Hanging on

The past couple of days were super stressful, but I'm feeling better and more hopeful today. The stress is related to finances. I told a friend yesterday that I feel like I'm hanging on, trying to plug up leaks in my life raft until I can get to safety.

I feel I have done everything I can do in terms of applying for jobs in my field (after losing my part-time college hours a year ago). I applied for two more recently. And I actually landed another part-time job! But it feels like it's taking FOREVER to find out if I have an assignment this semester or not. I'm trying to keep grounded and calm but when those leaks keep springing up, it's hard.

Then my battery died at work last Wednesday - I think I left my overhead light on - and, after getting help jumping it and driving it home, it was dead again the next morning. I might have left the light on again? That would be so so embarrassing. I'm not sure if I did, though. In any case, I had to get two more jumps yesterday, the second from my insurance roadside assistance. After that one, I drove the car around for a looong time to make sure I had done everything I could to charge it. The guy told me my hybrid only charges when driving 25 mph or faster. I had no clue!

I have yet to try and start it today, but I'm going to do it right before I need to leave for my SMC adopt meeting; fingers crossed. The meeting is not in any way official, just three or four of us local SMCs who plan to adopt getting together again for mutual support and learning from one another, but I really hope I can go! If not, I'm stranded at home until I can have the car towed to the shop to get a new battery installed.

I have done everything I can to apply for college jobs, but I have NOT done everything I can to find new clients. The holidays were a super busy time (I could have tried harder though), and it seems few people are receptive to marketing during that time, anyway. Also, another of my clients graduated. Sooo, less income coming in recently. Please think good thoughts for me on Monday at 1pm. I have a phone call with a potential client who actually already said yes in November but then went into rehab. and is just now available. I think it would be great to work with him and feel I can offer beneficial support in his career (and life) transition. I am also getting back into attending networking groups and setting up appointments to meet with people one-on-one who might become referral partners. Longing again for a virtual assistant to help me keep up with the ongoing marketing/outreach cycle...

A couple of updates:

Dating: Turns out the guy I was talking on the phone with is not in any way ready to date. He is underemployed, struggling financially, and I am pretty sure depressed. Put it that way, maybe I'm not ready to date either! (not depressed, though)

Adoption: My second social worker meeting went very well. She asked me the tough psychological questions about my childhood and life experiences. At the end, she said she thought I had experiences that would make me understand and be a good parent for an adopted child, and that I was very self-aware. I felt encouraged! The third meeting, which we scheduled for next Thursday, will be the last interview segment about parenting and discipline, then we will make one more appointment to do the final house review. Before then, I need to figure out my damn finances and get a crib and a couple of other items. I do feel happy about items I've checked off the list, such as the trac phone, medicine lockbox, laundry room lock with toxics inside, family book almost complete, paperwork in, etc.

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