Well, the Snake struck again.
I thought we were in an exploratory time together. But he did his classic blindside routine, making a unilateral decision based on his own fears and insecurities. Instead of talking to me about these fears and insecurities. he informed me that he wasn't feeling the romantic side of things enough to continue moving forward.
I'm enraged and disgusted. I trusted him and opened up to possibilities, though I had my own doubts. I thought we were in it together. There were so many ideas we discussed that will now never see the light of day. I don't feel we gave it a good chance.
But believe me when I say I will not be lingering and suffering and analyzing over many months again. He's not worth the time and energy. I will be continuing on in my own growth growth and self-awareness process. And hopefully I will meet someone who has the courage and the ability to meet me fully and honestly in an intimate relationship. Until then, I will continue my own soul's work.
My doubts around chemistry definitely came up again this week, so from that perspective, I feel hope that I will find someone with whom I feel more spark. And maybe, at some point soon, I will be in a position to pursue the family I've imagined for myself.
Today is a dark day, but I know tomorrow will be better.