Help!!! I need to go on a date now! No, really, like right now! I know it would be good for me and the situation I am currently navigating with sh/cm.
So wishing there were an insta-date service I could access. I just need a casual, no expectations date - maybe dinner or dancing, home at a reasonable hour, old-fashioned kiss at the door, you know?
Why am I in crisis dating mode?
Well, in light of our fast progression, I told sh/cm that I needed to take a step back from what felt like the "relationship mode" we had entered. He was surprised and a bit upset. We talked things through, reaching what I thought was some understanding, and then got together last night for dinner at his house and a cafe discussion of an e-book project on which we may be collaborating (excited about this).
So at the cafe, we are drinking wine, him a bit faster than me, and he suddenly stops and says he has thought a lot and really wants to tell me something. Dum dum dum dum dum dum DUM!
"I love you."
Aaaach! What!
And if you're thinking this means the "give it another go" with the ex is now logically and automatically off, you would be wrong.
So the night was actually lovely overall, but I questioned why now with the heartfelt expression? He did admit that he was taken off guard by my assertion that I wanted to spend less time together, and this may have influenced the timing.
The authenticity of the expression I do believe, but yes, quite frustrated and confused with the timing. Apparently what I told him about needing things to be less intense didn't land properly.
Anyway, we may see each other tonight at a meeting (if I make it. I'm currently having a glass of wine, sunning on my porch and the meeting is "optional") and have plans to attend my dance fundraiser, a speaker, and have dinner/a business talk on Sunday.
Not sure how to NOT make plans with him when I am excited about seeing him and about so many of the things we could experience together - reptile exhibits (seriously), bar-b-q, wine tasting, activist stuff, dancing classes, etc.
I'm not good at saying no to myself simply because it's the "right thing to do." So I need some external assistance. Please, if you know anyone in the Bay Area, hook me up!
p.s. He did say he is going to see his daughter next weekend, and after this time away, hopes to come to greater clarity and focus on the situation. Awesome.
Oh my. That's a very...complex...development.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew of someone I could set you up with, but I'm too far away and, hell, I can't even find someone to set myself up with!
Good luck with all of this. I'm interested in seeing how it all turns out!