Checking in today with what's on my mind. . .
Sh/cm and I are heading in to another week of trying to conceive. I plan to start ovu testing tomorrow. Feeling like next month might be a better month but also excited to try again. Added supports this time around include starting acupuncture a couple weeks ago and taking these supplements for about a month.
It's harder with sh/cm working full-time, but we have sleepover plans every other day. He's noticeably more tired during the week now (he is also working on writing projects in the evening), so we will see how it goes!
Also, our relationship continues to progress. It feels deeper and more "real" than it has ever been (and than I have experienced in other previous relationships). We are communicating a lot about communication. About my pattern of saying things more strongly than I should in moments of emotional overwhelm, and how he withdraws and goes into his head/analysis versus heart at times in reaction to my communication.
I realized I've assumed I should be able to express things strongly in the moment and be forgiven due to my being "triggered," but that is not taking full responsibility for how what I say affects him and others. He is realizing he has some strong "shoulds" in his head and can take communication very literally, then struggle to forgive (if any of you are familiar with Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator, he is an INTP and I am an INFP, so some of this related to the way we make decisions).
The good news is that we have been able to move through stuckness so far, communicate openly, at least after a while, and regain our warmth and closeness. We are falling into old patterns less often now, as well, though we still have work to do. I feel closer and closer to him, which is encouraging to me.
Moving on to work developments. . . I started training for my new part-time job last week. Completed and turned in the LOAD of HR paperwork and will be meeting with the HR representative Monday morning to approve it and assure all the i's are dotted and t's crossed.
Received a worrisome voicemail from my boss yesterday asking me to confirm I have a "Counseling Degree." We talked about my education and qualifications, so I'm hoping this is not going to turn into an issue. I have a Masters in Psychology, Integrative Studies, which combined theatre and psychology. My coursework included all the required psychology coursework, however, AND my degree focus was teaching/facilitating career exploration workshops. Totally related to this position teaching career exploration curriculum in schools (plus all my experience working with high school youth). Wish me luck! It would be quite a disappointment if this job doesn't go forward.
Finally, I am very sad this week hearing about newly discovered medical problems with the infants of two mom bloggers I read. Please send thoughts and prayers to Claire and Shannon that their precious babies get the highest quality care and have the best possible outcomes.