New Community

We moved at the end of November! and are still settling in and unpacking a bit, but at least things are functional. We bought a huge new couch that dominates the living room. 😂 It’s very comfortable, though, and we are enjoying it, as well as the third bedroom and nicer, more open, floor plan. I’ve started taking walks along the river with Ellie, and becoming more familiar with our new surroundings. I only miss the old neighborhood once in a while, when I think of all the memories walking with Ellie and the beautiful homes and landscapes. It’s a different beauty along the river. 

Holidays were okay but a lot to deal with so quickly after our move. We managed to buy and decorate a little tree, and I made a few handmade painted popsicle stick picture frames with Ellie and gave them out to a few of our new neighbors with cute pics of Ellie in them. I was proud of myself for completing that project, as it had several artsy/crafty steps to it! 

Ellie in her new Wizard costume on Christmas.

Ellie on one of our rainy river walks.

Christmas Eve at my brothers house was fun, but RC had to work, so he didn’t get to come. Yummy food and unusually nice conversation with family. My sister’s house the next morning was okay until the point where all the adult women except me received jewelry from my father. It’s happened in years past, too, and feels like such and obvious, purposeful exclusion. I told RC that I’m not going to sit through that again, as it really hurts my feelings and triggers old feelings of not being good enough. If/when it happens, I’ll get up and make myself busy in another room. Living in community with lots of conscious, generally open-hearted people really creates a contrast with the culture in my family gatherings. 

We are still adjusting and building family and community routines in our new place, but it’s been great to eat community meals together a couple of times a week and have people step forward who enjoy playing with Ellie during gatherings -  and who have even provided childcare a few times while I attended a more adult check-in group. I love seeing how comfortable Ellie feels with our neighbors, and she runs around talking to people and insists on saying goodbye to everyone individually- so cute! 🥰 Definitely a big part of my vision coming true. 

I’ve had my social insecurity come up at times, but not too bad, and I’m feeling gradually more secure, especially as we have a couple deeper focused groups starting up, like the check-in group and a new Brene Brown Art Journal group. I can tell RC is starting to feel more at home, as well, and I’m excited that a men’s group will be starting soon. He used to attend one in California and got a lot out of it. Oh, and a young couple in the community just had a new baby girl! An adorable future friend and playmate for Ellie, in addition to the 5-year-old girl who is also a neighbor. 

I haven’t had much bandwidth to write, but I wanted to share an update as a lot is happening and time is rolling by. I have an interview Tuesday, which I’ll share more about later, but I have mixed feeling about it; both excited and a little worried at taking focus off my business again (at least for now) and working more hours. Our family could really benefit from a higher, and more consistent, income though, and I think I’d enjoy it. I’m thinking maybe I could still see clients on the side and come back to the business down the road, too. We will see. 

Juggling many things

This month has been pretty busy and intense for us; you, too? Let’s see, what’s been going on:

Filling the last units in our cohousing community, after making a big push to recruit and encourage families. Final decisions end of February. 

Actively involved on several community teams, including membership, community agreements, and Covid, as well as mentoring two Explorers. Here’s a picture of construction progress…

Trying to keep up with the developmental leaps of our little Ellie. She’s running, jumping, dancing, balancing, wants to help and be involved with everything. She recently started talking in whole sentences and singing entire songs, and continues to describe and identify everything. And being her strong, sensitive, emotionally expressive self, which I love but which can be quite exhausting, as you know. Let’s just say “No” is a big part of her vocabulary right now. But man, getting hugs and snuggles from her, and catching her up in an embrace when she runs to me exclaiming, Mommy!” can’t be beat. And she’s into imagination and so fun to play with. 🥰

Working out two days a week at the gym, again. Feels great, and Ellie loves going to see the childcare provider there and playing with another kid or two. We are thinking we will start her in preschool part-time when she qualifies at two-and-a-half.

I’ve been working a few hours, a couple days a week at a Coworking/flex desk space for the past few months and loving it so much. A clear head and lack of distractions feels liberating, and it’s a modern, open, well-lit space with perks like coffee and snacks. Clients and colleagues can meet with me there, and they have private/soundproof zoom rooms. I come home feeling productive and grounded, and missing Ellie, which makes for a sweet little reconnection. 

We started up with our parenting group again, it’s good to see everyone and share experiences and ideas, and just get understanding. It’s yet another meeting on Zoom, though, and I’m getting burnt out on that medium, for sure, Being in the spotlight, on-camera, for long periods like that is super draining for introverts. 

I’m going to end there for now. Hope to post more, soon, about holidays. They were good but just sort of low-key and average, probably partly because my sister and family were out of town. Time at my Dad’s on Christmas Eve was really nice, though. More exciting than Christmas was probably getting several inches of snow the day after! Ellie was sooo excited, and we went out in it a lot to explore, make snow balls, footprints, and just run around. So peaceful, too. Anyway, more later. Hang in there, everyone!

Two-years-old! Life progressions

We had Ellie’s Daniel Tiger party with family, including two cousins who adore her, and it was lots of fun. Highlights were seeing her playing and loving the ball pit (balls in a child’s pool) and doing the piñata. 

Other big news is that she’s started taking up a storm! Repeats everything we say and talks and sings to herself. She even asked a question! “Why sleeping?” about why Daddy was sleeping. Stringing a couple multiple syllable words together, using words in context, unprompted. So fun and exciting! And her little voice is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. 

Enjoying Falls arrival. Trying to enjoy the outdoors as much as possible before the Oregon rainy season hits. Our Cohousing community broke ground a few weeks ago - woo hoo! And we are on a last push (marketing and offering incentives) to find more families to take a couple of our last few units. There is only one child close to Ellie’s age right now (just turned 4), but a couple other families with young kids are exploring, fingers crossed. We switched to a downstairs flat that has a little backyard. It was a little more expensive but I couldn’t imagine not having a little private yard with Ellie. There will be lots of common outdoor space, too. 

Two other recent developments: we started working out again! I gained 10 pounds in the last year or two and feel uncomfortable so glad to get back to the athletic club. Ellie is going to the childcare at the club and doesn’t bat an eye walking in. No clinginess at all. Not sure how I feel about that! But I guess it’s a good thing. I think she was really ready to explore and experience some new places and people. She hasn’t had childcare before now. 

And one of the childcare workers there said she could babysit for us on the weekend sometimes, so RC and I might actually get some alone time on a date. We need this. I feel like our closeness comes and goes and we get frustrated and reactive with each other sometimes. We need to resolve a particular communication pattern that can come up where I want his attention/focus and he feels I’m not accepting him or want him to be something he isn’t. Argh. But overall, we are having some nice family times and working well together as parents. 

Anyway, I got off on a tangent. The other thing going on is that my career counseling business is growing! My online platforms are reaching people a little more, it seems, and I’ve gotten a few recent referrals from my business networking group. Hoping this online career class platform I’m part of starts getting clients, as well. It would be fun to both run a small group and continue working individually. 

I still think of having another baby sometimes but, mostly, I’ve settled into being a one-child family. Mom to my little Ellie. :)