Pregnancy Update #4

Just checking if anyone is still out there? I know something happened with google comments and blogger, so I hope that didn't mess anyone up. (hint: I would very much love you to comment 😍)

I do have some news....

So, the results of Sneak Peak came back in about 3 days. They send a Results email. I had read that once you open the email, you have to click something else to see the results, but that was not the case. RC and I leaned in together, and I slowly scrolled down the email, which said:



Now, I immediately knew that RC was experiencing disappointment, and he went into a bit of a funk for a while. For my part, I acknowledged his disappointment but was acutely aware that I felt happy and was NOT experiencing said disappointment. I sort of floated around all day, feeling happy and wanting to celebrate. I went to the children's clothing store to return the one girl outfit we bought, and found the cutest little striped onesie and a darling matching monkey sweatshirt.

Wow, finding out the gender does make it SO much more real; makes the baby so much more real. RC is working through his disappointment. I do understand, considering he's raised three boys already. But our little guy has a different gene pool and will be a unique and special person. Anyway, he knows that and is getting excited again. *As a side note, I'm beyond ready to be done with progesterone shots in the butt. The one this morning hurt really bad, and I started crying. I'm definitely more emotional still.

Later, there was a big birthday party event for my sister-in-law, and I gave my family these cigars on an individual basis to get the news out there because I knew we would want to talk about it. My little game was that I would say, "Remember when we were young, and we would get those candy cigarettes and it was so fun? Well, I thought I would get us some for tonight." Then, I would hand them a cigar and wait for them to realize what it said. Sometimes it took a minute, as my acting skills are pretty strong. lol

Everyone was happy for us, but my brother's reaction was the best. He was both surprised and super excited for me. My sister was happy, too. Right now, her son is the only boy cousin, but she has loved having a boy. We hope to announce both the pregnancy and gender on F@cebook after our second ultrasound on the 1st. I am praying it goes well!

Honeymoon Ending and Transition

We are back home now in Oregon. It's quite a transition to come back to real life post-wedding and honeymoon. Both of us feel kind of emotional, discombobulated and like hibernating.

To catch up from the last post when we had the argument... everything was fine. lol He apologized for being reactive, and we went on to have a great day at Butchart Gardens. It's an amazing landscape and design! I will recommend that, if you go, you go during the late Spring and Summer when you can experience the flowers in full bloom. One of our favorite attractions was this fantastical carousel with every wild animal you can imagine. We rode it twice and had a lot of fun making videos for the nieces and nephew back home.

On St. Patrick's Day, we took the bus to Craigdarroch Castle in the morning. They restored many of the rooms to their original state when the Dunsmuirs lived there - well, the Dunsmuirs minus the patriarch, John, who died months before it was finished! I felt like we were taking a trip back in time, and the architecture and views were very unusual and cool. Then, we went back downtown for lunch at the Bard and Banker pub, a very large and beautiful English/Scottish/Irish pub, which, on this day, even offered Irish dancers. 💚

The last couple of days there, the weather warmed up considerably, and we could walk around in shirtsleeves. Our ferry ride back to Port Angeles went smoothly, as did our drive back down to Oregon. Wonderful to see our fur children again, and they were excited to see us, too, though I think they'd been pretty spoiled by the pet sitters. So now, yes, adjusting, transitioning, trying not to worry too much about little Pudge, and counting the days to our next ultrasound on the 1st.

Last bit of news: I collected the blood sample for our gender test yesterday morning and sent it off. At one point, it looked like the scene of a massacre! I clearly am not skilled in the ways of collecting blood. But, eventually enough blood spilled from my poor fingertips into the bottom of the tube, and here's hoping I didn't contaminate it in any way. I imagine we will hear back tomorrow or the next day.

Both of us are hoping for a girl, but RC's record is all boys, and my food aversions and lack of morning sickness supposedly indicate boy, as well. I'll be over the moon, either way, but it would be nice for RC to have the experience of having a daughter, and, in some energetic ways, I feel like a girl would be easier for us introverts. Boys can be so incredibly sweet, though, and they say boys take care of their mothers. 😃 I'll let you know when we find out!

Victoria BC plus Pregnancy Update #3

We are in Victoria on our honeymoon. It's been lovely and fun, but this morning we had an argument. I can get frustrated with his lack of response and not articulating how he's feeling or what he's thinking. This leaves me feeling frustrated, confused, and I can assume (which I guess I shouldn't) that he disagrees or has a negative judgment about what I have been saying.

Last night we were talking about massage options. We were both looking forward to getting a massage yesterday afternoon and had done the research to find a place to go, but when we called, they said they were booked up until next Tuesday (we leave Monday). So last night, I was looking at an alternative place that was a bit more money, like $10 - $15 more per person, and he stated the amount that both massages would come to, as though it were prohibitive. I responded that it wasn't much more than the other place, but I also looked up less expensive massage in Oregon, which we could get as soon as we get back as sort of a compromise and mediation to the disappointment of not getting one here. But he basically went internal and ceased engaging or responding to the conversation. Argh!

So, I said I was cranky and was going to bed. This morning, I tried to talk to him about it, and I thought the conversation was going okay, but then he didn't respond to something, and I said, "Huh?!", and he said he did respond and accused me of snapping. It escalated from there and was just really stupid.

Ummm, I am pregnant, dude! I wish he could just remember that I am more sensitive right now and not at my best. I refuse to talk to him if he's going to be angry and just vent at me and criticize me. I offered to do a check-in with him (something we have done often to talk through more difficult or intense issues because it slows things down and requires you listen and reflect what your partner says), and he refused. So we are still at an impasse.

The ironic thing is that yesterday was one of our best and most fun/romantic days together. Every day has been fun, but yesterday, we took a long walk outdoors in Beacon Park, petted the goats, enjoyed the peacocks and the lovely views, then went to an English tea at a nearby Inn and Teahouse. Great and connected conversation and yummy sandwiches/scones/treats and tea. After my daily meditation and nap, we had a relaxed dinner at a nearby pub and were flirting and joking around on the way back. A fabulous day! Until the end. Ah well.

I feel sad and disappointed the day ended not so great, and we had the conflict this morning. I hope we can both calm down and re-connect soon, as we are booked on a bus trip to Butchart Gardens at 11:30am.

p.s. I'm 9 weeks pregnant today! My lower back ache/pain kicked in a couple days ago. Anyone else experience this, if you've been pregnant? I have to stop periodically and squat/stretch when we are out walking. Still having food aversions/limited food choices. Boobs have been quite sore, and I can see veins in chest now.

Despite signs, I still have worries and am definitely wanting more reassurance that Pudge is in there and moving around and growing like the pregnancy apps say he/she is. Our next ultrasound is scheduled for April 1st with Maternal/Fetal Medicine. Our Sneak Peak gender reveal blood test has arrived at our house in Oregon, so guess what will be the first thing I do when we get home? Yep, poke my finger and send that package in. It's supposed to come back within 72 hours.

Pregnancy Update #2 - First Ultrasound

We FINALLY had our first ultrasound yesterday. We got there 10-15 minutes early, which is not a common occurrence. We were just so anxious and excited. The business person went over my benefits, which are very good! Plus, I will have secondary insurance through RC, once we're married, so we may not have much in the way of medical expenses for this pregnancy. Did I say "this pregnancy"? Oops, foreshadowing...

After a few minutes, we were called back to the ultrasound room. I was holding RC's hand so tight all the way to the clinic and all the way back to our room. They were doing a belly ultrasound, so I hopped right up on the table and just undid my pants. The room had a big TV-type screen on the wall in front of us, so we had a great view. She squirted the jelly and began moving the ultrasound scope around...within just a couple seconds, I saw that beautiful, telltale bubble - and there was definitely something inside! AAAAHHH! We both were thinking, "Is there another one? Will we see a second bubble?" A millisecond of disappointment...

But she quickly honed in on our one bubble and baby, and we were overwhelmed with gratitude and happiness again as she started speaking a new, beautiful language: "There's your baby!"; "Looks great!"; "It's measuring right on track."; "There's the heartbeat; see the heartbeat?" - Yes, we did!! OMG, I was so moved and overcome with waves of relief and joy. I was exclaiming ecstatically, and sometimes nonsensically, at times, and may have shed a few tears. Wow, what an amazing experience. The heart rate was very strong at 165. We got pictures, of course, and a video of the little bub with his/her heart beating. Our little Pudge. We went out to a delicious pasta lunch to celebrate and spent the rest of the day processing this new reality, which feels ever so much more real.

More later, but now I need to get my rear out the door to run many errands to make this wedding and honeymoon happen. Two more days! So exciting knowing our little Pudge will be with us on our special day. 💗


Do you see the little old man face? I don't think that's really Pudge's face, is it? Can you see the arm?