Wedding Prep and 7-11 Run or "Just Breathe"
My brother's wedding is in 11 days and I am NOT ready for it. The dress I ordered at the end of January has still not arrived, and when I finally got ahold of someone at the online store yesterday they informed me that it was highly unlikely it would arrive prior to my departure date next Wednesday.
Aaargh! Then why did your system let me place the order with an event date for which you could not deliver? She said she would pass on the information to a manager and they would get back to me, but I'm not holding my breath.
The good news is that since I am the only "groomswoman," I could wear something slightly different and it wouldn't make that much of an impact; and I know my brother doesn't really care because he told me so. I have already contacted local reps at Nord.strom who are researching alternative strapless black bridesmaid-type dresses. Wish me luck!
In addition, I feel as one of the sister's of the groom I should make at least one speech. . .something I want to do because I love my brother, but which also makes me nervous! I haven't thought anything through yet and need to focus on this task asap, as well as rehearsing for a (shortened) poem reading I will deliver during the ceremony.
My brother's fiance chose the poem by Sandol Stoddard Warburg, the several-stanza longer version can be found here (she cut the throwing up and broken arm part for some reason). What do you think? My brother likens it to a children's book, and I can see why. I've heard it before and actually like it, though it's longer than I would prefer. To feel comfortable, I'm thinking I should read it through at least 25 times, which averages 2+ times per day until the wedding. Message to self: "Get on it, Kristina!!!"
R's presence at the wedding will be a stabilizing and comforting thing for me. He is now coming Friday and will attend the rehearsal dinner, as well as the wedding.
He will meet my family (and distract me from potential sadness around my father). He will stand by me, sit next to me, and dance with me. He will be MY date, my partner throughout the weekend events, which will significantly enrich my experience and increase the fun. My sister's wedding sort of sucked for me in many ways due to the absence of said partner - but that is another story.
Obviously, this is my brother's special day, and my focus will be on being there for him in any way I can. I actually hope and believe that R will help me do a better job in that role.
Maybe due to the wedding or maybe due to the possibilities floating around out there of significant life change on the horizon, my anxiety level has been fairly high the last couple of days. My spontaneous trip to 7-11 and the fiery Chex Mix and Skor bar I consumed lend evidence to this fact! I am actually looking forward to going running today so expel some of that excess energy.
And I realized yesterday that I can choose to release control over how a situation or conversation unfolds and just focus on breathing and staying open. It felt good to succeed in achieving that goal.