Sorry for my absence. I have felt stuck around the job situation, and in a way not wanted to hold the situation up to the public light.
It seems like I've been incubating it, rolling it around in my mind, as I keep inching forward on multiple fronts.
As of now, I am scheduled to begin the job with the Career Center on Wednesday and have even gone so far as getting my fingerprints taken, TB test done, and HR paperwork signed. But I'm still not on board.
You see, I was also called for a second interview with a green jobs training/employment program in Berkeley (which would mean no commute!).
During the first interview, I loved the feeling of the organization; it was my kind of place. And I really liked the people, too. Looking at their bios, it's no wonder, as we seem to have much in common and, perhaps most importantly, similar values.
This job, too, is federally funded, but it has less than half of the caseload the other one does and seems smaller scale, more team-oriented, less bureaucratic.
I would be doing similar work with the clients, but they all would be part of the green jobs training program, which I'm thinking would be: more centralized and easily managed in terms of connecting with clients; AND an inroad into green career counseling (which is the wave of the future, don't you know).
The problem - and ironically an aspect that makes it a better fit due to caseload - is that it's half-time.
I interviewed for another part-time position, and with the two combined incomes, I could create a sustainable living. But I haven't heard back from that interview yet. And I do have more doubts about that job in terms of fit. Career exploration classes with junior high school students; can you say "scary"?
Every day, I've been scouring the job sites hoping to snag another part-time opportunity, but no luck yet.
Talking to my brother tonight, I asked him if he had been in a similar position - feeling you should do something, yet feeling strong fear - and how he handled it. He said in situations like that, he tends to "go with his gut." When he said that, I felt a "yes" inside, and I know that is what I need to do, as well.
But, then, that is scary too!