Sitting in Starbuck's passing time while my new house is cleaned. That's right, my new house! My stuff was delivered a couple of days ago. S and I moved some boxes and bedroom furniture in yesterday and will move the rest in next weekend, likely with an hour of help from T@sk Rabbit or another type service.
My housemate has softened a bit, so that we are not exactly friendly but respectful and civil. It's a step in the right direction, anyway. Of course, I am counting on her moving out in a few months to a year, as she said she planned to. We will see how that unfolds... she is financially struggling and, as I well know, it is difficult to make a move from that position. Hopefully, things will pick up for her with her business and re-starting a part-time therapy practice.
Once I get my stuff settled in, I plan to contact social service folks in my new county and take the next step with paperwork and meeting with an adoption caseworker.
S and I have been continuing to communicate daily and see each other once a week. I think I mentioned he is going through a health challenge right now. He has the type of illness that many men his age have to worry about. He caught it relatively early but will need to go through a round of treatment for the next several weeks, then surgery, then another round of treatment. The doctors prognosis is that, if he completes all that, he should have a full recovery. I am praying this is so. When I first heard the extent of necessary medical intervention, I felt scared and had a moment of asking, "Am I up for this?" After all, S and I are newly reconnecting and still talking through issues and concerns. But things continue to be encouraging and grow closer between us. I love him and want to be of support.
One of the issues we started talking more in-depth about this last weekend is family and parenting. As I have mentioned, S has a lovely adult daughter and step-son and does not feel the longing I do. Plus, he is almost a decade older than me and worries whether it is responsible for him to become a father at this age. He has also not wrapped his head around the various aspects and potential challenges of adoption to the level I have at this point. But I have a sense he will "come around" should we stay together long-term. In the meanwhile, I know he will be supportive of me in my present adoption efforts.
A parallel concern is whether his fertility will be affected by treatments because, although this path is not something we are pursuing or are ready to pursue, if a door is closing, I would like to know that and discuss it together. Of course, his health is paramount and takes priority over anything regarding fertility.
So I guess we are in a complicated and multi-layered relationship right now! I am feeling pretty hopeful and upbeat today, though, for what that is worth. :)