7/14/2012

Summer Dating Diaries - Part 2

It's been a hit and miss (mostly miss) kind of week on the dating front....

The cute, single guy from my dance class turned out to be the transient, totally unavailable guy from my dance class.  :(  Also, he was actually pretty "out there," and I consider myself very open-minded!

He did come to my Interplay class, but when we hung out and went to dinner afterwards, several odd things unfolded.  After the class, which was pretty fun, we were in my car talking about where to go to eat, when this car drove up and stopped right next to my driver's side window.  It just sat there for a minute, then drove on and parked in the next block across from where his car was parked.  Then, a guy got out and started casing his car!  Shortly afterwards, a couple guys walked by close to my car and looked directly in at us.  It's a bit of a sketchy area to start with, and it just started to feel like something weird was going to happen.  So, I drove him to his car and we left.  During this whole experience, he continued to seem kind of spacey, and I oddly felt like I needed to take care of him.  I found out later that he hadn't eaten much all day, which I'm sure contributed to his spaciness.

Once we start driving, he calls to say he's out of gas.  So, we find a gas station and finally make it to the Indian restaurant nearby (which he'd specifically requested due to his dietary needs).  Whew!

At dinner, we talk a bit about our past histories, and I find out he has an 18-year-old son...and no interest in having any more kids.  Our potential has pretty much fizzled at this point, but the oddness doesn't stop...

I should mention that we did have some strong chemistry, which I think distracted me from the fact that I could tell in our first conversation that he was in transition and not really available.

Back to the end of our date... we walked over to where he'd parked in Trader Joe's and continued to talk, when he tells me that he's not feeling a good fit where he's living right now and may leave town the next day.  Just then, a concrete umbrella stand slips loose from the employee's dolly right next to us and slides into his hubcap, cracking part of it.  It could have been a lot worse if it had slid into his car, but isn't that random?

And, to top it off, as I'm leaving, he tells me that the people he's planning on traveling with to Vegas,  want him to come because he can intuitively pick the winners of horse races.  What!  He said he'd actually won a lot of money that way in the past and could consistently pick winners.  Bizarre!  At that point, I'm ready to say goodbye.

I went on date number two last night with another gentleman I'd met on Mat.ch.com.  I'm about done with the internet, I swear.  If it weren't so darn convenient!  So, you guessed it, he didn't look like his pictures.  I actually said, "Oh no," when I saw him from the balcony of the restaurant.  He was just really odd looking.  I felt sad because on paper he had a lot of interesting experiences and qualities, including a background working as a youth counselor and what sounded like a strong spiritual practice.  

Dessert and coffee were yummy, so the night wasn't a complete loss.  He kept making really corny jokes throughout the evening and doing that thing where people pause and wait or expect a response.  Kind of awkward, and I felt a bit inauthentic pretending to laugh politely.  Bottom line, the chemistry was just not there in the slightest.

As I'm telling these stories, I'm realizing that it was actually a mostly down week!  But it didn't feel as down as it sounds.  I feel good that I'm making some connections with people, even if I haven't found the right match yet.  And the experiences had their fun aspects.  I'm emphasizing the negative parts for dramatic effect. :)

Anyway, the final downer was that my brother's friend stood me up for the hike we'd agreed upon for today!  Well to clarify, he didn't call me back when I left him a message on Thursday.  We'd agreed last weekend that we would go on a hike today, and he suggested we touch base later in the week.  Thursday's later, right?  On reflection, it might be for the best, since I know myself, and I might have felt rejected.  Even though he's so much younger than me, and I totally understand why he's not interested in me romantically.  But I'm sad to not get the hike in and a little irritated that he sounded so positive about it on the phone and then bailed.

On a positive note, I actually had a great day today lying in the sun, reading, cooking, doing a couple of chores.  I'm about to head out for my evening walk.

A final thought:  I wish I could make myself be more social, so I could meet more people in-person.  I'm just not a super energetic, gregarious person.  I did talk to a friend about getting back into partner dancing.  I used to do swing dance when I lived in Seattle, and I've been missing it lately.

11 comments:

  1. That was quite the experince with the first guy. Sorry neither date turned out as you would have liked, but you got some amusement out of it which is good.
    I think you are quite social and energetic and I really like how you put yourself out there. Your Sat sounds nice and relaxing, bummer about the hike though but glad you got in a walk.

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    1. Thanks, Sunflower! Yes, amusement is a silver lining. :) It's interesting to get the feedback that I seem social and energetic. So different than what I feel but maybe I'm a bit more like that than I realize.

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  2. I'm sorry things didn't work out with any of these guys.

    Your experiences sound so much like mine. I hated internet dating, but I didn't know how else to meet people. The only social activities I was interested in and took part in had only female group members. I had even asked my family and close friends if they knew of anyone for me, but they couldn't help. So I was left with internet dating. And I'd run into the same problem as you, time and time again: the gentlemen would not match their profile pictures. Seriously, guys? Do you think we're not going to find out that you look 20 years older than your profile picture when we meet you? And do you think we're going to be impressed that 1) you're deceptive and 2) you think so little of your current appearance that you have to lie about it? Personally, I'd rather get no dates than see that look of disappointment on my date's face when they see me for the first time.

    Anyway, I'm glad you managed to have a nice day yesterday. I hope the next round of dating goes better!

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    1. Totally!! I'd rather be brutally honest than get that look of disappointment. It's best when people have multiple picture with different expressions and angles, so you can see their true appearance. I remember totally relating to your dating blog entries back when you were writing them...

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  3. Sometimes your stories make me want to try dating again (though probably not right now) but sometimes they make me chuckle and enjoy my very single status. :-) You are much braver than I am.

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  4. I love your dating stories. I've given up, so the only way I'm meeting am an is if I trip over him.

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  5. Oh no!! Sorry things have been kinda crazy! I hope some better matches are coming soon! I love hearing your stories :-)

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  6. Your last paragraph took me by surprise! You seem like your already ARE high energy and gregarious! I am totally impressed with your dating stamina and I highly admire you and your efforts. Sorry this week was on the disappointing side.

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    1. Thanks! Maybe I'm more outgoing than I think! I just feel like there's so much more I could be doing. My energy seems quite limited, especially in the evenings, I seem to need lots of down time.

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  7. Aah, dating. Last year was kinda a man blizzard for me, mostly from Eharmony and also a little from work. As a result, even the thought of going on a date makes me turn green. Dating adventures are fun to read- even if the first dude did not work out, I hope he gave you a nice buzz for atleast some time.

    Its really difficult to meet guys in real life, especially if you do not run into a large number of new people on a daily basis. So I think internet dating is statistically the best route. About internet dating, Eharmony IMO, is where the least skanky guys end up. I've met quite a few guys from there who atleast seemed decent enough human beings. Match seems a tad more skeevy, and if you get to websites like OK Cupid or J date, its fairly horrible. Hope it gets better!

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    1. Hmm, I'll have to check out Eharmony again. They didn't seem so great a few years ago when I was on there but I imagine they have more people now. Thanks for the good wishes. :)

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