Trip Wrap-Up plus Co-Parent Update

The rest of my Oregon trip went pretty well.  I took some of your advice and told my mom what I wanted to tell her about my job, without waiting to be asked.  She started to become negative and ask questions through the lens of judgment that it's not a full-time position, but I steered the conversation back to the positive point I was trying to make about how I'm beginning to get hours on the college side or things, in addition to the middle school program.

I also got to spend time with my niece and nephew on Monday and Tuesday because she watches them individually on those days.  I made playdough characters and banana bread with niece J and played dollhouse and kicked a ball around with nephew E.  they are so dang cute!  Then, I took off for home Tuesday about noon.  It was good to get back but also a bit of a transition from spending a lot of time with family to being in my own space again.  

I had a discussion with my housemate about how I feel like he rarely initiates conversations.  It came out that he's got resentment about some money I've been slowly paying him back.  I'd like to make a big payment and pay it down.  I'm tempted to take the money I owe S and give it to my housemate (He loaned me some money last month because we weren't reminded as usual and I missed my timecard cutoff and thus received no paycheck).  

Would that be morally reprehensible?  I clearly still have anger towards him for blindsiding me again after we had spent a couple days together at the hotel during my conference.  He ended things again just a few days after that.  Total BS.  I don't care what he thinks about me, and part of me would really like to stick it to him in this way.  But spiritually and morally, perhaps not a good choice, and I'm afraid I might regret it later. 

On a happier subject, I met with another co-par.ent today for lunch.  Candidate #2 in my original co-parent post.  He is definitely short.  But has a nice voice (I don't know why that matters!) and is clearly a highly intelligent and caring person.  We had a good conversation and it was easy to talk with him.  I felt a sense of trust.  Not quite as much resonance as with the East Coast guy, but we're definitely on a similar wave length.  Our co-parent views so far are simpatico, except he had an idea that we would take several months to get to know each other.  

Um, no, that would not work for me.  I'm clear on that front.  I told him as much, and he said that wasn't what he imagined but it wasn't a deal breaker.  I suggested we could take a more intensive route to getting to know each other by talking two or three times a week and getting together once a week (we're both available Saturdays).  So, we'll see how that goes. 

Then, I'm also Sky.ping with a fourth candidate down in L.A. tonight around 9 p.m.  He is divorced and has a three-year-old son.  They both are cute.  He wants to have another child but doesn't want the pressure of rushing to find a "soulmate" to marry.  But even though he lives in the same state, it IS the longest state in the Union!  I believe I would need to move down there if I became pregnant.  

I find I'm more willing than I would have anticipated to move to where a co-parent lives.  My roots here are not deep, though I've made some nice friends and community connections through groups.  I guess it shows where my priorities lie.  I wouldn't move, though, until I was well into the pregnancy.  Why aren't there more good candidates here in the Bay Area?

Speaking of which, I'm Sky.ping again with the East Coast guy tomorrow.  Unfortunately, I have a feeling it might be our last conversation.  Resonance can only go so far in the face of impracticalities.  And to wrap up another loose end:  I never heard from or contacted Candidate #1, the Chinese professor.   I think it was clear to both of us that we did not click.  

Sooo, the process continues!  I'll let you know how my Sky.ping goes...

p.s. Some of you asked what are rat cupcakes.  Well, you have to get in my four-year-old nieces head to really understand that one!  Basically you catch rats and put them in the cupcakes, which we did lots of rolling out and pounding with our elbows and mixing and adding stuff to, etc., before sticking them in the oven to bake. :)  Don't think too literally and it works better...


  1. I'm glad you were able to control some of your conversations so that you could explain the importance of your life to your mom. I think that if I were to co-parent, I would have to live near the person. It seems like otherwise you lose the benefits of co-parenting.

  2. Glad you got to spend time with your niece and nephew, and thanks for explaining rat cupcakes - lol.

    I agree with MN that for co-parenting proximity is critical otherwise you will be burdened with the logistics.

    Its good that you held your ground with Candidate #2 about not wanting to wait too long to get to know wach other. The LA guy sounds nice too and its good that you are open to moving if it comes to that. I too am quite surprised that there are not more candidates in the Bay Area