4/13/2012

Oregon and Family Complications

Thank you for your condolences about my purse. I'm actually sitting in the DMV right now waiting to replace my license.

 My trip to Eugene is shaping up to be a good one. Tomorrow night I'm meeting my brother and sister out at a worker party to celebrate completed construction on a new mixed-use (commercial/residential) building downtown. I don't know if I've mentioned that my family is in the property management and development business, so there's usually some "under construction" project or other that is visited and talked about and generally woven into everyone's consciousness.

Anyway, then Saturday my brother, sister, niece and nephew are heading over to the other side of town to attend the 4-year birthday party of my cousin's daughter at a pizza parlor.  I appreciate how my brother and sister have been making the effort with this side of the family, who are technically "my" relations through my birth mother, recently attending my grandma's funeral with me, etc.

It's a bit strange because their biological mom is married to my dad and all her relations are technically "their" relations, but because we grew up together and I called their bio mom "mom," everyone acts as if we're all related for the most part.  So, in a way, it's not fair to them that I get three sets of relations and they've for the most part had two.  But, on the other hand, my "mom" (their bio mom) and I never had a close relationship so my bio mom's family has compensated with that for me.  Anyone else have this level of family complication?  Probably so.

So, all that said, we're doing the bday party Saturday, going to the coast Sunday, I'm' hanging out with my mom and niece on Monday, and trying to get a few workouts in at the athletic club too.  It's a full few days!

I'm staying with my brother and wife the first two nights, then parents the second two.  I'm a little nervous about staying at the parents because I haven't stayed there in a  year and a half, since the incident with my father that was one of the catalysts for starting this blog (he said my life had no meaning, blamed me for getting let go from my job, and was just generally disparaging, leading to a period of depression and subsequent reclaiming of "my life").  He did apologize but I've stayed with my brother since then.  So we'll see how it goes.  Maybe a test for my inner boundaries.

I need to get out the door, so I'll write more on the co-parent later but wanted to report that I'm in the "realism" phase now with the logistics and barriers to the situation.  It would be incredibly difficult with trying to conceive and involvement with the child with him so far away, and to compound the matter, he told me that he hasn't gotten much work in the last year.  He's in transition working to build a career as an inter-faith minister, as well, which I respect, but it makes the situation less doable.   Very sad about this.  I'll share more later.

Off for the big drive!  The rain let up so that's good - thunder and lightning last night was insane!

2 comments:

  1. Be careful! Have a great trip! I wish you happy, peaceful interactions with all of your family.

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  2. Have a great trip, drive safe!

    ReplyDelete