Good News and Rockin' CM

I have some good news!

I responded well to the 225 dose of Menopur and have five mature follicles!  Well, one of them is on the small side at 15mm, but the rest are 17-21mm.  I self-administered the trigger shot right there around 10:30am in the doctor's office.  S and I will be back there bright and early tomorrow morning - he will do his part at 8:15 and I'll close with the IUI at 10:15.  Maybe we'll have breakfast in SF in between appointments.

This cycle has been different than my other injectable cycles in so many ways:  first, I actually had to have two monitoring appointments before triggering, whereas I've only gotten to one in the past before my follicles ballooned up.  Second, I had follicles growing and keeping pace on both ovaries, when previously I had the synchronization problem and ended up triggering with only a couple of them mature.  Third, I'm doing the IUI on day 11... I'll have to go back and look, but I think that's at least a day or two later than previously.   Soooo, fingers crossed.

The other odd thing I wanted to share - which really may be TMI, and I will not be offended if you tune out now - is that, for the first time ever, I had the experience of egg-white CM literally "falling out" of me!  I had read about this in books but never experienced it.  On Tuesday night, as I was getting dressed after showering, I felt something, reached down, and caught it.  Yep, the stringy, egg-white stuff.  Crazy!  I was told it's presence is simply due to increased estrogen from multiple follicles, but, despite this scientific explanation, it still seems like a good sign.  S and I BD'd that night and Thursday night for good measure, so I guess it went to a small bit of use.  Does anyone know if CM matters at all with IUIs?  I'm thinking no... maybe just that my estrogen level is good?

Anyway, hope you all have a good weekend.  It's getting hot here; at least hot for Nor-Cal.

p.s. Congratulations to Jenny at Sprout!!!  Her and J's little guy, Seamus, has finally arrived!  Please send good thoughts that his jaundice resolves very soon.

Trying to Make Lemonade

Easter was lovely.  S bought me tons of tulips and some gourmet chocolates at our Farmer's Market and made a yummy fish dinner, which we accompanied with the Chardonnay from our wine tasting weekend.  We had lots of good - some deep and some fun - conversations and watched the movie, "Snow White and the Huntsman."

On the other hand, I have some bad news to report.  We just lost COBRA coverage with Kai.ser.  S was able to get on another individual Kai.ser plan, but I was rejected basically for being a woman, old, and trying to get pregnant, even though the plan didn't cover fertility.  Yes, I'm feeling some bitterness.

Ironically, an injectable IUI cycle at a local fertility center costs about the same as the monthly cost of COBRA plus the copays we had to make.  So, we will likely go ahead and do a cycle with them as soon as we are able to get things going.  I have a phone consult a week from this Friday, the earliest they had open.  So. Tired. Of. Waiting.

On the bright side, I've added Vitex to my list of supplements, and I have a sense it may be a big positive for me.  I don't know why.  It was suggested to me several years ago, but I never took it for some reason.  It tastes mildly bitter, and you have to count out 30 drops of the stuff three times every day (if you take the liquid).  So with that and the DHEA, COQ10, L-Arginine, Melatonin, etc., I'm getting as much help as a gal can get from supplements!

And this cycle (and probably next one, as well), we can try naturally.  I would like to use Femara next cycle if we can't do injectable medications yet, so am looking into getting a hold of some of that.

This week's a busy week with a Key.stone XL protest Wednesday and a Transition US open house fun-type event on Thursday.  Life keeps rolling on, and I guess I'm being distracted from the difficulties by a lot of good things.  I'm grateful for that.

Monitoring Results! What in God's name is "synching up"?

My monitoring appointment this morning was mostly good, I think.  The one thing that bothered me was that the nurse practitioner I saw for the monitoring said I responded very quickly to the medication.  Apparently, this tends to happen more with older women and isn't necessarily a good thing because of  sometimes not "synching up" or something?  Do any of you know about this?  

I'm calling in tomorrow morning to schedule a time to drop of the sp.erm and plan to have the nurses ask the doctor what this mysterious "synching up" means and whether he approves of the plan we came up with.  

Anyway, first things first, the numbers:

3 Follicles on the Right side:  15.6 mm, 17.2 mm, 15.4 mm

2 Follicles on the Left side:  12.3 mm, 9.3 mm

Endometrium thickness:  9.5 mm

She said that she didn't think the two follicles on the left side would catch up, and thus said I have three follicles.  They like to see three to five, so that's not bad.  The lining thickness is great, she said.  

When to trigger:  At first, she suggested I should trigger tomorrow tomorrow night and come in for the IUI Wednesday.  Yikes!  This is way faster than they initially indicated things would go, and I was expecting at least one or two more monitoring appointments.  That's good news in some ways, less expense for example, but puts things on the fast track and has the potential (confusing) downside mentioned above.  

At that point, I asked her if there were any downside to waiting one more day to trigger, and she said, "No."  So, I said that I didn't mind doing another day of meds, and we agreed I will trigger on Tuesday and come in for the IUI Thursday.  I'm secretly hoping that 12.3 follicle will jump on board. Is that even possible?

Apparently they don't monitor you the day of the IUI because you can't necessarily tell if someone has ovulated due to fluid accumulation.  A bit disappointing since I was looking forward to that absolute, "Yes! You ovulated and this is how many eggs!" confirmation.

Successfully completed my fifth round of injections tonight, and, as some of you said, it has definitely gotten easier!  I bled a couple drops last night and was a bit sore, but no big deal. 

I hope to hear more about this "synching up" idea tomorrow morning...

And I'm hoping those follies keep on growing, even little number 12.3.  "Go follicles, Go!!!"  :-)

Doc Consult

I talked to the doctor yesterday for a phone consultation.  I'm seeing a nurse for the injectable refresher, and to get completely clear on the protocol and cost, on Tuesday morning.

So I don't have all the information yet, but, after talking to the doc, I'm leaning toward waiting until the following cycle.  It would give the DHEA  a chance to build up a bit more and allow time to feel more comfortable with whatever "sp.erm source" I end up choosing.

He did order two tests related to clotting and immunological issues.  Yay!!!  I pushed for this, as I do not want to take the "wait and see" attitude on whether I have issues, when I am investing more physically and financially with injectables.  I may go in later today or on Monday to get these tests done.

He also suggested alternating my current thyroid dose with the one lower, in an every other day pattern.  Has anyone else taking thyroid medicine done this?  I'm a little nervous to switch things up.  He said that the level I'm at now is not a detriment to ttc, but he doesn't need it that low.  I'm currently sleeping about an hour less a night (six to seven versus seven to eight hours), which is the only noticeable impact.

In other news, I went on my second date last night.  It was good in some ways and not so good in others.  I will share more later.  I'm sky.ping with my east coast co-parent in a few minutes, so will have more to report on that, as well.  I'm having mini panic attacks about him coming out, so, yeah.

Cycling Decision

I'm feeling the pressure to decide whether I'm going to cycle with injectables for this coming cycle, starting in six or seven days.  I'm talking to the doctor tomorrow.  The reasons I want to go forward with it now include:

• I feel like I've been building up to it.  I've had my tests, have a general plan, and have been taking the supplements at least the minimum amount of time they recommend.

• I have wanted to go to this next level of injectables for a couple of years now, but have been thwarted by one reason or another.  I feel like I should do at least one cycle now, when I can.  

• I haven't been talking about this, but I may have to switch to a lesser insurance at some point.  I'm not sure when that will be and want to take advantage of the better coverage while I can.

• I'm dating and, with the one guy I went out with last weekend, I see potential.  I know if I get close to him, it will get harder to go forward and continue to try.  This may be the worst reason ever.  But I just want to push forward and get this higher level effort completed.  If I get pregnant, I will be okay with whatever happens on the dating/relationship front.  If I don't get pregnant, at least I know I made a solid try, which may take a little pressure off for a month or two if I want to see where things go.  * This goes back to my previous post.  In an ideal world, as many of you advised, I would not give up my ttc efforts.  I would continue to date and ttc in parallel.  But in reality, I just don't know whether that is possible for very long, except in very special circumstances.  At a certain point, something has to change.  I know this guy wants to have a kid or kids.  Why would he go along with this plan, considering my age and that I want only one biological child? (or, note to Universe, I would welcome twins too).  And I would want him to fulfill his dreams of fatherhood, as well.

• Co-parenting.  I've put quite a bit of time and effort into researching and meeting with potential co-parents over the last month or so  - added on to months of time investigating this altogether over the past two or three years.  Part of me wants to strike while the iron's hot on this front.  This reason may be worse than the previous one!

Okay, so the good news is that, through writing this post, I see how I'm letting fear pressure me and push me forward.  I don't want that.  I want to stay grounded, take things a step at a time.  Okay.  So, the next steps are seeing what the doctor recommends and getting more clear on protocol and expenses for an injectable cycle.  Spend time with the co-parent who is coming into town next week and see if it strengthens my desire to move forward with him.  Right now, honestly, I am distracted by the new guy I went out with last weekend.  We have another date tomorrow night...

And, finally, just stay present to how I'm feeling as things unfold.  Be true to my desire to ttc (with injectables) soon.  And pay attention to what path forward feels most right.  Trust, trust, trust the process.  Easier said than done, but I'm going to try.