I was in a really good mood. I had a facial today, which I never do but now can say I very highly recommend. A little work got done, I went on a walk, I had a good conversation which resolved some tension with sh/cm, I drank a glass of red wine. . . and then he called.
He called to tell me his ex had asked him for a ride to this talk he's giving tonight. A talk hosted by the group they are mutually part of and facilitated by her. A talk I had found peace with, despite the somewhat emotionally-laden circumstances, and was prepared to attend with my supportive bells on.
But then he called. And I got triggered into an upset place again, a place I did not want to go.
I just can't believe that that he blithely agreed to give her a ride considering the stress and conflict we've had around the situation recently. I even spoke with him about it earlier today, mentioned I was feeling a little vulnerable around it, and specifically asked to both have a clear plan for what we were doing afterwards and not end up doing something with just us and his ex.
We made plans to get a drink, and he said he would protect me from an uncomfortable situation afterwards. Ha! By giving her a ride there, it meant he would have to give her a ride home - putting us in the exact situation I sought to avoid!
Well, I did go to the talk, though I thought about ditching. SIF, if you're out there, I actually thought of your phrase "classy class." Even though it doesn't fit exactly in the context I'm using it, for some reason it came to mind. I thought to myself, "I'm going to attend because I'm classy class, and I don't back out on something important I've committed to because I'm upset."
In retrospect, I'm glad I went, but it was kinda hard being there. . . and I left immediately afterwards.
I'm not sure I want to see him tomorrow night. We have plans but I'm feeling pretty blech about things.
We need to get to a better place around this stuff and, as they say, "fill the well" of our relationship.
Because right now, it's pretty darn depleted.