
Curious what your feelings are about both situations, when you hear about them? Any questions you have about either situation? Obviously I know SB a lot better at this point and am seeing patterns emerge. I like him a lot but also have doubts. C is still, to a large extent, an unknown quantity. Physically, I find him very appealing, and I know he can match me intellectually but am not sure about other levels. That brings us to the end of this chapter in the Tale of Two Men. :)
As a last bombshell to throw in here, my housemate told me on Friday that he will definitely be selling the house this summer and would like me to move out in two months. Ohhhkay. I admit this was not as shocking as it would have been had we - he, I, and his partner - not had a conversation a few weeks ago about money in which it was clear they felt I had been paying far under the market rate, and that he was looking to make more money and at least break even on the mortgage and expenses, etc. (at the time the options we were discussing is me moving into the other bedroom and paying a bit more rent and getting a new roommate as soon as possible). Of course, I understand that, it's just strange when we agreed on the rent amount and he seemed good with it - and planned to share the house with me - and then everything changed and it seems he now feels he did me a huge favor and is not happy with the amount. He feels part of the favor is "letting" me live here by myself, but that was never my choice, so it's hard for me to see that as a favor.
I think a lot of the "shifting sands" feeling I have is because he is in a huge time of change himself, and is also needing to now make decisions with his new partner. So, he really HAS changed his tune over the time I've been living here. Hard to believe it has been five months already. I feel a little sick thinking of moving again, but somehow I'm not freaking out and actually feel it could be "meant to be," as this is not a good house for a small child. I'm trying to roll with it and just keep making big efforts with my business. These efforts are starting to take hold! No new clients yet, but am getting the word out there and generating lots of possibilities. Please think good thoughts for me, as this business taking off is going to be a huge piece of making this transition work.
First of all, I want to thank those of you that responded to my last post about my mom; it really meant a lot to me. Thanks for continuing to hold her and my family in your thoughts and prayers.
Onward with the tale...
 |
| This seemed an appropriate picture somehow... |
I think I have had a couple more dates with SB since the last time I posted. We went to brunch and a book art exhibit, which was pretty fun. My type of day! Of course, I love brunch! And art seems to be a great bonding activity for SB and I. Then, before I left to Oregon, he came to my theater group, which was having a newbie night. It was just okay (continuing our up and down theme). I know I was tired - I think both of us were - and one exercise he and I did together during the class was actually disconnecting. I shared something about myself in an exercise and his response was sort of flippant, I think. I had already been judging him physically, especially in comparison to my beefy landlord/housemate, J, who leads the class. Afterwards, we went out for a glass of wine and loosened up a little but it wasn't a great night overall.
Then I went to Oregon, then I had my weekend workshop, so it was kind of non-stop busy. We reconnected Friday on the phone as he headed out of town to visit his daughter in Santa Barbara and made plans to get together tomorrow night. But we had another emotional disconnect on the phone when I shared a vulnerable exercise from my weekend workshop and he started relating it to a story about Mitt Romney. WTF! Ridiculous.
But. We talked through it and I was very direct in saying I need empathy. I need to be able to share emotional things and feel like he is "with" me, cares, and is at least trying to understand. He said that everyone wants that, which is probably true, and nice of him to say. He said he sees that he has a pattern of disconnecting at these times and that it is something he wants to change. Something about fear of disappointment or not being able to handle it or something. Anyway, we came up with a "safe word" (kinda funny) where I will say, "Stay with me now," when he does this and he will try to stay connected, hopefully without getting triggered into his fear of disappointing me. Good to have a game plan anyway, and we will see how it goes.
I have said several times that maybe he needs to be with someone who is more cerebral and less sensitive, but he doesn't seem to want that? Underneath, I am also thinking that maybe I need to be with someone who is more feeling-oriented and sensitive, but I do like a lot of things about our connection, not the least of which that I generally feel comfortable and like I can be myself with him.
The other guy in the picture, C, is the guy I went to the live music and dancing event with three weeks ago. It was a great night! He hasn't had a lot of dance lessons, but he has good natural ability and was playful and fun to dance with. He is cute and has an athletic build I find sexy. I would say, though, that he's kind of inward-focused and quirky... definitely smart - he's pursuing his PhD in public policy and working as a public transportation union leader - but the emotional intimacy piece I'm not sure about. It's too soon to tell. We had a nice physical connection and the hugging at the end felt great, but the kissing was, well, not so great. It was a little weird, like his technique is off or he was holding back.
He suggested three last minute dates over the last three weeks, all of which I declined and said I was unavailable. Not loving the last minute invitations, and my brother and I agreed that it likely indicates ambivalence. Yesterday, when he made his third last minute proposal, and we had a couple rounds of lackluster emails, I said in my direct way that it seemed like he was less than excited to see me again, and was this true? He said no, definitely not, that he has some reservations about dating in general, but that after seeing me before, he was "charged" for several days. Hmm, interesting. So, we have plans now for wine this Thursday and possibly the next one, as well, for swing dancing. I hope to learn more about his dating reservations and see if we have enough connection to continue getting to know each other.
Curious what your feelings are about both situations, when you hear about them? Any questions you have about either situation? Obviously I know SB a lot better at this point and am seeing patterns emerge. I like him a lot but also have doubts. C is still, to a large extent, an unknown quantity. Physically, I find him very appealing, and I know he can match me intellectually but am not sure about other levels. That brings us to the end of this chapter in the Tale of Two Men. :)
As a last bombshell to throw in here, my housemate told me on Friday that he will definitely be selling the house this summer and would like me to move out in two months. Ohhhkay. I admit this was not as shocking as it would have been had we - he, I, and his partner - not had a conversation a few weeks ago about money in which it was clear they felt I had been paying far under the market rate, and that he was looking to make more money and at least break even on the mortgage and expenses, etc. (at the time the options we were discussing is me moving into the other bedroom and paying a bit more rent and getting a new roommate as soon as possible). Of course, I understand that, it's just strange when we agreed on the rent amount and he seemed good with it - and planned to share the house with me - and then everything changed and it seems he now feels he did me a huge favor and is not happy with the amount. He feels part of the favor is "letting" me live here by myself, but that was never my choice, so it's hard for me to see that as a favor.
I think a lot of the "shifting sands" feeling I have is because he is in a huge time of change himself, and is also needing to now make decisions with his new partner. So, he really HAS changed his tune over the time I've been living here. Hard to believe it has been five months already. I feel a little sick thinking of moving again, but somehow I'm not freaking out and actually feel it could be "meant to be," as this is not a good house for a small child. I'm trying to roll with it and just keep making big efforts with my business. These efforts are starting to take hold! No new clients yet, but am getting the word out there and generating lots of possibilities. Please think good thoughts for me, as this business taking off is going to be a huge piece of making this transition work.
2/01/2015
Business and Pleasure
I don't really have time to write this morning, but still felt the need. Later today, I am embarking on the seventh date with the guy I spoke about, SB. We are attending a Sup.er Bowl party at the house of one of his co-workers. I'm looking forward to it, but also it feels like too much is happening today. I am going to leave soon to go to my Sunday morning dance group. I would skip it, actually, but we are doing a "newbie night" soon at my Inter.Play theatre group, and I want to cross-polinate and give invite flyers to dance friends.
Part of my busyness is that I am also moving forward with actions to reach clients and build my career counseling practice. These actions have included attending a small (very small - like 10 people) networking event last Monday and practiced my "What do you do?" spiel about the clients I seek to attract. People responded well! So that was encouraging and I have a few business cards to follow up with. I have also been racking my brain for people and places with which to network and reflecting on the "package" I will offer clients. Those of you doing coaching/counseling might relate to this. I do not have teleseminars/video or a book yet, so my package is just made up of services:
My potential clients are "amazing women who want to make a difference but are stuck in dead end jobs that don't fit them. I help them blaze a trail to sustainable, meaningful careers that are deeply connected to their passion." What do you think? I hope my package offers enough juicy value that they will be excited to sign up for that level of commitment with me.
But back to dating, the topic more likely of interest to you! We had the fabulous date last week checking out local artist galleries and having drinks/dinner. Overall a really fun and connected time. Then, Friday night, we went to the Oakland museum for a food truck/music event. It was just okay... We seem to be kind of up and down and honestly, I think it's more me that is up and down. I do think he contributes by being more or less engaged and grounded based on his intense work schedule and being an introvert, etc. But I am still struggling at times with thinking that he not "my type" and focusing on what is not "perfect" about him - an oh so familiar struggle, blech!
I think it is true that I would prefer he was less lanky and more stocky, and that it would be nice if he were a little more "cute" in the way I experience cute. Looking at the positive aspects, he is fit and strong and has sweet, friendly eyes and a nice smile. I like his hands and how they feel in mine. The kisses are yummy. And personality-wise, though he is more cerebral, he is also very attentive and caring, intelligent, and can roll with my "direct" nature. Whereas my last boyfriend was a runner, SB is a stayer. If something comes up, he becomes more engaged and tries to talk it through. I appreciate that very much.
Well, that's all the time I have to analyze today. :-) I will write more later after today's date. I do have a date with another guy for next weekend, which feels right for the stage SB and I are at. I am not ready to commit.
Part of my busyness is that I am also moving forward with actions to reach clients and build my career counseling practice. These actions have included attending a small (very small - like 10 people) networking event last Monday and practiced my "What do you do?" spiel about the clients I seek to attract. People responded well! So that was encouraging and I have a few business cards to follow up with. I have also been racking my brain for people and places with which to network and reflecting on the "package" I will offer clients. Those of you doing coaching/counseling might relate to this. I do not have teleseminars/video or a book yet, so my package is just made up of services:
- 8 hour-long career counseling sessions
- additional email coaching between sessions
- and either resume/cover letter editing or a personality assessment (administering and interpreting assessment and providing career guidance based on results).
My potential clients are "amazing women who want to make a difference but are stuck in dead end jobs that don't fit them. I help them blaze a trail to sustainable, meaningful careers that are deeply connected to their passion." What do you think? I hope my package offers enough juicy value that they will be excited to sign up for that level of commitment with me.
But back to dating, the topic more likely of interest to you! We had the fabulous date last week checking out local artist galleries and having drinks/dinner. Overall a really fun and connected time. Then, Friday night, we went to the Oakland museum for a food truck/music event. It was just okay... We seem to be kind of up and down and honestly, I think it's more me that is up and down. I do think he contributes by being more or less engaged and grounded based on his intense work schedule and being an introvert, etc. But I am still struggling at times with thinking that he not "my type" and focusing on what is not "perfect" about him - an oh so familiar struggle, blech!
I think it is true that I would prefer he was less lanky and more stocky, and that it would be nice if he were a little more "cute" in the way I experience cute. Looking at the positive aspects, he is fit and strong and has sweet, friendly eyes and a nice smile. I like his hands and how they feel in mine. The kisses are yummy. And personality-wise, though he is more cerebral, he is also very attentive and caring, intelligent, and can roll with my "direct" nature. Whereas my last boyfriend was a runner, SB is a stayer. If something comes up, he becomes more engaged and tries to talk it through. I appreciate that very much.
Well, that's all the time I have to analyze today. :-) I will write more later after today's date. I do have a date with another guy for next weekend, which feels right for the stage SB and I are at. I am not ready to commit.
1/23/2015
Stepping Out on Faith
So, I have a dating report... as well as a report on my hotshot "client attraction" workshop last weekend. And a couple other tidbits of info. Some developments require me to show faith...
Dating has been up and down. I went out a couple more times with the guy I mentioned before. He spontaneously came to my 'hood to watch the college National Championship game (booo Ohio State). I was really sad when things took a turn against Oregon, but c'est la vie. I think more emotions come up for me because of the connection with home and family. In any case, things became awkward again. I think he's sort of co-dependent in his response to things in that he tries to fix them right away or just tries too hard in general. But then again maybe I am comparing him to my family culture in which my parents don't try much at all. It brings up my anxiety and I want to tell him to just chill out. On the other hand, I appreciate that he doesn't run away when things get awkward or tense, and the kissing continues to be good.
Last week, we met for drinks. The bar was packed and distracting. I found myself checking out another guy - that's not a good sign is it? He wasn't making very good conversation, but then again, neither was I. It's weird because we had such a good conversation the first time we went out; maybe I keep wanting to experience that again. So, yeah, somewhat awkward and confusing again, then good kissing at the end. This week, he seems to have taken a step back, which works to make me a bit more interested (annoying this works, but it does). We have both genuinely been busy and were supposed to get together Monday, but I bailed because my energy was super low after the weekend workshop and I needed to catch up and recharge. Then we were supposed to have a phone convo, and he bailed. Last night, he asked me out for Saturday. I guess I will go and see if fourth time is a charm? What do you think?
I have also been interacting (sending "likes" etc.) and emailing with other guys from the online site. There is one guy who seems very interesting who actually lives in my area. He "liked" me and I reciprocated... I am waiting to see if he sends a message. If I don't hear from him in a couple days, I might extend the first message. I don't have rules about that kind of thing. From what I have heard, I think here in the Bay Area, it is very common for women to initiate contact. So, I'll keep you posted.
The weekend workshop! was! amazing! Presented by the "Thrive Academy," it was three full days packed with useful information and personal growth activities aimed at increasing your confidence and skills as a holistic practitioner/coach/counselor in terms of marketing yourself and attracting clients. Friday night, I had this big breakthrough in this exercise where you hold your chair up (it symbolizes the weight of your fears and barriers) and do this visualization imagining yourself going along as you have for the rest of your life and basically not breaking out of your self-imposed cage to experience freedom and your full potential. Part of it was calling in your "power animal" which is not new to me, as I have been part of women's groups with a Native American focus, and have had many dreams, as well, in which mountain lions (and other powerful) cats have come to me. So in the visualization, when he asked us to call in our power animal, the mountain lion was right there for me and it was so powerful to break out of the cage and limiting beliefs, which were tied to family and self worth.
I admit that exercise and others, as well as connecting with a few awesome people - part of the "magic" of the program is mutual support and community - and hearing about the proven results, combined to hook me. I signed up for their year-long client attraction mastery program! I can attend four weekend intensives this year, should I choose. I am definitely attending in February and March. It's nice because they are just during the day, then I can come home and recharge and care for Zoey at night. I have already started working the steps of the program and have set up my first coaching call. I intend to attract several new clients by the end of February, which will allow me to continue working part-time at the college AND earning a higher-level income to experience more abundance and choice - including foster/adopt and a larger living space (either through renting this entire two-bedroom house or moving). I am both scared and very excited. Please send me good thoughts!
Speaking of the foster/adopt program, after the packet got lost over Christmas, I finally received it a week ago and spoke with someone on the phone this week. I plan to attend the orientation in February and likely begin the four-Saturday Pride training in April, after my two client attraction workshops in February/March. I think I mentioned that I completed a similar training when I lived in San Luis Obis.po, but that was several years ago (they require more current attendance). An April training schedule will give me time to increase my work with clients and prepare. The good news is that I could foster a child under two-years old with only one bedroom. But it's a bit risky because if they turn three during the placement, I would have to move immediately. I really would prefer to foster/adopt an infant, though, so maybe it is "meant to be" to begin this way.
That's all the news for now. Hope your year is starting with many blessings.
Dating has been up and down. I went out a couple more times with the guy I mentioned before. He spontaneously came to my 'hood to watch the college National Championship game (booo Ohio State). I was really sad when things took a turn against Oregon, but c'est la vie. I think more emotions come up for me because of the connection with home and family. In any case, things became awkward again. I think he's sort of co-dependent in his response to things in that he tries to fix them right away or just tries too hard in general. But then again maybe I am comparing him to my family culture in which my parents don't try much at all. It brings up my anxiety and I want to tell him to just chill out. On the other hand, I appreciate that he doesn't run away when things get awkward or tense, and the kissing continues to be good.
Last week, we met for drinks. The bar was packed and distracting. I found myself checking out another guy - that's not a good sign is it? He wasn't making very good conversation, but then again, neither was I. It's weird because we had such a good conversation the first time we went out; maybe I keep wanting to experience that again. So, yeah, somewhat awkward and confusing again, then good kissing at the end. This week, he seems to have taken a step back, which works to make me a bit more interested (annoying this works, but it does). We have both genuinely been busy and were supposed to get together Monday, but I bailed because my energy was super low after the weekend workshop and I needed to catch up and recharge. Then we were supposed to have a phone convo, and he bailed. Last night, he asked me out for Saturday. I guess I will go and see if fourth time is a charm? What do you think?
I have also been interacting (sending "likes" etc.) and emailing with other guys from the online site. There is one guy who seems very interesting who actually lives in my area. He "liked" me and I reciprocated... I am waiting to see if he sends a message. If I don't hear from him in a couple days, I might extend the first message. I don't have rules about that kind of thing. From what I have heard, I think here in the Bay Area, it is very common for women to initiate contact. So, I'll keep you posted.
The weekend workshop! was! amazing! Presented by the "Thrive Academy," it was three full days packed with useful information and personal growth activities aimed at increasing your confidence and skills as a holistic practitioner/coach/counselor in terms of marketing yourself and attracting clients. Friday night, I had this big breakthrough in this exercise where you hold your chair up (it symbolizes the weight of your fears and barriers) and do this visualization imagining yourself going along as you have for the rest of your life and basically not breaking out of your self-imposed cage to experience freedom and your full potential. Part of it was calling in your "power animal" which is not new to me, as I have been part of women's groups with a Native American focus, and have had many dreams, as well, in which mountain lions (and other powerful) cats have come to me. So in the visualization, when he asked us to call in our power animal, the mountain lion was right there for me and it was so powerful to break out of the cage and limiting beliefs, which were tied to family and self worth.
I admit that exercise and others, as well as connecting with a few awesome people - part of the "magic" of the program is mutual support and community - and hearing about the proven results, combined to hook me. I signed up for their year-long client attraction mastery program! I can attend four weekend intensives this year, should I choose. I am definitely attending in February and March. It's nice because they are just during the day, then I can come home and recharge and care for Zoey at night. I have already started working the steps of the program and have set up my first coaching call. I intend to attract several new clients by the end of February, which will allow me to continue working part-time at the college AND earning a higher-level income to experience more abundance and choice - including foster/adopt and a larger living space (either through renting this entire two-bedroom house or moving). I am both scared and very excited. Please send me good thoughts!
Speaking of the foster/adopt program, after the packet got lost over Christmas, I finally received it a week ago and spoke with someone on the phone this week. I plan to attend the orientation in February and likely begin the four-Saturday Pride training in April, after my two client attraction workshops in February/March. I think I mentioned that I completed a similar training when I lived in San Luis Obis.po, but that was several years ago (they require more current attendance). An April training schedule will give me time to increase my work with clients and prepare. The good news is that I could foster a child under two-years old with only one bedroom. But it's a bit risky because if they turn three during the placement, I would have to move immediately. I really would prefer to foster/adopt an infant, though, so maybe it is "meant to be" to begin this way.
That's all the news for now. Hope your year is starting with many blessings.
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