Care for Each Other's Humanity

Day 3, NaBloPoMo! "If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?"

Having gone through a lot of personal growth, including a 12-step program, I don't have a lot of burning emotional issues to express at this point, and I tend to be quite honest. Some would say too honest. I remember in my 20's talking to my Dad (and step-Mom who was my Mom along with my bio Mom - my Dad and step-Mom were always together) about feeling angry and wishing he would have handled my bio Mom's death better when I was a young child. He got rid of all her things and didn't have any of her pictures around. He married my step-Mom a little over a year after my bio Mom's death, and it seemed like he wanted to pretend she never existed. In any case, he said he wasn't going to build a shrine to her, and I said I didn't want a shrine but one picture would have been nice. I eventually got a lot of pictures from my grandparents. I don't regret confronting him with my feelings about that, but if I were to do it now, with two more decades of experience, I would have more compassion and care for him, at the same time asking him questions and sharing my feelings.

In this moment when I think about who I'd like to share some brutal honesty with, it would be a few men I was with sexually (either fooling around or sex) in college and the year or two after, who either took advantage of my being intoxicated or objectified me and treated me as less than a human being. I would like them to be required to listen to myself and other women they had treated badly share their stories and how this self-centered, insensitive bordering on cruel, treatment had made us feel and affected our lives. I didn't expect to share something that heavy, but that's what came up. I know a lot of women have some experiences like I did. I wish we had a better way in our society to guide and prepare young women, and men, to become independent adults and begin having adult relationships with others.

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