First, a few brief work updates... Still no word from Oregon! I emailed the HR person and heard back that the committee is "still at the interview stage" and "there hasn't been a job offer yet." I imagine they have moved forward with a second interview round but are not closing the door until they get a definite "yes" from one of these candidates. I keep procrastinating finishing the Napa college application for some reason. It's so arduous and repetitive. The deadline is the 20th, so I still have time.
And my potential client decided to go with someone else who specialized in "mid-life career change," which is ironic because all my clients but one younger woman are in a mid-life career change. Apparently, I didn't emphasize that well enough in my consultation. He said he really liked me and ended up speaking with 7 potential career counselors. I suppose I should feel good that I came in second, but there is no reward for second place! :( I do have three consultations in the next week or two from my meetup group. I would love to work with two of them and think we would be a great fit.
My most exciting news is that I finally attended an orientation with the organization in charge of foster care placements and adoptions in my county. As you might remember, I completed a several-week training at the beginning of last year when I lived in Oakland. Once I moved to another county last summer, I began research the process in this area. I attended a social services orientation at the end of last year, found out about this organization, and have been wanting to attend a monthly orientation ever since. The challenges were that there are two alternating locations, only one fairly close to me, the coordinator was disorganized and not a good communicator, and the dates changed at one point, as well.
I finally made it three nights ago. The gals leading it were very young; one was fresh out of college. They pulled the rookie move of not having any food or refreshments for a meeting that was at dinnertime. Boo. The presentation was pretty crappy, as well, and I've been to a few of these. They basically just read the wordy slides, not offering any personal anecdotes or opinions along the way, plus their language was harsh and discouraging. To cut them a bit of slack, the rules and policies have "just" changed in California and everyone is adjusting and learning, including developing new materials and presentations for interested foster/adopt families.
The main policy change is basically that *everyone* is now considered a "concurrent" family, meaning they are not differentiating between families interested in fostering children and families interested in adopting. After the strident, authoritative language in the presentation that seemed to say, "Get with the program; you are not allowed feelings or preferences!" I was a little stunned, and I could tell others in the room were, as well. I broke the ice and said, "Well, I am interested in adopting - I've never been a mom before and I want my own child. I'm willing to take some level of risk and support the process, but where does that leave me?"
The facilitator was fairly positive in her response and said that in that case, the social worker would likely refer kids to me who were farther along in the process. I absolutely am ready to work with the system and put the kid's needs above my own (including doing what I can to maintain relationships with bio-family members, when possible and positive for the child), but at the same time, while I admire so much people that have a heart to foster kids and work closely with the agency and the bio parents towards reunification, I am not in that place and need to be honest about it for the good everyone, including the kids. After my share, a couple other people in the room share something similar, indicating they really hoped to adopt, and it felt good to know I was not alone. I was also excited to hear that this agency has connections with kids statewide, not just in my county.
We filled out interest forms, and the next step is to meet for an individual consultation with the social workers. They already contacted me and we are working to get something on the calendar. I wish that my career/job piece could be in place first, but I will go ahead and meet regardless to get clear on what is required and what I need to be working towards. I am still most excited about CA Conceptions, but I don't think it can hurt to pursue these two paths in parallel, at this time.
Showing posts with label foster/adopt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster/adopt. Show all posts
9/10/2016
5/04/2015
Pushing Through
I wish I could say I was "flowing gently through," but I feel I am pushing through this transition and staying afloat as best I can. Which includes taking mild anti-anxiety medication for the first time in my life to get through this transition. When I saw my doctor a couple weeks ago, I said truthfully that it felt like if one more thing happened or landed on my plate, I would topple over. I'm not meaning to whine or act like a victim - I know that many people have gone through times of loss and change equal to and way bigger than the one I'm in, but my threshold of stress management was and has been reached. I'm not depressed, just a lot of emotion and stress flooding my life and my body.
The main events of course are being told I had to move, then my mom passing away, then being told the move date would not be adjusted due to time lost grieving and traveling to Oregon, then the actual packing and moving into my friend's house. Which has been a great and much-appreciated place to land but it's clear that her house is a bit over-capacity with me and Zoey and her nephew and herself all living here...I always thought she was an extrovert - and that's what she tested on the MBTI - but living with her, I now feel like she might be on the line or somewhat of an introvert. Maybe losing her husband a year ago has taken a lot out of her so that she needs more time alone, which is understandable.
In any case, I talked with her about timing and it's clear I need to move within a month, maybe a month and a half. And I was so clear and feeling so positive about finding a place that would allow me to adopt in the next few months to a year, but one of my avenues towards that just fell apart. Basically, the guy I had been talking to, who had a psychology background and had expressed openness and even interest in living with a little one, admitted last night on the phone that he probably wasn't ready to partner on a lease for a house with me. He recently moved back from Canada and is rebuilding, and renting a room is more his speed at this point. Great, guy, glad you got clear, but now I'm sort of back at square one. I had been finding a few 3-bedroom places that were in our rent range, but there are ZERO two-bedroom places in my rent range.
There is still this one option in Albany, living with a woman I met through my Transition Town work... the people currently in the house are suddenly packing up and moving to Europe but are not sure exactly when... maybe next month, but then often the landlord takes a month to turn the place over. :( It's out of my control. I know if there were a specific move date in late June or possibly even July 1, I could hold out that long at my friend's house but not any longer. The other avenue is continuing to look for a two-bedroom "suite" within a shared house, which I will go back to doing. And re-post what I'm looking for on a couple of housing boards. Late last night, I also found myself looking at jobs at the University of Oregon and the community college in Eugene. Maybe feeling so "out there" and untethered makes me want to run home.
Well, enough venting and kvetching... I want to share a couple positive things that are also happening:
That's it for now. Today, I'm going to grade papers (two more weeks of the semester - yay), read books to prepare for my career workshop/class, and focus on finding housing. And try to keep pushing through...
The main events of course are being told I had to move, then my mom passing away, then being told the move date would not be adjusted due to time lost grieving and traveling to Oregon, then the actual packing and moving into my friend's house. Which has been a great and much-appreciated place to land but it's clear that her house is a bit over-capacity with me and Zoey and her nephew and herself all living here...I always thought she was an extrovert - and that's what she tested on the MBTI - but living with her, I now feel like she might be on the line or somewhat of an introvert. Maybe losing her husband a year ago has taken a lot out of her so that she needs more time alone, which is understandable.
In any case, I talked with her about timing and it's clear I need to move within a month, maybe a month and a half. And I was so clear and feeling so positive about finding a place that would allow me to adopt in the next few months to a year, but one of my avenues towards that just fell apart. Basically, the guy I had been talking to, who had a psychology background and had expressed openness and even interest in living with a little one, admitted last night on the phone that he probably wasn't ready to partner on a lease for a house with me. He recently moved back from Canada and is rebuilding, and renting a room is more his speed at this point. Great, guy, glad you got clear, but now I'm sort of back at square one. I had been finding a few 3-bedroom places that were in our rent range, but there are ZERO two-bedroom places in my rent range.
There is still this one option in Albany, living with a woman I met through my Transition Town work... the people currently in the house are suddenly packing up and moving to Europe but are not sure exactly when... maybe next month, but then often the landlord takes a month to turn the place over. :( It's out of my control. I know if there were a specific move date in late June or possibly even July 1, I could hold out that long at my friend's house but not any longer. The other avenue is continuing to look for a two-bedroom "suite" within a shared house, which I will go back to doing. And re-post what I'm looking for on a couple of housing boards. Late last night, I also found myself looking at jobs at the University of Oregon and the community college in Eugene. Maybe feeling so "out there" and untethered makes me want to run home.
Well, enough venting and kvetching... I want to share a couple positive things that are also happening:
- My Career Transition Success Group is moving forward and will be posted on meetup on Friday. I'm charging $247 for eight two-hour guided support sessions. I hope to get at least 6-8 women signed up at our free workshop May 20th. Please send good thoughts!
- Adoption classes are great! On the one hand, one might think these would add to my load, but actually they are buoying me up and energizing me, because I'm moving toward a deeply-desired goal.
- I went on a third date with C, the guy I went dancing with a while back and was attracted to but then chose to focus on the other guy, S, who I ended up dating for a couple months. Anyway, it was his birthday Saturday night, and we went to dinner and drinks and talked a lot and ended up making out in my car. ha! How old am I? Anyway, it was fun. He texted the next day, and I imagine I'll see him next weekend. I wish he were a little more expressive - he can be hard to read - but he holds space well for sharing and for me expressing my feelings, which feels good. And he's cute. :) He has long-ish (medium long) hair, which is unusual for me but it's nice hair - kind of blondish, thick, and wavy - and he mostly wears it pulled back, so I like it. Now the facial hair could go or at least use some shaping/trimming but that's a minor thing that could likely be influenced later. lol He's very progressive and a labor leader for the local transportation system. I have always said I need an intellectual lumberjack type, and he seems to fit that bill pretty well. But it's early, so we will see.
That's it for now. Today, I'm going to grade papers (two more weeks of the semester - yay), read books to prepare for my career workshop/class, and focus on finding housing. And try to keep pushing through...
2/06/2015
So mad at myself! And some positive news...
Starting with the negative, I am so angry at myself right now! And super sad, too. I freaking left my traveling/teaching suitcase in front of the house yesterday, and it was stolen. I remember being on my way in and stopping to pick up an extra coffee cup from the back seat. I must have set the bag down by the car... either that or on the front porch. Unfortunately, my street gets a lot of foot traffic, and apparently some loser thief walked by and snatched it up. I left for my foster/adopt meeting a couple hours later and didn't realize it was gone until I got back around 9:30pm. When I didn't see it where it normally sits, I started looking all over the house, then checked the car three or four times with gradually rising panic. Pretty soon, the reality was clear that it was gone. :(
I called the police and filed a report, checked the nearby market dumpster with the help of a kind young man, called all the nearby pawn shops and asked them to look for it, and posted flyers outside my house. I even offered $100 for it's return on the flyer. But nothing yet, and I know the odds are very low that I would get it back. There was nothing valuable to anyone else in the bag - my class textbook, handouts, student papers - but the bag itself is worth several hundred dollars. It. so. sucks.
I was so wound up and upset, I drank a stiff drink, then stayed up almost all night working on stuff for my business. Several people received emails sent at 4 or 5 a.m. lol It made me feel slightly better, I think, to be working towards building an income after just having lost something valuable.
On to the positive news... first, the date last weekend with SB started pretty rocky, as neither of us were particularly grounded (same thing happened that one night at dinner). I know this isn't sounding very positive but bear with me... I was in a bad mood after a difficult conversation with my housemate and was being a brat, and he got mad at one point when he felt I was unfairly representing his efforts to support me as, well, unsupportive. We turned around from the event we were heading towards and drove back to my neighborhood.
But... once we got back, we sat in the car talking and basically worked through it. I suggested we just be affectionate friends right now - ha - and somehow that created a sense of freedom for both of us. This wouldn't work with some people, but with me and him, I guess it took the pressure off of things needing to be "perfect." We happily traipsed off to watch the Sup.er Bowl and eat lunch/drink beer. Later, we came back to my place and ended up kissing on the couch. It was very nice! So seventh date ended up being a good one. Funny side note: he happened to be wearing a t-shirt that said the word "Seven" in big letters. I have my first date with the other guy to go dancing to a live band tonight. Feeling pretty tired but we will see how it goes.
In another bit of good news, I attended the fos.ter/adopt orientation last night and learned some helpful information:
The one piece of bad news is that they do not necessarily cover all of child care, which they used to do. There is a limited stipend, so I need to factor the remainder into my budget. I did hear that headstart offers quality, affordable childcare. Do you think that is true?
That's all for now. Mixed feelings heading into the weekend. Hope your weekend is starting on a high note.
I called the police and filed a report, checked the nearby market dumpster with the help of a kind young man, called all the nearby pawn shops and asked them to look for it, and posted flyers outside my house. I even offered $100 for it's return on the flyer. But nothing yet, and I know the odds are very low that I would get it back. There was nothing valuable to anyone else in the bag - my class textbook, handouts, student papers - but the bag itself is worth several hundred dollars. It. so. sucks.
I was so wound up and upset, I drank a stiff drink, then stayed up almost all night working on stuff for my business. Several people received emails sent at 4 or 5 a.m. lol It made me feel slightly better, I think, to be working towards building an income after just having lost something valuable.
On to the positive news... first, the date last weekend with SB started pretty rocky, as neither of us were particularly grounded (same thing happened that one night at dinner). I know this isn't sounding very positive but bear with me... I was in a bad mood after a difficult conversation with my housemate and was being a brat, and he got mad at one point when he felt I was unfairly representing his efforts to support me as, well, unsupportive. We turned around from the event we were heading towards and drove back to my neighborhood.
But... once we got back, we sat in the car talking and basically worked through it. I suggested we just be affectionate friends right now - ha - and somehow that created a sense of freedom for both of us. This wouldn't work with some people, but with me and him, I guess it took the pressure off of things needing to be "perfect." We happily traipsed off to watch the Sup.er Bowl and eat lunch/drink beer. Later, we came back to my place and ended up kissing on the couch. It was very nice! So seventh date ended up being a good one. Funny side note: he happened to be wearing a t-shirt that said the word "Seven" in big letters. I have my first date with the other guy to go dancing to a live band tonight. Feeling pretty tired but we will see how it goes.
In another bit of good news, I attended the fos.ter/adopt orientation last night and learned some helpful information:
- Confirmation that a child 0-2 years could be placed with me in my current living situation.
- The mandatory 4-week training in Oakland fits perfectly with my schedule. It starts in April - after my February/March client attraction weekend intensives - and will be Tues/Thurs evenings a couple hours after finishing work at the college.
- One of the trainers told me that once I am certified to adopt, I can register and create profiles with different counties, which expands the number of possible children I might be matched with.
- It is nice to have checklists of tasks and steps so as to feel like I am moving forward towards the goal.
The one piece of bad news is that they do not necessarily cover all of child care, which they used to do. There is a limited stipend, so I need to factor the remainder into my budget. I did hear that headstart offers quality, affordable childcare. Do you think that is true?
That's all for now. Mixed feelings heading into the weekend. Hope your weekend is starting on a high note.
1/23/2015
Stepping Out on Faith
So, I have a dating report... as well as a report on my hotshot "client attraction" workshop last weekend. And a couple other tidbits of info. Some developments require me to show faith...
Dating has been up and down. I went out a couple more times with the guy I mentioned before. He spontaneously came to my 'hood to watch the college National Championship game (booo Ohio State). I was really sad when things took a turn against Oregon, but c'est la vie. I think more emotions come up for me because of the connection with home and family. In any case, things became awkward again. I think he's sort of co-dependent in his response to things in that he tries to fix them right away or just tries too hard in general. But then again maybe I am comparing him to my family culture in which my parents don't try much at all. It brings up my anxiety and I want to tell him to just chill out. On the other hand, I appreciate that he doesn't run away when things get awkward or tense, and the kissing continues to be good.
Last week, we met for drinks. The bar was packed and distracting. I found myself checking out another guy - that's not a good sign is it? He wasn't making very good conversation, but then again, neither was I. It's weird because we had such a good conversation the first time we went out; maybe I keep wanting to experience that again. So, yeah, somewhat awkward and confusing again, then good kissing at the end. This week, he seems to have taken a step back, which works to make me a bit more interested (annoying this works, but it does). We have both genuinely been busy and were supposed to get together Monday, but I bailed because my energy was super low after the weekend workshop and I needed to catch up and recharge. Then we were supposed to have a phone convo, and he bailed. Last night, he asked me out for Saturday. I guess I will go and see if fourth time is a charm? What do you think?
I have also been interacting (sending "likes" etc.) and emailing with other guys from the online site. There is one guy who seems very interesting who actually lives in my area. He "liked" me and I reciprocated... I am waiting to see if he sends a message. If I don't hear from him in a couple days, I might extend the first message. I don't have rules about that kind of thing. From what I have heard, I think here in the Bay Area, it is very common for women to initiate contact. So, I'll keep you posted.
The weekend workshop! was! amazing! Presented by the "Thrive Academy," it was three full days packed with useful information and personal growth activities aimed at increasing your confidence and skills as a holistic practitioner/coach/counselor in terms of marketing yourself and attracting clients. Friday night, I had this big breakthrough in this exercise where you hold your chair up (it symbolizes the weight of your fears and barriers) and do this visualization imagining yourself going along as you have for the rest of your life and basically not breaking out of your self-imposed cage to experience freedom and your full potential. Part of it was calling in your "power animal" which is not new to me, as I have been part of women's groups with a Native American focus, and have had many dreams, as well, in which mountain lions (and other powerful) cats have come to me. So in the visualization, when he asked us to call in our power animal, the mountain lion was right there for me and it was so powerful to break out of the cage and limiting beliefs, which were tied to family and self worth.
I admit that exercise and others, as well as connecting with a few awesome people - part of the "magic" of the program is mutual support and community - and hearing about the proven results, combined to hook me. I signed up for their year-long client attraction mastery program! I can attend four weekend intensives this year, should I choose. I am definitely attending in February and March. It's nice because they are just during the day, then I can come home and recharge and care for Zoey at night. I have already started working the steps of the program and have set up my first coaching call. I intend to attract several new clients by the end of February, which will allow me to continue working part-time at the college AND earning a higher-level income to experience more abundance and choice - including foster/adopt and a larger living space (either through renting this entire two-bedroom house or moving). I am both scared and very excited. Please send me good thoughts!
Speaking of the foster/adopt program, after the packet got lost over Christmas, I finally received it a week ago and spoke with someone on the phone this week. I plan to attend the orientation in February and likely begin the four-Saturday Pride training in April, after my two client attraction workshops in February/March. I think I mentioned that I completed a similar training when I lived in San Luis Obis.po, but that was several years ago (they require more current attendance). An April training schedule will give me time to increase my work with clients and prepare. The good news is that I could foster a child under two-years old with only one bedroom. But it's a bit risky because if they turn three during the placement, I would have to move immediately. I really would prefer to foster/adopt an infant, though, so maybe it is "meant to be" to begin this way.
That's all the news for now. Hope your year is starting with many blessings.
Dating has been up and down. I went out a couple more times with the guy I mentioned before. He spontaneously came to my 'hood to watch the college National Championship game (booo Ohio State). I was really sad when things took a turn against Oregon, but c'est la vie. I think more emotions come up for me because of the connection with home and family. In any case, things became awkward again. I think he's sort of co-dependent in his response to things in that he tries to fix them right away or just tries too hard in general. But then again maybe I am comparing him to my family culture in which my parents don't try much at all. It brings up my anxiety and I want to tell him to just chill out. On the other hand, I appreciate that he doesn't run away when things get awkward or tense, and the kissing continues to be good.
Last week, we met for drinks. The bar was packed and distracting. I found myself checking out another guy - that's not a good sign is it? He wasn't making very good conversation, but then again, neither was I. It's weird because we had such a good conversation the first time we went out; maybe I keep wanting to experience that again. So, yeah, somewhat awkward and confusing again, then good kissing at the end. This week, he seems to have taken a step back, which works to make me a bit more interested (annoying this works, but it does). We have both genuinely been busy and were supposed to get together Monday, but I bailed because my energy was super low after the weekend workshop and I needed to catch up and recharge. Then we were supposed to have a phone convo, and he bailed. Last night, he asked me out for Saturday. I guess I will go and see if fourth time is a charm? What do you think?
I have also been interacting (sending "likes" etc.) and emailing with other guys from the online site. There is one guy who seems very interesting who actually lives in my area. He "liked" me and I reciprocated... I am waiting to see if he sends a message. If I don't hear from him in a couple days, I might extend the first message. I don't have rules about that kind of thing. From what I have heard, I think here in the Bay Area, it is very common for women to initiate contact. So, I'll keep you posted.
The weekend workshop! was! amazing! Presented by the "Thrive Academy," it was three full days packed with useful information and personal growth activities aimed at increasing your confidence and skills as a holistic practitioner/coach/counselor in terms of marketing yourself and attracting clients. Friday night, I had this big breakthrough in this exercise where you hold your chair up (it symbolizes the weight of your fears and barriers) and do this visualization imagining yourself going along as you have for the rest of your life and basically not breaking out of your self-imposed cage to experience freedom and your full potential. Part of it was calling in your "power animal" which is not new to me, as I have been part of women's groups with a Native American focus, and have had many dreams, as well, in which mountain lions (and other powerful) cats have come to me. So in the visualization, when he asked us to call in our power animal, the mountain lion was right there for me and it was so powerful to break out of the cage and limiting beliefs, which were tied to family and self worth.
I admit that exercise and others, as well as connecting with a few awesome people - part of the "magic" of the program is mutual support and community - and hearing about the proven results, combined to hook me. I signed up for their year-long client attraction mastery program! I can attend four weekend intensives this year, should I choose. I am definitely attending in February and March. It's nice because they are just during the day, then I can come home and recharge and care for Zoey at night. I have already started working the steps of the program and have set up my first coaching call. I intend to attract several new clients by the end of February, which will allow me to continue working part-time at the college AND earning a higher-level income to experience more abundance and choice - including foster/adopt and a larger living space (either through renting this entire two-bedroom house or moving). I am both scared and very excited. Please send me good thoughts!
Speaking of the foster/adopt program, after the packet got lost over Christmas, I finally received it a week ago and spoke with someone on the phone this week. I plan to attend the orientation in February and likely begin the four-Saturday Pride training in April, after my two client attraction workshops in February/March. I think I mentioned that I completed a similar training when I lived in San Luis Obis.po, but that was several years ago (they require more current attendance). An April training schedule will give me time to increase my work with clients and prepare. The good news is that I could foster a child under two-years old with only one bedroom. But it's a bit risky because if they turn three during the placement, I would have to move immediately. I really would prefer to foster/adopt an infant, though, so maybe it is "meant to be" to begin this way.
That's all the news for now. Hope your year is starting with many blessings.
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