Thanks to everyone who weighed in on the discussion about the line between romance and reproduction. I definitely related to the experience many of you shared about choosing a donor based on attraction (or whether you could see having sex with him :). I do think there is something primal about creating a child and joining genetically with someone.
In my real-life co-parent considerations of the moment, it is a bit of concern to me that I don't really feel a strong primal attraction to the East Coast guy, at least not physically. I'm sure part of it is his age, as he is significantly older than me.
But I think I'm feeling a lot along the lines of what Sunflower wrote in the comments about personality, getting along well, and being pleasant looking - plus there's this very strong resonance or "on the same wavelength" factor that makes it very easy to imagine co-parenting with him successfully. Financially, he is in the middle of a career transition and not as strong in that area as I would like. But he has an impressive (to me anyway) career history and is actively moving toward future opportunities. Also, he is married and has a wonderful "homestead" living situation including land, growing his own food, chickens, etc.
All this to say, I'm moving forward to the next step with him! He is flying out here in a couple of weeks to spend a few days, mainly with me but also with friends he knows in the area. I'm nervous! I'm still not sure about the wisdom of choosing an older co-parent. I wonder if this will affect my abilities to conceive. I know it increases the risk of autism, which is worrisome, as well.
But, as you probably know if you've been reading for a while, I have a strong spiritual side, and this situation just keeps flowing forward. It "feels" the most right at this point and seems to have a life of it's own, if that makes any sense. I'm not having to work to move it forward.
Sooo, we were clear this trip is about getting to know each other better and in-depth, discussions about co-parenting details and issues. It does not indicate a decision to move forward; that decision is still up in the air. But it still feels like a big decision!