Mega-Stressful Week

Happy May, Everyone!

I just got through a mega-stressful week with my counseling interview Wednesday.  I was so stressed and nervous and had to acknowledge it in the interview when my hand was shaking when I took a drink of water.  The content included normal interview-type questions, plus a role play, plus a 10-minute teaching demonstration.  I practiced the teaching demonstration a lot - it was on one of my favorite subjects, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality assessment - and think that I did quite well on that part.  I felt I rocked the questions, too... but the role play?  Not so much.  I just plain didn't understand the setup and that I was supposed to look up information and make a sample Education Plan ahead of time.  So, in the interview, I was deprived of a catalog and obviously didn't have access to a computer to look up information, which is completely unnatural and not a fair representation of my abilities.  I'm kicking myself because I know NOW what I should have done and wish I could go back.  Oh well.  I did as well as I could without knowing the specific class information.

I think regardless of what happens, it was a good idea that I applied and interviewed because: 1. They know I care about the job and have ambition; and 2. I got some good practice should I choose to apply again.  Also, through working with the counselors this semester in students services (as CTE counselors, we worked in a separate building across campus from student services), the interview process, and then today working as a team on the annual Super Saturday registration event on our campus, I feel a sense of belonging and like I am getting to know people better and feel more comfortable around them.  That makes work more fun!

The week was also stressful because it was the last week of normal class for the course I'm teaching, and I crammed almost 30 student presentations into two days.  It was intense, but also kinda fun.  Oh, and I was skating on financial fumes because so many bills came through last month.  Thank God, it was the last EOL payment!

In positive financial news, I think I mentioned I'm going to get quite a few hours this summer, and I'll also be teaching three Counseling orientation classes, which are either taught over two shorter days or one long day.  It will be nice to make more money, aided by the fact I do not have to pay my almost $400/mo healthcare payment over the summer months, as it's divided over the rest of the year when they know people are working.  Many people don't work in the summer and the campus will be more quiet.  I'm looking forward to the more mellow atmosphere.  I'm nervous to teach the orientations, which I've not taught before, but I sat in on another colleagues class which helped.  And it's only one or two days - 6 hours - so how bad could it be?  I have a PowerPoint I can fall back on if need be and I can do some fun interactive activities, as well.  Okay, thanks for listening as I talked myself into it!  :-)

After my class is over, at the end of this month over Memorial Day weekend, I'm going to drive up to Oregon again with Zoey.  As usual, I can't wait to see my nieces and nephew, who I can tell from pictures have grown a LOT.  My littlest niece has reddish/strawberry blonde hair and is such a little cutie.  And my older niece and nephew are playing sports and looked darling participating in a recent Easter egg hunt.  My mom is soldiering through her chemo appointments.  Twice now she's had to go in the hospital when her temperature spiked.  I guess on chemo it's easy to get sick and much more dangerous if you do.  She was in for at least a week this last time but is now home.  She and my dad actually went to stay at a special hotel and go wine tasting for their 40th anniversary this weekend.

I kind of miss my EOL program, but my local "pod" got together this last Monday at one of the women's house and caught up with each other, made some art/creative scenes (like visualizing what you want), and ate dinner.  It was nice.  There are more events on the horizon, including a reunion get-together on June 7th up in Sonoma and a book group that starting up.

I'm still working with my last-assigned "buddy," K, exchanging mini-coaching sessions every two weeks.  So that helps keep my feet in the water.  I'm trying to motivate to eat and drink more consciously and up the health factor another degree.  I would like to drink kombucha instead of Diet Coke, but I will say that it's a hell of a lot more expensive!  He's also supporting me in envisioning the relationship I want to have with my Dad, as well as with my birth Mom.  Even though she passed away when I was young, I love the idea of creating space to connect with her and feel gratitude for all she gave me and the special relationship we shared - I think it would be really valuable for me to be able to tap into that on a regular basis.  He is a very sweet and loving guy, and I think I am supporting him, as well, through helping him with a work transition, his relationship with his pregnant fiance, and sharing coaching/career counseling tools.

I have a f#*kload of student papers to grade before Tuesday.  Wish me luck!  I do have a nice brunch scheduled for tomorrow with a friend.  Hope you all are having a fun weekend.

Summer Cessation and Seeking Meaning

Though the weather is still sunny and warm here, I'm definitely getting the feeling that fall is fast approaching.  Students return to my college next week, bringing, thankfully, my full-time schedule with them.  People seem a bit more energized and productive, letting go of the more relaxed summer mode.

I did some great things this summer, including trips to Tahoe and DC... but - whine alert - I haven't had nearly enough "chill" summer activities, like barbeques and outdoor parties, and long hikes.  Well, I guess hikes aren't exactly "chill," but to me they're fun and summery.  We have a barbeque on the calendar for this Sunday, though - yay!  And I think I'll try to cram a few more fun and outdoorsy things in to the next couple weeks.  What special summery things have you been up to?  Are you ready for summer to end?

As mentioned, I'm returning to "full-time" at the college next week, which for us is a bit less than half time.  There is a possibility our allotted hours may increase in the future, but at this point I'm still wanting another income stream, ideally another part-time college gig or something to do with career counseling and/or teaching.  From the experiences I've had here and there, I like teaching adults.  They are very cooperative.  lol  You do need to allow more room for them to share their wisdom and relate learning to their lives, but I think that's fun.  A college self/career development course would be great or something through a career center.  Anyway, I'm beginning to put more focus on looking, as well as on my new clients....

And by the way, I have new clients!  I'm just a wee bit excited.  One woman was a referral from a friend - she's interesting and so far we really click - and then I'm also working with the daughter and son of another friend.  One other acquaintance also called this week, and I'll be talking to her tomorrow about her goals.  So I guess the marketing I've done so far, which is not much really, is paying off.  Very encouraging and motivates me to want to do more.  My housemate fixed up the back studio last year and now we are both finally using it to see clients.  I want to decorate it and make it more cozy, but at least it's got a pretty wood floor, nicely finished walls and is functional.  There is that part of me that never feels "good enough," but I'm working through that and just continuing to move forward.

On another note, it's funny how taking a month off from ttc creates a void that wants to be filled.  I have realized that ttc takes a lot of my energy and focus, and, not only that, it actually gives me a sense of meaning.  What's more meaningful than pursuing parenthood?  Not a lot, at least for me.  So when that piece is on the back burner, I'm aware that I don't have enough going on in my life to meet my needs for contribution, meaning, and creativity.  I have little burst of these needs being met, like with our activism and doing this "Cantastoria" or "Singing Story" educational presentation out at demonstrations and community events.  I use my acting skills, singing and movement, and it's a lot of fun doing it collaboratively with others in my group.  But now that we've rehearsed and got it up and running, it's just a matter of showing up and doing it here and there, every few weeks.  If I land more career counseling clients, I think that could meet some of this need... but I'd also like an ongoing project that I can really sink my teeth into.  I'm open to inspiration!

I will say that, even though we're not technically ttc'ing this month, I'm aware of my cycle timing.  I should be ovulating any day, and I think we will at least give any egg that might show up a sliver of a chance...