This is very reasonable. I knew it was coming. But I sometimes forgot. In any case, I asked for another month, so probably have until the end of September... possibly October. It brings things into sharper relief. I have a sense that the time of me actively trying on my own may be coming to an end, barring unforeseen circumstances.
Time is not my friend. I would love to do one IVF, and if there were any frozen embryos, this would be such a blessing. I've looked at a few international IVF programs. Do you know they are about a third or less the cost of the procedure here in the U.S.? There are travel costs of course but, wow.
That would entail getting a loan, however, which I'm not sure I can or should do. Assuming, as the odds would suggest, that doesn't happen, then the doors could close. I'm feeling more ready for that.
I don't think I will choose to try donor embryo for reasons I don't want to go into right now, though I understand the beauty and gift of it for many people. Adoption may be my next path... But before then, this coming end of August/beginning of September injectable cycle may be my "hail mary," with the unlikely possibility of one more cycle immediately following.
So, yes, I guess I can see where the sadness might be coming from. Also, though, an interesting sense of calm and some acceptance.