You are not pregnant. It was a pleasure to meet you.

I basically knew I wasn't pregnant yesterday, and I just grew more confident in this knowledge when the spotting turned red this morning.  So, when I called them at 9:30, I was not surprised to hear the word, "negative."  The automated message they then emailed was pretty funny:

"You are not pregnant. It was a pleasure to meet you. Please let me know, if I can help you with anything else."


Anyway, I've scheduled a WTF phone consult appointment with the doctor for Monday.  She said that a negative Beta means the egg did not even fertilize!  Who would have known I have even more to learn about this complicated process.  For some reason, I thought HCG only went up when it started to implant.  I want to know more precisely why an egg didn't even fertilize, considering the timing was supposedly good and there were three of them available.  

Do bad quality eggs not even fertilize?  Could the sperm somehow not find the egg?  

I've never covered all the bases that I covered this time AND it not worked, so my mind has to reach further for the reasons why.  I also want to know what, if any, adjustments he will make to the protocol, assuming I do another cycle at the end of July.

I also called Kai.ser Fremont, as their success rates are higher.  It's a 10 minute farther drive... but I've heard great things about Dr. She.n, and the prices are the same, so why not?  She wasn't available for the initial consultation until August 15th, so I may do another cycle with Kai.ser SF first; I'm not sure yet.

Thank you all so much for your kindness and supportive words.  It really does help to not go through this roller coaster alone.  Love and appreciation to you all.


  1. I'm so sorry Kristina, I know it's a disappointment. I hope that you get good info at the WTF meeting, and that things align for you to end up at the right place for your next cycle. Hugs.

  2. I'm really sorry, Kristina. :( It's devastating to have a negative outcome when everything else seems to have gone so well.

    I hope your doctor can give you some answers and a new plan moving forward.


  3. AHhh, I'm so sorry:( This blows. Complicating the issue, I don;t think it means that the egg did not even fertilize. I think HCG is produced from early on after fertilization, but the levels are too low and sensitivity to detect it only comes about after implantation.

    If you read the book 'Coming to Term',my vague memory is the author brings up a statistic- I *think* they did studies on HCG levels of all women from the time of ovulation, based on this, they came up with the notion that 70-80% of ALL pregnancies fail, if you take a pregnancy as the point of fertilization.

    Its so very hard to know the way forward.

  4. I am so very sorry, Kristina. I know how much hope we put into these cycles so it is never easy. I am sending you lots of good wishes

    To answer your questions:
    1. Do bad quality eggs not even fertilize? >>>They may not fertilize at all, or may start to and fail if there are issues with the egg.
    2. Could the sperm somehow not find the egg? >>>Sadly, yes, it could miss it entirely. I did an IUI with injectables and two eggs and also got a negative :-(

    Hopefully you will get more information at the WFT appt. Again I am so sorry.

  5. Chiming in, I think, unless the sperm are poor grade swimmers (less than 2 maybe) or the timing of the IUI is wrong, the sperm and egg will make physical contact. But there could be other, rarer issues: antibodies to the egg and/or sperm, issues with certain surface proteins involved in sperm penetration and fertilization etc. The only way to remove all of these from the equation is IVF, maybe with ICSI.

    Case in point: A woman using my donor (who has had sucess in getting others pregnant with IUIs) had 6 failed IUIs(some medicated, others non-medicated)-- she was in her late 30s, but her numbers looked pretty ok. First IVF (they did ICSI), went beautifully, she transferred 1 embryo, and ended up with a healthy boy.

    1. Thank you, Jay, I love your detailed information. I want a fertility benefactor! It sucks knowing there are technologies out there that could likely get me pregnant but seem inaccessible at the moment financially... It will be interesting to see what Dr. Sh.en recommends. I hope someone cancels, and I can get in to see her before mid-August.

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  7. I'm sorry! It is so frustrating when we just do not know why.

  8. Sorry to hear your news. And I wish you well, making decisions about moving forward!

  9. I'm sorry :( What a nice "personal" message. They should really change that.

  10. I am so sorry!

    To add an answer to your question:

    Could the sperm somehow not find the egg?

    It may find the egg but as women age the "shell" of the egg becomes tougher making it harder for the sperm to penetrate it and therefore not resulting in fertilization.

    As Jay stated IVF with ICSI bypasses this problem.

    Even IVF, placing a fertilized egg right into your embryo doesn't necessarily mean it will implant. So it really is a crap shoot.

    But with keeping with IUI it could be a matter of that one good egg being present at the time.

  11. -adjustment-

    "placing a fertilized egg right into your uterus"

  12. I'm so so sorry, Kristina. I hope you're able to make a game plan & especially that you're able to get in earlier with Dr. She.n. ((big hug))

  13. Oh noooo!! I'm so sorry :-( Sometimes there could be something more they can do to make it work. Maybe they could bump up your meds a little. Sometimes it's bad luck :-( I hope they provide you with some answers and an awesome game plan!! Hugs!

  14. I'm so sorry to hear that it did not catch. What a messed up phone message. Obviously these people have no idea about the emotions involved! I hope that the doc can give you more information on what's going on! Good luck