So I spoke with my doctor on Monday, and she solved the bleeding mystery. Unfortunately, it wasn't the best case scenario I'd hoped for, but it wasn't the worst case scenario either.
She said I have a polyp in the uterine lining that has disrupted the natural formation and shedding cycle; thus, the odd spotting/bleeding. Additionally, I have two small fibroids, one outside the uterus and one inside that are, I guess, re-growing since my surgery a few years ago. Boo.
The good news is that I can get all that taken care off with a hysteroscopy, at the same time I get the uterine biopsy. Just now, in this moment, the question arises for me as to "why" I still need the biopsy if we have determined the reason for the problems. But I guess it's a good idea to play it safe.
I'm going to the medical center today to sign the consent and pick up the medications, then the outpatient procedure is scheduled for the 12th. RC will be here that week and can be my ride, as I'll be kind of out of it.
I wonder if I can go to work the following day? Anyone know? I think I had a biopsy a long time ago but I don't remember, and this is also removing the polyp and fibroids. She said there might be some cramping, but I go home right after the procedure.
There was a question as to whether my lining would be "too thick" when they do the procedure. As mentioned the (less than stellar) doctor I originally saw put me on progesterone until last Friday. It worked perfectly, as it stopped the spotting and when I went off it, my full period came four days later.
But apparently, there would ideally be less time between my cycle ending and date of the procedure. There was "no way" that I was going back on progesterone, however, as it just about drove me, and RC, insane. We did move the procedure up a few days from Friday to Monday, though, and she seemed to think that would be okay.
That's the latest news...please send good thoughts that this procedure goes well and I can put this whole "interesting" health journey behind me. I'm sooo glad the wicked month of January is over, and I am looking forward to my training next week and RC's visit and I guess just generally getting my health and life stabilized again.
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
2/01/2018
1/27/2018
Developments: Body, Business, Baby, Boyfriend
As I mentioned in my last post, I had been having off and on spotting but not a true cycle for over a month, so after a visit to the doctor, I was put on progesterone tablets to try and reboot my cycle. My last day on these pills was yesterday, thank God.
It is an understatement to say my mood was affected. At one point, I said to RC on the phone, "I'm just so angry!" lol Several times, I've become bent out of shape about things that normally would be no big deal. Poor RC. And on top of that, I haven't had energy to do anything but go to work and come home and do a chore here and there when I have to.
The good news is, I am done with the pills, and they did work as far as stopping the bleeding immediately after I began taking them. I had an ultrasound yesterday, but I don't get to know the results until I talk to the doctor early next week. She measured a lot of things, including from what I could see pretty large follicles.
Hopefully I'll get a full cycle in a few days. Fingers crossed. I really hope I don't have fibroids redeveloping. Best case scenario, maybe it was a a cyst coupled with stress and some hormone imbalance causing the problems.
I do have some work developments to report. As background, when we started back this semester, I asked my program director what were the chances that I would have a counseling job in the program next fall. I asked her because last semester we found out that my college would no longer be paying for college counselors in the program. I had heard she was looking for other ways to pay for counseling, but these would likely involve high school district funding, not college. She replied that there would be maybe a 35% chance of my employment in the fall.
Well, needless to say that was not reassuring, and I began talking to RC about some different options like considering a move to Oregon or to Austin where his family lives. It was actually kind of exciting to consider these possibilities, and I even applied for a couple of jobs in these cities.
But then suddenly life, as it can do, took a turn. I got a call from my college counseling department chair, and she proceeded to offer me three classes to teach in the fall! Two Introduction to Career Counseling courses and one College Survival Skills course. I had bid on a lot of classes, but considering I'm still fairly new to the college and hadn't had luck bidding before, I didn't expect to be offered anything. Then, to be offered three was shocking!
Of course, I.immediately said yes, knowing I could change my mind later. But I don't think that will happen unless I were offered a job somewhere else. Plus, it supports my continued adoption efforts in this area versus starting over.
Speaking of adoption efforts, I have received no further news of being submitted for a match, since my social worker submitted me for a an 18-month boy at the beginning of this month. That was an exciting couple of days until I heard I was not chosen.
There are a couple events coming up, however, that I'm looking forward to. The first one is an adoption fair next Thursday in a town about an hour and a half south. My worker will be there and said she would bring the home study/family packets I can share with county representatives.
The second one is a training February 9th through my agency called, "Nurtured Heart Training." I generally enjoy trainings and want to learn as much as I can, so I'm looking forward to it.
RC has completed and submitted all his paperwork, which means if a child was suddenly placed with me, he can stay in the same house and even watch the child if needed. We have ventured into talking about what it might be like if he moved up here this summer and stayed with me in my place for a while. It would be challenging for sure, and he would definitely need to put a lot of stuff in storage.
But talking through it, it would be possible I think, at least in the shorter term of a year or two. If we didn't live several hours apart, we might wait a little longer, but all things considered, neither of us enjoy the long drives and a long distance relationship isn't sustainable. Yikes! We'll see...
It is an understatement to say my mood was affected. At one point, I said to RC on the phone, "I'm just so angry!" lol Several times, I've become bent out of shape about things that normally would be no big deal. Poor RC. And on top of that, I haven't had energy to do anything but go to work and come home and do a chore here and there when I have to.
The good news is, I am done with the pills, and they did work as far as stopping the bleeding immediately after I began taking them. I had an ultrasound yesterday, but I don't get to know the results until I talk to the doctor early next week. She measured a lot of things, including from what I could see pretty large follicles.
Hopefully I'll get a full cycle in a few days. Fingers crossed. I really hope I don't have fibroids redeveloping. Best case scenario, maybe it was a a cyst coupled with stress and some hormone imbalance causing the problems.
I do have some work developments to report. As background, when we started back this semester, I asked my program director what were the chances that I would have a counseling job in the program next fall. I asked her because last semester we found out that my college would no longer be paying for college counselors in the program. I had heard she was looking for other ways to pay for counseling, but these would likely involve high school district funding, not college. She replied that there would be maybe a 35% chance of my employment in the fall.
Well, needless to say that was not reassuring, and I began talking to RC about some different options like considering a move to Oregon or to Austin where his family lives. It was actually kind of exciting to consider these possibilities, and I even applied for a couple of jobs in these cities.
But then suddenly life, as it can do, took a turn. I got a call from my college counseling department chair, and she proceeded to offer me three classes to teach in the fall! Two Introduction to Career Counseling courses and one College Survival Skills course. I had bid on a lot of classes, but considering I'm still fairly new to the college and hadn't had luck bidding before, I didn't expect to be offered anything. Then, to be offered three was shocking!
Of course, I.immediately said yes, knowing I could change my mind later. But I don't think that will happen unless I were offered a job somewhere else. Plus, it supports my continued adoption efforts in this area versus starting over.
Speaking of adoption efforts, I have received no further news of being submitted for a match, since my social worker submitted me for a an 18-month boy at the beginning of this month. That was an exciting couple of days until I heard I was not chosen.
There are a couple events coming up, however, that I'm looking forward to. The first one is an adoption fair next Thursday in a town about an hour and a half south. My worker will be there and said she would bring the home study/family packets I can share with county representatives.
The second one is a training February 9th through my agency called, "Nurtured Heart Training." I generally enjoy trainings and want to learn as much as I can, so I'm looking forward to it.
RC has completed and submitted all his paperwork, which means if a child was suddenly placed with me, he can stay in the same house and even watch the child if needed. We have ventured into talking about what it might be like if he moved up here this summer and stayed with me in my place for a while. It would be challenging for sure, and he would definitely need to put a lot of stuff in storage.
But talking through it, it would be possible I think, at least in the shorter term of a year or two. If we didn't live several hours apart, we might wait a little longer, but all things considered, neither of us enjoy the long drives and a long distance relationship isn't sustainable. Yikes! We'll see...
1/15/2018
Wrapping Up and Moving Forward
Sometimes I can't believe how time flies by! I'm ready to be done talking about the holidays, but I do want to write a brief record of RC and my final days of holiday break here where I live, and also share a couple more recent happenings...
After Christmas-time in Oregon, it felt good to get here and relax more and make our own schedule. We walked around downtown, as we like to do, and one afternoon, we went to the sanctuary/recreation area where he had spread his families ashes. It was much different this time, with lots of folks walking around the long, scenic circular pathway, so we - RC, Zoey, and I - joined in and began walking and talking.
After a while, we got into some deeper conversation about the prospect of my adopting a child. Every time this comes up, I feel him lean into it and really seem interested and "with" me in the journey. This feels wonderful. Although I was and am prepared to move forward alone, I've always felt I would do better as a parent with a partner. Partly because of being introverted and partly because I'm not a super organized, decisive person. I think I would benefit from collaborative decision making and sharing the logistics. In any case, so far, I feel good about our conversations.
He asked about what would be required of him as far as background check, finger printing, etc., and I said I would ask my social worker. I did ask her later and forwarded the information and forms for finger printing, TB and health checkup to him. He has a doctor's appointment scheduled for a week or two and has taken the next steps to complete the background check, as well.
The last holiday experience I want to share is New Year's Eve... We went shopping, watched some TV, and took a nap, then got ready and headed down to an oyster bar we had been wanting to try. We ordered this delicious fresh seafood tray, with four types of oysters, uber-fresh shrimp, salmon, and a couple other types of raw or smoked fish. So good! Accompanied by some yummy Pinot. It felt romantic, too, as we sat at the bar and held hands under the counter.
Afterwards, we went home and spent some meaningful time on a NYE ritual of releasing the old and welcoming in the new. We did some writing and discussed these things in-depth, especially our goals for the new year. We even made some goal cards and set the intention to read them every night and chip away at them, creating new goals when these are complete. We also drank a glass of super expensive Cab - not so great! That was the only disappointing part of the evening. Price often leads to most yummy with wine, but not always. We ended the evening listening to bands on TV and watching the ball drop.
In the big picture, everything is not perfect, but so far, I'm feeling really good about moving forward. Occasionally, I seem to hit an "intimacy wall," where I feel overwhelmed. This has happened two or three times now, and he has been able to hear me and talk through it, without escalating or withdrawing, like what used to happen with my ex. Having someone new in my space, with all that entails, can feel overwhelming to the senses. I'm sure this is partly due to the fact that I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person), which means being extra sensitive to lights, smells, sounds, energy, etc. So, having lots of "foreign" sensory input from someone other than myself can feel scary sometimes. I think fear of intimacy because of my past can at times heighten these sensitivities. So far, we've been able to navigate this well. I'm strongly attracted to him and being physically playful is fun!
Since he left, we have resumed our daily texting and talking on the phone a couple times a week, sometimes more. A new development is that when something significant happens, he is the first person I want to call. When I call, he's usually available and I appreciate the support and being able to talk through things. He has especially been there for me through one particular ongoing development...
As some of you know, I had a bleeding event over the holidays; basically bleeding off an on for a month. He was my partner through that, including a short time when we even considered we might be pregnant (it was not rational, as those who have gone through infertility know about), and when I went to the doctor and had an upsetting experience with an attempted non-medicated uterine biopsy, he was there to support me.
As an update, I have an ultrasound scheduled for the 23rd to check on my lining (and see if I had a cyst) and a phone call with the doctor calendared soon after. I'm taking progesterone for three weeks to hopefully "reboot" my body, fingers crossed. If the doctor - MY doctor not the one I scheduled through Kaiser online - affirms I need a uterine biopsy, you can bet I'm getting all the good drugs I can. A friend said they won't prescribe drugs for those in her state. WTF?! Not okay. I won't get started, but my strong belief is that if we can prevent or mediate pain, we absolutely should, unless there is a compelling reason the patient chooses not to.
There are some developments with work and plans that RC and I are considering, including upcoming trips, but I'll share more about those in another post. For today, I am appreciating this three-day weekend and catching up on laundry and sleep.
After Christmas-time in Oregon, it felt good to get here and relax more and make our own schedule. We walked around downtown, as we like to do, and one afternoon, we went to the sanctuary/recreation area where he had spread his families ashes. It was much different this time, with lots of folks walking around the long, scenic circular pathway, so we - RC, Zoey, and I - joined in and began walking and talking.
After a while, we got into some deeper conversation about the prospect of my adopting a child. Every time this comes up, I feel him lean into it and really seem interested and "with" me in the journey. This feels wonderful. Although I was and am prepared to move forward alone, I've always felt I would do better as a parent with a partner. Partly because of being introverted and partly because I'm not a super organized, decisive person. I think I would benefit from collaborative decision making and sharing the logistics. In any case, so far, I feel good about our conversations.
He asked about what would be required of him as far as background check, finger printing, etc., and I said I would ask my social worker. I did ask her later and forwarded the information and forms for finger printing, TB and health checkup to him. He has a doctor's appointment scheduled for a week or two and has taken the next steps to complete the background check, as well.
The last holiday experience I want to share is New Year's Eve... We went shopping, watched some TV, and took a nap, then got ready and headed down to an oyster bar we had been wanting to try. We ordered this delicious fresh seafood tray, with four types of oysters, uber-fresh shrimp, salmon, and a couple other types of raw or smoked fish. So good! Accompanied by some yummy Pinot. It felt romantic, too, as we sat at the bar and held hands under the counter.
Afterwards, we went home and spent some meaningful time on a NYE ritual of releasing the old and welcoming in the new. We did some writing and discussed these things in-depth, especially our goals for the new year. We even made some goal cards and set the intention to read them every night and chip away at them, creating new goals when these are complete. We also drank a glass of super expensive Cab - not so great! That was the only disappointing part of the evening. Price often leads to most yummy with wine, but not always. We ended the evening listening to bands on TV and watching the ball drop.
In the big picture, everything is not perfect, but so far, I'm feeling really good about moving forward. Occasionally, I seem to hit an "intimacy wall," where I feel overwhelmed. This has happened two or three times now, and he has been able to hear me and talk through it, without escalating or withdrawing, like what used to happen with my ex. Having someone new in my space, with all that entails, can feel overwhelming to the senses. I'm sure this is partly due to the fact that I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person), which means being extra sensitive to lights, smells, sounds, energy, etc. So, having lots of "foreign" sensory input from someone other than myself can feel scary sometimes. I think fear of intimacy because of my past can at times heighten these sensitivities. So far, we've been able to navigate this well. I'm strongly attracted to him and being physically playful is fun!
Since he left, we have resumed our daily texting and talking on the phone a couple times a week, sometimes more. A new development is that when something significant happens, he is the first person I want to call. When I call, he's usually available and I appreciate the support and being able to talk through things. He has especially been there for me through one particular ongoing development...
As some of you know, I had a bleeding event over the holidays; basically bleeding off an on for a month. He was my partner through that, including a short time when we even considered we might be pregnant (it was not rational, as those who have gone through infertility know about), and when I went to the doctor and had an upsetting experience with an attempted non-medicated uterine biopsy, he was there to support me.
As an update, I have an ultrasound scheduled for the 23rd to check on my lining (and see if I had a cyst) and a phone call with the doctor calendared soon after. I'm taking progesterone for three weeks to hopefully "reboot" my body, fingers crossed. If the doctor - MY doctor not the one I scheduled through Kaiser online - affirms I need a uterine biopsy, you can bet I'm getting all the good drugs I can. A friend said they won't prescribe drugs for those in her state. WTF?! Not okay. I won't get started, but my strong belief is that if we can prevent or mediate pain, we absolutely should, unless there is a compelling reason the patient chooses not to.
There are some developments with work and plans that RC and I are considering, including upcoming trips, but I'll share more about those in another post. For today, I am appreciating this three-day weekend and catching up on laundry and sleep.
9/28/2015
Moving Forward in Fits and Starts
Everything was moved in on Saturday, and now I have the daunting task of unpacking or storing all the boxes. It's interesting to me that I survived the last several months without any of these items, which shows they are not vital to my life. Useful in many cases, yes. Aesthetically pleasing sometimes, yes, but not necessary. I will admit after all the protests from my housemate about using "her stuff," it does feel good to move all "my stuff" into the dining room and kitchen. I am back to having an abundance of cups and bowls, versus just the few I bought at the dollar store.
At the moment, housemate and I are getting along in a civil fashion. Major drama erupted last Thursday, though, when I let her know late night that S might stay over and leave early in the morning for work. He was wrapping up a conference and had been out with colleagues and I, admittedly after having a glass of wine, thought it would be nice to cuddle, especially since we have been talking about staying over but haven't crossed that line yet. I texted her as a courtesy but realize now it was something we needed to talk about first. I was thinking it would be unobtrusive and they wouldn't even see each other, but we do have a shared bathroom.
I think a reasonable response from her might have been saying that she felt it was something that needed to be discussed first and didn't want to be informed right before something was going to happen. Then, asking me if I could change plans because she really wasn't comfortable with it. Instead what happened is she turned into a toddler or teenage, I'm not sure which, and started cussing me out and yelling at me. It was pretty crazy, and I felt really overwhelmed. I knew if S came over, things would escalate further, so I got a hold of him and cancelled. I made it very clear to her later that the name calling/cussing at me was unacceptable, and I did not want it to happen again. I also apologized for not discussing it with her first. We have since negotiated a couple things, including sharing the living room and S coming over perhaps one night a week on a night she is not there (she stays at her daughter's house two nights a week). Feeling okay about it right now, but admit I questioned my choice to stay here after she blew up.
S has a couple of key appointments with doctors today, so please send good thoughts. He hopes to start this round of treatment as soon as possible, so it - and I think the surgery, as well - will be done by Christmas break. We have been talking about diet and supplements that will support his treatments and healing. This article was interesting to me, in that it doesn't talk a lot about diet. It says the most important factors are stress, exercise, staying away from mold, helping others, and levels of Vitamin D. What do you think? Apparently, this doc has studied these factors for over 30 years. I did find a good cookbook along these lines, as well, and plan to use that.
We had a great time Saturday night after he helped me move in. A friend of mine from the EOL leadership program I did - ironically right after we broke up - was having a 70th birthday party, replete with an Indian feast. So, we had a drink ahead of time and caught up on our weeks, which was really nice, then headed over and had a lovely evening connecting with conscious, compassionate people and participating in sharing memories and recognizing my friend. I usually get very nervous to give speeches, even informal ones in front of nice people, but I had some liquid courage at that point, and I think I did pretty well. :)
Tonight, we are going to the Gi@nts game with one of S's work friends and his girlfriend. S said she's a little odd, so we'll see how things go. It would be nice to have "couple" friends to do things with. We've never had that before, other than with our siblings.
At the moment, housemate and I are getting along in a civil fashion. Major drama erupted last Thursday, though, when I let her know late night that S might stay over and leave early in the morning for work. He was wrapping up a conference and had been out with colleagues and I, admittedly after having a glass of wine, thought it would be nice to cuddle, especially since we have been talking about staying over but haven't crossed that line yet. I texted her as a courtesy but realize now it was something we needed to talk about first. I was thinking it would be unobtrusive and they wouldn't even see each other, but we do have a shared bathroom.
I think a reasonable response from her might have been saying that she felt it was something that needed to be discussed first and didn't want to be informed right before something was going to happen. Then, asking me if I could change plans because she really wasn't comfortable with it. Instead what happened is she turned into a toddler or teenage, I'm not sure which, and started cussing me out and yelling at me. It was pretty crazy, and I felt really overwhelmed. I knew if S came over, things would escalate further, so I got a hold of him and cancelled. I made it very clear to her later that the name calling/cussing at me was unacceptable, and I did not want it to happen again. I also apologized for not discussing it with her first. We have since negotiated a couple things, including sharing the living room and S coming over perhaps one night a week on a night she is not there (she stays at her daughter's house two nights a week). Feeling okay about it right now, but admit I questioned my choice to stay here after she blew up.
S has a couple of key appointments with doctors today, so please send good thoughts. He hopes to start this round of treatment as soon as possible, so it - and I think the surgery, as well - will be done by Christmas break. We have been talking about diet and supplements that will support his treatments and healing. This article was interesting to me, in that it doesn't talk a lot about diet. It says the most important factors are stress, exercise, staying away from mold, helping others, and levels of Vitamin D. What do you think? Apparently, this doc has studied these factors for over 30 years. I did find a good cookbook along these lines, as well, and plan to use that.
We had a great time Saturday night after he helped me move in. A friend of mine from the EOL leadership program I did - ironically right after we broke up - was having a 70th birthday party, replete with an Indian feast. So, we had a drink ahead of time and caught up on our weeks, which was really nice, then headed over and had a lovely evening connecting with conscious, compassionate people and participating in sharing memories and recognizing my friend. I usually get very nervous to give speeches, even informal ones in front of nice people, but I had some liquid courage at that point, and I think I did pretty well. :)
Tonight, we are going to the Gi@nts game with one of S's work friends and his girlfriend. S said she's a little odd, so we'll see how things go. It would be nice to have "couple" friends to do things with. We've never had that before, other than with our siblings.
5/10/2014
Mega-Stressful Week
Happy May, Everyone!
I just got through a mega-stressful week with my counseling interview Wednesday. I was so stressed and nervous and had to acknowledge it in the interview when my hand was shaking when I took a drink of water. The content included normal interview-type questions, plus a role play, plus a 10-minute teaching demonstration. I practiced the teaching demonstration a lot - it was on one of my favorite subjects, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality assessment - and think that I did quite well on that part. I felt I rocked the questions, too... but the role play? Not so much. I just plain didn't understand the setup and that I was supposed to look up information and make a sample Education Plan ahead of time. So, in the interview, I was deprived of a catalog and obviously didn't have access to a computer to look up information, which is completely unnatural and not a fair representation of my abilities. I'm kicking myself because I know NOW what I should have done and wish I could go back. Oh well. I did as well as I could without knowing the specific class information.
I think regardless of what happens, it was a good idea that I applied and interviewed because: 1. They know I care about the job and have ambition; and 2. I got some good practice should I choose to apply again. Also, through working with the counselors this semester in students services (as CTE counselors, we worked in a separate building across campus from student services), the interview process, and then today working as a team on the annual Super Saturday registration event on our campus, I feel a sense of belonging and like I am getting to know people better and feel more comfortable around them. That makes work more fun!
The week was also stressful because it was the last week of normal class for the course I'm teaching, and I crammed almost 30 student presentations into two days. It was intense, but also kinda fun. Oh, and I was skating on financial fumes because so many bills came through last month. Thank God, it was the last EOL payment!
In positive financial news, I think I mentioned I'm going to get quite a few hours this summer, and I'll also be teaching three Counseling orientation classes, which are either taught over two shorter days or one long day. It will be nice to make more money, aided by the fact I do not have to pay my almost $400/mo healthcare payment over the summer months, as it's divided over the rest of the year when they know people are working. Many people don't work in the summer and the campus will be more quiet. I'm looking forward to the more mellow atmosphere. I'm nervous to teach the orientations, which I've not taught before, but I sat in on another colleagues class which helped. And it's only one or two days - 6 hours - so how bad could it be? I have a PowerPoint I can fall back on if need be and I can do some fun interactive activities, as well. Okay, thanks for listening as I talked myself into it! :-)
After my class is over, at the end of this month over Memorial Day weekend, I'm going to drive up to Oregon again with Zoey. As usual, I can't wait to see my nieces and nephew, who I can tell from pictures have grown a LOT. My littlest niece has reddish/strawberry blonde hair and is such a little cutie. And my older niece and nephew are playing sports and looked darling participating in a recent Easter egg hunt. My mom is soldiering through her chemo appointments. Twice now she's had to go in the hospital when her temperature spiked. I guess on chemo it's easy to get sick and much more dangerous if you do. She was in for at least a week this last time but is now home. She and my dad actually went to stay at a special hotel and go wine tasting for their 40th anniversary this weekend.
I kind of miss my EOL program, but my local "pod" got together this last Monday at one of the women's house and caught up with each other, made some art/creative scenes (like visualizing what you want), and ate dinner. It was nice. There are more events on the horizon, including a reunion get-together on June 7th up in Sonoma and a book group that starting up.
I'm still working with my last-assigned "buddy," K, exchanging mini-coaching sessions every two weeks. So that helps keep my feet in the water. I'm trying to motivate to eat and drink more consciously and up the health factor another degree. I would like to drink kombucha instead of Diet Coke, but I will say that it's a hell of a lot more expensive! He's also supporting me in envisioning the relationship I want to have with my Dad, as well as with my birth Mom. Even though she passed away when I was young, I love the idea of creating space to connect with her and feel gratitude for all she gave me and the special relationship we shared - I think it would be really valuable for me to be able to tap into that on a regular basis. He is a very sweet and loving guy, and I think I am supporting him, as well, through helping him with a work transition, his relationship with his pregnant fiance, and sharing coaching/career counseling tools.
I have a f#*kload of student papers to grade before Tuesday. Wish me luck! I do have a nice brunch scheduled for tomorrow with a friend. Hope you all are having a fun weekend.
I just got through a mega-stressful week with my counseling interview Wednesday. I was so stressed and nervous and had to acknowledge it in the interview when my hand was shaking when I took a drink of water. The content included normal interview-type questions, plus a role play, plus a 10-minute teaching demonstration. I practiced the teaching demonstration a lot - it was on one of my favorite subjects, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality assessment - and think that I did quite well on that part. I felt I rocked the questions, too... but the role play? Not so much. I just plain didn't understand the setup and that I was supposed to look up information and make a sample Education Plan ahead of time. So, in the interview, I was deprived of a catalog and obviously didn't have access to a computer to look up information, which is completely unnatural and not a fair representation of my abilities. I'm kicking myself because I know NOW what I should have done and wish I could go back. Oh well. I did as well as I could without knowing the specific class information.
I think regardless of what happens, it was a good idea that I applied and interviewed because: 1. They know I care about the job and have ambition; and 2. I got some good practice should I choose to apply again. Also, through working with the counselors this semester in students services (as CTE counselors, we worked in a separate building across campus from student services), the interview process, and then today working as a team on the annual Super Saturday registration event on our campus, I feel a sense of belonging and like I am getting to know people better and feel more comfortable around them. That makes work more fun!
The week was also stressful because it was the last week of normal class for the course I'm teaching, and I crammed almost 30 student presentations into two days. It was intense, but also kinda fun. Oh, and I was skating on financial fumes because so many bills came through last month. Thank God, it was the last EOL payment!
In positive financial news, I think I mentioned I'm going to get quite a few hours this summer, and I'll also be teaching three Counseling orientation classes, which are either taught over two shorter days or one long day. It will be nice to make more money, aided by the fact I do not have to pay my almost $400/mo healthcare payment over the summer months, as it's divided over the rest of the year when they know people are working. Many people don't work in the summer and the campus will be more quiet. I'm looking forward to the more mellow atmosphere. I'm nervous to teach the orientations, which I've not taught before, but I sat in on another colleagues class which helped. And it's only one or two days - 6 hours - so how bad could it be? I have a PowerPoint I can fall back on if need be and I can do some fun interactive activities, as well. Okay, thanks for listening as I talked myself into it! :-)
After my class is over, at the end of this month over Memorial Day weekend, I'm going to drive up to Oregon again with Zoey. As usual, I can't wait to see my nieces and nephew, who I can tell from pictures have grown a LOT. My littlest niece has reddish/strawberry blonde hair and is such a little cutie. And my older niece and nephew are playing sports and looked darling participating in a recent Easter egg hunt. My mom is soldiering through her chemo appointments. Twice now she's had to go in the hospital when her temperature spiked. I guess on chemo it's easy to get sick and much more dangerous if you do. She was in for at least a week this last time but is now home. She and my dad actually went to stay at a special hotel and go wine tasting for their 40th anniversary this weekend.
I kind of miss my EOL program, but my local "pod" got together this last Monday at one of the women's house and caught up with each other, made some art/creative scenes (like visualizing what you want), and ate dinner. It was nice. There are more events on the horizon, including a reunion get-together on June 7th up in Sonoma and a book group that starting up.
I'm still working with my last-assigned "buddy," K, exchanging mini-coaching sessions every two weeks. So that helps keep my feet in the water. I'm trying to motivate to eat and drink more consciously and up the health factor another degree. I would like to drink kombucha instead of Diet Coke, but I will say that it's a hell of a lot more expensive! He's also supporting me in envisioning the relationship I want to have with my Dad, as well as with my birth Mom. Even though she passed away when I was young, I love the idea of creating space to connect with her and feel gratitude for all she gave me and the special relationship we shared - I think it would be really valuable for me to be able to tap into that on a regular basis. He is a very sweet and loving guy, and I think I am supporting him, as well, through helping him with a work transition, his relationship with his pregnant fiance, and sharing coaching/career counseling tools.
I have a f#*kload of student papers to grade before Tuesday. Wish me luck! I do have a nice brunch scheduled for tomorrow with a friend. Hope you all are having a fun weekend.
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