1/28/2019

Microblog Monday - FET Update #4

We are sitting in the SF Airport, making our way through a five-hour layover. Because of my delayed start to the progesterone, we have a full day in Sacramento tomorrow with absolutely nothing planned. If only we were in Paris with the same problem. lol We did bring our computers so we are able to get some work done.

Then, we head to the clinic on Wednesday at 11am for the transfer. I’m starting to feel excited! And am feeling hopeful that the lovenox will be the necessary component for a sticky bean. Taking meds this time has a familiarity to it, like, “Oh yeah, I’m more sleepy again, that’s probably the estrogen,” and, “Oh wow, who woke up on the bitchy side of the bed this morning, must be the progesterone.” The FET meditation tracks have definitely been helpful in providing a touchstone and nurturing aspect to the process.

On another note, RC had three recent interviews, the latest on this morning, and should hear back in the next week. I’m applying for postings outside my normal career trajectory, as well, as we want to get some more money coming in ASAP. Then, we can continue to work towards our true job goals; which for me is advising/ counseling work at the U of O, as well as several career counseling clients.

Back to playing the waiting game at the airport...I’m going to try and find a book or magazine. La te da. Please send good thoughts for Wednesday morning! 💕

1/22/2019

FET Update #3 plus family disappointment

I have been just trucking along the last week-and-a-half, doing my lovenox and lupron injections in the morning, and taking estrogen in both through patches (two patches, changed every other day) and pills (two a day).

Unfortunately, we don't have a window in to my uterus, so we have been hoping and praying that the lining is building up to the level they want at this point, which is a minimum of 8mm, though I understand they are okay with 7.5. I've been doing the Circle & Bloom meditations on most days, which include visualizing the uterus filled with light or circulating at the perfect temperature with the perfect amount of oxygen and blood flow, etc.

Yesterday was the lining check, through which we are finally able to learn whether all the effort has paid off. Drumroll, please.................the ultrasound showed that my lining was at.................a little over 8mm!!! Hallelujah! And there were no issues of concern like activity in the ovaries. We were given the official go-ahead to transfer on January 29th. We had already booked our airline tickets and hotel stay on faith, so, after scheduling a pet sitter yesterday, our trip to Sacramento is planned.

After going back and forth a little, further discussing the decision about one or two embryos, we are back to a clear choice on two. With all that we are putting into this effort - time, energy, drugs into my system, money, emotional involvement - we want to give it the best chance of success. We are open to twins, and we would love to come home with either one or two babies. We are afraid of the work and overwhelm - who wouldn't be? - but we are going into it with our eyes open.

I have a lot more to share about life, family, wedding planning, etc., but time seems shorter lately, and it's moving at a rapid pace. I will share that we are figuring out wedding details, despite the fact my dad unexpectedly and sadly refused to contribute anything. He said I'm too old, and he doesn't agree with decisions I've made; that I have no real accomplishments in my life. Great Dad, thanks, you're the best. What he said about me hurt a lot more than him choosing not to contribute.

I guess all my creative accomplishments in acting (completing a conservatory and perfoming in local theater in Seattle), dance (studying and performing in jazz and modern over many years, then learning swing dance and auditioning/performing with a swing dance team), in addition to my masters degree and many years working as an academic and career counselor in high schools and community colleges don't count for anything in your book? I wouldn't expect him to understand or validate all the counseling and self-development work I've done, but I do have measurable successes.

His viewpoint seems extremely limited and clouded by judgment about several financial mistakes I made in my 20s. He did catch me off guard mention receiving creditor calls, which on reflection, I believe were related to my wallet and identity being stolen in 2012, a fact I didn't discover and work to resolve until 2015. I will follow up about this. The strange thing is that RC and I have hung out with he and his partner several times, and I felt pretty good about our relationship since I've moved back.

Where I'm at now with it is that I love my Dad and will continue to love him, but I also need to take care of myself. I'm not buying into his judgments about me, as I might have in earlier years. RC and I will figure out more simple wedding plans. I hope at some point my Dad will change and see things differently, but I'm not counting on it. Onward and upward!

1/11/2019

Drive by post - Green Light! Here we go!

We finally got the go-ahead yesterday to start estrogen and lovenox for our FET cycle. Whoopee!!! Cyst had shrunk again to 1.7cm, and I guess that was small enough.

The doctor directed us to start meds immediately, as in last night, so we jumped on the train in lightning-quick time. The lovenox shot was not too bad, but it definitely involves injecting a lot more liquid than the lupron, so I felt a little soreness as it was going in. It faded pretty quickly, though.

Our new calendar says lining check on the 21st and transfer on the 29th, so we're still in January! As a bonus, I get to start my new Circle @nd Bloom meditations for the stim part of the cycle. Just in time, as I was growing quite weary of the suppression sessions. Feeling very excited and hopeful!

1/07/2019

FET Update #2 - a speed bump

A speed bump, or more accurately, a most-unwelcome cyst. When I went for my baseline ultrasound a week and a half ago, there it was: a 3.6cm ugly ol' cyst on my left ovary.

Sooo, they gave me a choice to delay the cycle to go ahead and start on my Lupron that next Saturday. I chose the Lupron, then tested again last Thursday. The cyst had shrunk to 2.8cm, and I was initially elated, but later found out that wasn't enough for the doctor. Doing some research online, I think that under 2.5cm becomes "clinically insignificant," so I was close, but no cigar.

Thus, per doctor's orders, I am continuing to take Lupron at 10 units (hello crotchety mood) until this Thursday when I test again and, God willing, the pesky little cyst shrinks further or disappears. Everything crossed! Once that happens, I can start my estrogen and get this ball rolling. As of now, the transfer is now delayed at least until January 31st, but likely the beginning of February.

In other news... RC proposed on NYE!!! I am very excited and, since we are going for a March 9th wedding, I am immediately entering planning mode. We already know our reception venue, my family's downtown athletic club ballroom, and we think we found our ceremony venue, a Unity Church we attended yesterday and liked a lot. Waiting to hear back on availability.

Here is a picture of what, for now, I'm referring to as "my precious" because I love it so much and don't want to take it off. ❤️