4/07/2012

Candidate #1

First co-parent meeting went down last night.  This was "Candidate #1," the Chinese, gay college professor/researcher.  He was attractive, smart, and kind.  But.  I didn't enjoy aspects of communicating with him, and, considering we would be communicating a lot and he will be communicating with the child as well, I wonder if that is a negative.

Basically, he doesn't respond when I'm speaking in terms of any of the non-verbals or warmth/affirmation.  And, in general, he didn't verbally acknowledge what I said either, other than to comment on his own experience.  I often felt "on the spot" and kind of insecure, like I was trying to keep his attention and work hard to get through to him.  He says he's lived in the U.S. for half his life (he's 44), yet he still had a strong accent and didn't get some of the nuanced references I made, so maybe that's part of the issue?  He did ask me a number of questions, which showed interest.

On the more positive side, he doesn't seem to be a control freak or possessive and had no problem with the child spending more time with me in their early years, unlike the co-parent I talked to a year and a half or so ago.  He's in excellent health and is interested in theatre, opera, art, literature, and tennis/swimming (he teaches/researches literature).  We left the meeting saying we would email and talk again soon.

I'm speaking to the older guy from the East coast later this afternoon and will post another update after that.

Quick question for those of you who have taken DHEA:  I've only taken it for three days and my breasts seemed to get some internal soreness right away and my bbt went up several tenths - did this happen to you?  I remember my temps went up in the luteal phase when I was on it before, but this seems really fast.

5 comments:

  1. So basically, meeting with a co-parent candidate is kinda like an awkward blind date with a bit more pressure attached? Such and interesting process, hope the next meeting goes well.

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  2. Glad the meeting went well.
    I just started DHEA about 7-8 days ago as part of my pre-natal prescription. I have not felt any unusual side effect.

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  3. You are so much braver than I. While I offered the role of co-parent or donor to a friend several years ago, I am not sure I could just "trust in the kindness of strangers." I hope you find the right co-parent for you.

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  4. You are so much braver than I. While I did offer the role of co-parent or donor to a friend several years ago, I don't think I could broaden my scope. I hope you find the right co-parent for you.

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  5. Kristina...sorry, I got confused. I did not start DHEA ten days ago, its DHA that is in my prematal and its apparntly a totally differnt thing.

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