My new neighbors are SO LOUD. Argh, I guess this is my new reality. The man speaks incessantly and is especially loud. Two thoughts at the moment… I will likely make greater use of headphones and YouTube meditation/relaxation channels while I work, and when I'm placed with an infant and they are wailing or yelling at all hours, I will not feel guilty. My previous neighbors were young and relatively quiet, and I was a little worried when I thought about the difficult adjustment to infant/toddler noise.
In other news, I went on a date Wednesday night with a guy about my age who I met online. I had a good time, even though he talked quite a lot for a professed introvert. We had dinner, then went on a pleasant walk around the local neighborhood. We did end up kissing and holding hands, which was nice. At the end, we talked about seeing each other again, but now I'm having doubts. He's fit, but not really my type physically. I'm pretty solid for a woman, and carry a few extra pounds. I prefer a guy to be bigger and bulkier than me. He's cute but I'm not sure if there's enough chemistry there, though I did feel attraction on our walk.
A definite plus is that he seems to be, not just open, but positive about the idea of adoption and being in a parental role again (he has a 22-year-old son in college). Oh, and he "vapes;" isn't that weird? Do any of you know people who do that? I guess it's healthier than smoking and doesn't have the smell, but it's still an addiction and not awesome to be around.
As far as I know, my friend from the central coast is still coming next weekend, as well. I haven't heard from him at all, which makes me wonder if he's positive he wants to come up. I think I'll give him a call in a little while.
No big Halloween plans. I may wear some sort of minor costume on the actual holiday. I need to find out when is the official trick-or-treat night around here so I can have some candy available. I do love to see kids costumes. It's strange thinking back to the last two Halloweens...The last one dressing up and watching a movie while handing out candy with my roommate, and the one before doing the same thing but with S. I'm pretty sure this year Zoey and I will be solo.
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
10/28/2017
10/23/2016
Halloween Fun and an Eventful Week
We carved pumpkins tonight, my housemate and I, while watching the new Ghostbusters movie. It was fun! I love that the movie had all female leads in an action movie and their secretary was a hot guy. My pumpkin is the goofy one and hers is the scary one. Isn't the little pumpkin in it's eye cool? I hadn't seen a pattern like that before. Yesterday evening, we had drinks on the front patio of the local Mexican restaurant and watched the Zombie Crawl. There were some creative, crazy, and disgusting costumes. Some people went all out with the special effects, including open wound make up and creepy eye contacts. One zombie tried to eat my head. lol
During the day yesterday, I went to my first of three adoption training sessions with this new agency. It's a bit crazy that this is the third full training I've been too, but yesterday had some new information on trauma that was presented in a way that I can see using in the future. It was a way of re-framing and responding to behavior. I liked the idea of re-wiring the attachment cycle so that gradually the child feels safe. I highly recommend the movie, "Removed," and the second movie, "Remember Me." I think that's what it's called. Really well done.
I have two more training sessions. I'll either do one tomorrow night or in early November (I may have a another commitment I have to attend tomorrow) and the third one on Wednesday. I received and completed the Livesc@n paperwork and just need to go get fingerprinted, hopefully later this week. After that, I have the longer interview with the social workers, and I think they do an initial check of the house at the same time and give me corrections to make.
Another big event on the agenda this week: an interview at DVC, the college near me. I landed an interview, yay! Now, I need to finish pulling together my 10 minute presentation - I'm going technical this time with a PowerPoint - and review school information and interview responses. Please send good thoughts on Thursday at 10am!
Oh, I did want to share briefly that S had his reconstruction surgery to reverse the ileostomy and it went well. He's back to work though still healing, and we had a good conversation on the phone Friday after not talking for a while. He's recently started dating his ex again - the one right before me - so he's continuing that pattern. Oh well, it's no longer my problem. I'd rather it be her than anyone else because she seemed nice and I actually thought their relationship sounded pretty good, plus there was no weirdness or overlap with her while we were together (unlike the other ex). It's weird that he keeps going back to exes, though - it occurs to me that maybe it's because he pushes people away before it's clear that the relationship is not compatible. After three tries, I'm super clear that he is not "my person" as far as long term, marriage material. And we managed to end things much better - there's hope we can be friends, but I'm not sure if we are at that place yet.
Off to get some sleep so I'm rested for my eventful week...
11/01/2015
Halloween 2015
We had fun handing out candy to the cute little - and not so little - kids in the neighborhood. *Side note - I don't quite get the point of taking a baby trick-or-treating to stranger's houses. I guess it's to show off the cute costume and thinking they might enjoy it? They can't eat the candy, right?* My favorite costume was this darling little girl, with calaca face paint somewhat similar to mine and a sparkly witch outfit with hat. It was so cute. I really think the Ninja Turtle costumes are cute on little kids, too. The older kids had some seriously creepy masks! lol Zoey adjusted after a while and didn't bark. She is so smart.
Then, S and I went out to get a drink and something to eat. We had some good talks, and he reached out and offered me care and sympathy at one point, which melted me into showing sadness and brought us closer. He realized he had unconsciously been pulling back some because he wasn't feeling well and that was how his family handled sickness. He said he would try and work against that impulse. He has two-and-a-half more weeks of treatment, then the holidays off and surgery likely at the end of January. He's tolerated treatment very well so far, but is starting to have a couple of uncomfortable side effects.
Good news on my cousin's husband: He made it through surgery well, and is awake and, though initially there was some paralysis in his left side, movement began returning. Also, he was interacting with his children. I am quite sure my cousin misspoke when she said he is having his entire frontal lobe removed. Maybe all of the tumor there. Anyway, I'm relieved that it seems he will have a much better quality of life than I initially thought.
10/30/2015
Rough Week
The day before Halloween... no big plans this year, except dressing Zoey in a taco costume (hehe), handing out some candy, and going out in our small downtown for a drink. This will likely take place with S, but honestly, we have had a bit of a rough week. We tried contacting our previous couple's counselor for support around communication in conflict, and some stuff came up about how S saw her over a year ago to deal with the anger that came up in his relationship at the time (which he shared with me and said was part of what made him work on it and realize how badly he had treated me those last couple months we were together).
That's not the issue, however. The issue is that apparently he tapped into a really vulnerable place, then abruptly ended his work with her and didn't show up for his next appointment. So, before she was willing to work with us again, she said she needed to see him individually a final time to have closure and talk about what happened to make him stop so suddenly. Initially, we both thought that was a little weird - like she wanted to work out her own feelings on his dime. But after talking to her a bit more, we both felt okay with it and an appointment was scheduled for yesterday.
Shortly after that, though, he had feelings come about something I said about a past lover. When I said it, we were both sharing in a lighthearted way, and after my share, he told me something about one of his exes, as well. So, it seemed like his jealousy pattern surfacing, which made me nervous. We talked about it but it wasn't completely resolved, then we had a difficult phone conversation where I wanted him to be more present and he was frustrated that, in his view, I was trying to script the conversation. He did have a point, but the way he spoke to me sucked. Instead of just saying what he thought, he started trying to make a case how no one he had been with before had ever acted like this and asking me if anyone I had known had done this, etc. Blech. You don't need to try and make me feel messed up to make your point. I already know I'm messed up! lol And so are you!
Anyway, I wish I/we could have had humor at that moment, but the call ended badly. He's been distant and unavailable the last couple days, now he says he's clear and wants to reconnect and talk tonight. But why should he get to call all the shots like that? Is this setting a precedent for his behavior? I am feeling the need more than ever for ground rules and accountability around communication, whatever that may look like. We were generally communicating really well until this week, so I did joke that contacting our past counselor unleashed something evil and unholy. Wish us luck.
In other news, through a lot of hard work and talking to several people in my business program, I made headway on defining the types of clients I want to work with through my career counseling business. I'm refining my wording and maybe I'll share the finished product in my next post. The idea is you want your ideal client to be crystal clear to people, so they can think of clients to refer you.
I'm still not sure when I'll be visiting Oregon, but I am missing them and especially my nieces and nephew. My sister sent an email this morning giving an update about our cousin's husband who is having brain surgery today; his second one in five years. She said he is having his entire frontal lobe removed. I'm wondering how he will function? I am sad and have been sending prayers all day for the best possible outcome. Makes you realize how precious life is, and I think that is making me want to see my family more.
That's not the issue, however. The issue is that apparently he tapped into a really vulnerable place, then abruptly ended his work with her and didn't show up for his next appointment. So, before she was willing to work with us again, she said she needed to see him individually a final time to have closure and talk about what happened to make him stop so suddenly. Initially, we both thought that was a little weird - like she wanted to work out her own feelings on his dime. But after talking to her a bit more, we both felt okay with it and an appointment was scheduled for yesterday.
Shortly after that, though, he had feelings come about something I said about a past lover. When I said it, we were both sharing in a lighthearted way, and after my share, he told me something about one of his exes, as well. So, it seemed like his jealousy pattern surfacing, which made me nervous. We talked about it but it wasn't completely resolved, then we had a difficult phone conversation where I wanted him to be more present and he was frustrated that, in his view, I was trying to script the conversation. He did have a point, but the way he spoke to me sucked. Instead of just saying what he thought, he started trying to make a case how no one he had been with before had ever acted like this and asking me if anyone I had known had done this, etc. Blech. You don't need to try and make me feel messed up to make your point. I already know I'm messed up! lol And so are you!
Anyway, I wish I/we could have had humor at that moment, but the call ended badly. He's been distant and unavailable the last couple days, now he says he's clear and wants to reconnect and talk tonight. But why should he get to call all the shots like that? Is this setting a precedent for his behavior? I am feeling the need more than ever for ground rules and accountability around communication, whatever that may look like. We were generally communicating really well until this week, so I did joke that contacting our past counselor unleashed something evil and unholy. Wish us luck.
In other news, through a lot of hard work and talking to several people in my business program, I made headway on defining the types of clients I want to work with through my career counseling business. I'm refining my wording and maybe I'll share the finished product in my next post. The idea is you want your ideal client to be crystal clear to people, so they can think of clients to refer you.
I'm still not sure when I'll be visiting Oregon, but I am missing them and especially my nieces and nephew. My sister sent an email this morning giving an update about our cousin's husband who is having brain surgery today; his second one in five years. She said he is having his entire frontal lobe removed. I'm wondering how he will function? I am sad and have been sending prayers all day for the best possible outcome. Makes you realize how precious life is, and I think that is making me want to see my family more.
11/01/2013
Halloween and Moving Forward
Thank you for your feedback and support around my and S's difficulties. I really appreciated receiving your comments. We have come back from the brink. In huge news, he has recognized and admitted that he has a lot of anger from childhood (perhaps exacerbated by issues in his marriages), and it comes out in vastly disproportionate ways in our relationship. He is working with our counselor around some acceptance and healing work, which will hopefully lead to having a healthier relationship with the anger and more skill in expressing feelings.
On my side of the aisle, I see that I was the one that opened the door to breaking up by bringing up this possibility in the heat of some of our recent arguments. In the moment, I felt completely overwhelmed and part of me DID want to get away from him, but in the big picture, it's not what I want. So, I'm instituting a self-imposed moratorium on break-up language, and am also working to be more present when conflict comes up, versus deflecting it or getting defensive. I get scared this means I'll be trampled on but am trying to remember being present doesn't mean being a doormat. Ideally, I want to be present for both myself AND for him - trying to acknowledge his experience, while not taking in the shame part.
Enough of the super heavy and deep stuff for this post. We had a fun Halloween evening! I raced home from work but still missed most of the trick-or-treaters, I think. :( I handed out candy to a few groups, including one gaggle of teens, just as we were leaving. For some reason, the teens were endearing to me, and I was glad to end the candy-giving time with them. Then, we went out for Halloween drinks and had some enjoyable conversation about the deep stuff going on with him and with us. We came back to my place afterwards and goofed around - watching TV and doing computer and household stuff in a tipsy state for a while - then had a nice sleepover.
We have a birthday party to attend tomorrow night, church Sunday morning, and hopefully continued dance lessons Sunday night. S is somewhat reticent because he has a lot of writing work on his plate, but I really want to keep up our dance progression. I think it adds to the fun and romance of our relationship, which is vital.
Quick ttc check-in... I'm starting to wean myself off of the DHEA/Metformin and am pretty much throwing in the towel on my own eggs. I'm not sure the grief around this has hit me yet, but I do feel we gave it some really good tries here at the end. Last week, I talked to someone at CA Conceptions, and that program sounds promising on the donor embryo front. Continuing to do research. In the meanwhile, I'm taking action to get my large fibroid (and likely the smaller one too) outside my uterus removed. I have a consult in two or three weeks with the same surgeon I met with previously and will hopefully get the surgery before Christmas.
I'll end with pictures of Zoey in yet another Halloween costume that didn't fit! In the second picture, you can see she has a couple white bumps on her left eyebrow. She's had them for a few days and I'm keeping an eye on them. If they don't improve soon, I'll take her in to the vet. Any idea what they might be? I'm thinking either bug bites or a reaction to a poison oak-type plant.
On my side of the aisle, I see that I was the one that opened the door to breaking up by bringing up this possibility in the heat of some of our recent arguments. In the moment, I felt completely overwhelmed and part of me DID want to get away from him, but in the big picture, it's not what I want. So, I'm instituting a self-imposed moratorium on break-up language, and am also working to be more present when conflict comes up, versus deflecting it or getting defensive. I get scared this means I'll be trampled on but am trying to remember being present doesn't mean being a doormat. Ideally, I want to be present for both myself AND for him - trying to acknowledge his experience, while not taking in the shame part.
Enough of the super heavy and deep stuff for this post. We had a fun Halloween evening! I raced home from work but still missed most of the trick-or-treaters, I think. :( I handed out candy to a few groups, including one gaggle of teens, just as we were leaving. For some reason, the teens were endearing to me, and I was glad to end the candy-giving time with them. Then, we went out for Halloween drinks and had some enjoyable conversation about the deep stuff going on with him and with us. We came back to my place afterwards and goofed around - watching TV and doing computer and household stuff in a tipsy state for a while - then had a nice sleepover.
We have a birthday party to attend tomorrow night, church Sunday morning, and hopefully continued dance lessons Sunday night. S is somewhat reticent because he has a lot of writing work on his plate, but I really want to keep up our dance progression. I think it adds to the fun and romance of our relationship, which is vital.
Quick ttc check-in... I'm starting to wean myself off of the DHEA/Metformin and am pretty much throwing in the towel on my own eggs. I'm not sure the grief around this has hit me yet, but I do feel we gave it some really good tries here at the end. Last week, I talked to someone at CA Conceptions, and that program sounds promising on the donor embryo front. Continuing to do research. In the meanwhile, I'm taking action to get my large fibroid (and likely the smaller one too) outside my uterus removed. I have a consult in two or three weeks with the same surgeon I met with previously and will hopefully get the surgery before Christmas.
I'll end with pictures of Zoey in yet another Halloween costume that didn't fit! In the second picture, you can see she has a couple white bumps on her left eyebrow. She's had them for a few days and I'm keeping an eye on them. If they don't improve soon, I'll take her in to the vet. Any idea what they might be? I'm thinking either bug bites or a reaction to a poison oak-type plant.
10/28/2011
Halloween Weekend
I'm writing this post from the couch, where I can periodically look up and through the French doors to where my candle-lit pumpkin sits grinning at me slyly from the back deck.
- Eat dinner with sh/cm's brother and his brother's wife (and his step-brother), in town for their two boys' water polo tournament (done).
- Make yummy breakfast tomorrow morning, including blueberry pancakes and eggs with kale from the garden.
- Go running and color my hair.
- Sunday morning Farmer's Market and dance/workout, followed by, later that afternoon, a movie on the Keystone XL Pipeline situation (big action in DC on November 6th!).
- Then, finally, a pumpkin carving party at a friend's house that evening.
Looks like my LH surge is barely beginning this morning, so my plans may need to incorporate a bit of "trying" in that arena, as well!
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