This may be a disjointed post. I want to report on my dating experiences of the last few days but am not in a very focused or clear mental space. Please bear with me!
So, I had been emailing with this guy from an online site since before the holidays, but I went out of town, then he went out of town. We weren't able to get together until Saturday, when we met at an outdoor/indoor sports bar/game place - bocce ball, bowling, pinball, etc. Not necessarily my scene, but it ended up being fun and a nice day to be outside. When I initially saw him, I wasn't sure I was attracted. He is originally from New York/New Jersey and kind of looks that stereotype. He's kind of lean and lanky but I learned later that he works out and is into biking also. Anyway, he had a really nice warm smile and was immediately very "tuned in" to me, which is a nice contrast to other dates I have had. After we sat down, we had a lot of really good conversation about a big range of subjects, including work and family.
Two times I was really moved: once, when he shared about caring for a foster child - a three-year old girl - for nine months with his ex-girlfirend; and a second time when he shared about helping to get a program for the homeless started in the town where he lives. Uncharacteristically, I became really moved and teared-up when he shared these things. I shared a little about my desire to be a mother and that I am considering foster/adopt, and he responded positively. The other significant aspect of the evening was that I generally felt at ease and comfortable with him, and I laughed a lot. By the end of the evening, we were walking around hand-in-hand and kissed a few times, too, which was really nice. Chemistry and comfort - good combination, yes?
Moving on to round two, he texted me later that evening (it was an afternoon/early evening date), and asked me to dinner the following night. This seems a little soon, but I had told him I was in a conference all next weekend, so that contributed. I felt a bit uncertain, knowing my introverted self and that I had dance planned for earlier in the day, but I agreed. We met up last night, and the start of the date was really rocky. When I saw him, he looked different, and not good different. I think his clothes fit him differently, and then I realized later that his sweater must have been pooched out in a weird way because it looked like he had a pot belly. lol This is funny as I say it! Anyway, he doesn't have a pot belly but that was the effect. And also, I think because our previous date had gone so amazingly, there were expectations that we would pick right up where we left off. But for whatever reason, I was not in a place to do that.
Sooo, it was awkward, very awkward, for a while there. He kept trying to catch my eye and get connected and I wanted him to just be easy going and gradually reconnect through talking. It didn't help that we were trying to taste and order wine during this period, and the waitress kept interrupting. Anyway, finally we talked through it and realized that a lot of what was happening was that we are both introverts who were not grounded for different reasons. We both had extroverted, busy days. He fell asleep for a short while before meeting me and was a little out of it. I had spent a lot of time (too much time) getting ready and also watched some Gold.en Globes beforehand, from which I had to pull myself away to meet him.
After talking, and relaxing a bit, sipping wine, we did reconnect and had some good conversation as we had the day prior. And we held hands. And we walked around and kissed some, too. At the end, he said something about maybe getting together Wednesday, since we both have that night open, so we will see. I feel a little less "ga ga" than I did after our first day, but still feel very attracted and interested in him. He shared that he worked with Habi.tat for Humanity, and is still connected with them, which deeply moved me again. I think his heart is pretty amazing.
I guess time will tell. I haven't heard from him yet today but hope to later on.