Not looking good...

Sadly, it looks as if my next cycle is likely starting today, at 14dpo.  I had a bit of cramping and darkish spotting yesterday and today some more, with an increased amount of spotting (still dark).   The cramping has stopped at this point, and I felt a strong "twinge" cramp earlier today in the uterine area.

Do you think there is a chance I might be experiencing late implantation?  Did anyone else who has experienced pregnancy have spotting around the very end of their cycle?

I'm not sure what my next step will be, if this cycle is over.  I guess I will do as I was thinking and get back on track for surgery to have my large fibroid removed.  Unless I get a very strong sign that I should go forward with IVF with my own eggs, I am not going to pursue that due to my chances of success and financial limitations.

I do see possible donor eggs or embryos in my future or possibly adoption... more on these possibilities later.  If any of you that have been reading this blog for a while would like to give me some sisterly advice on what you think would be the best choice for me, I would love to hear from you now or later.  I am just beginning research and mainly know about these options through the stories of others.


  1. It is not over until AF and some women do see implantation spotting around when their period is due. I hope that is the case!

    I will give you some sisterly advice. If this cycle does not work don't spend any more time/money on IUI or medicated TTC. Go straight to DE or embryos. Even with IVF the odds of having a chromosomal normal fetus are very low and age increases the risk of pregnancy related issues as well, so don't put it off too long.

    For me personally, adoption was never an avenue I was willing to take simply because (from the limited amount I read about it) it seemed a really long complex process and extremely expensive. I could be very wrong, but that was my perception anyway. Plus I wanted to experience pregnancy, so I opted for DE. I only gave myself one shot at OE IVF and when that was a chemical, I figured I would be better off doing DE where I had a 68% chance of getting pregnant rather than throwing money at a 3-5% chance with OE.

  2. I agree with Sunflower that if this cycle doesn't work, it is probably better to go more intense with either Donor Eggs or Donor Embryos. For me a major difference was in price. While you do not get as much say with Donor Embryos, it is definitely more affordable.
    I can't say about adoption in your area, but I know that here it would have been very difficult for me as a single woman to adopt an infant.

  3. After trying to adopt for 2.5 years (prior to TTC a bio child), I will say it is pretty difficult as a single women. It would further complicate things that you are in a serious relationship, but not married...even married couples generally must be married for a certain number of years prior to being considered. Sadly, I discovered that TTC was way less expensive than trying to adopt (unless you are thinking foster adopt, but that can be difficult for different reasons too).

  4. My story is the opposite of Ali's, as she knows. After I had 8 failed IUIs with zero explanation why, I had to decide between IVF and adoption. I had even started to apply for IVF grants when one day it just hit me - I needed to adopt. I just knew in my gut it was the right answer for me.

    I only waited 6 months after my home study was approved before being matched. I adopted a healthy newborn from a neighboring state. The total cost came out to "About the same as I spent on my last used car", is what I tell people. It was just a little more than the $12,500 I'll get back as a tax credit over the next 5 years. So it was really a matter of cash flow and having access to financing.

    I started out with IUIs thinking they'd be faster and cheaper, but that wasn't the case. My advice is to "sleep on it" until you wake up one day just knowing what your next step should be.

  5. I'm sorry this route does not seem to be working out.

    I would suggest pursuing both adoption or donor embryos/eggs; a lot of research has to be done for both, and as you are doing it, the right way forward for you may get clarified.

  6. Sorry to hear this cycle is not looking good. I think Jay has excellent advice. I've always loved the sentiment that "when one door closes, another one opens, somewhere." I hope your path forward becomes clear. Hugs.

  7. I'm hoping you're wrong!

    But I agree with those who say that if this cycle is a bust, it's definitely time to move on to move on from your own eggs. I chose DE because I had DS from Finn's donor, and so was able to have siblings that were at least 50% genetically related. I think it if this were my first pregnancy, I would have seriously looked at donor embryo - it is so much less expensive.

  8. I think you have to do what feels right for you. I tried one last own egg IVF with very low odds because I needed to be sure it wasn't going to work. That last try made me understand I wasn't going to have a miracle. After that cycle ended it still took me a couple months to get okay with the idea of donor eggs.

    I always considered adoption but when I knew I was ready to get started trying to be a mother I decided to try having my own because I wanted to experience a pregnancy and it just felt like I'd have more involvment and control in the entire process. Knowing what I know now I would have insisted on more testing on my uterus and I probably would have had genetic testing on the embryos earlier. If I had known those issues were factoring into things when I started I might have done things differently.

  9. I'm terribly behind in my blog reading, so I'm sure by now you know the outcome of this cycle and my input about the spotting will be irrelevant. (For what it's worth, I had spotting near the time of my expected period when I was pregnant with Seamus, but I tend to have short LPs anyway...)

    I think everyone else has given great advice and I don't have much to add, never having gone the donor or adoption routes. If either had been an option for me, I would have seriously considered them, but there were too many financial restrictions. The only thing I would suggest is thinking seriously about how important experiencing pregnancy is to you if it comes down to a choice between IVF and adoption. But if you're able to pursue both at the same time, go for it!