Donor Decision

I've been meaning to write a post about my donor plan, so.... here it is!

As you know, I was fervently hoping that the perfect co-parent situation would manifest for me, but no such luck.  I learned a lot in this most-recent exploration process!  Attraction does matter!  At least for me.   And it was eye opening to realize that many of us SMCs do choose our donors based on whether we would be attracted to them or date them (or have sex with them to be more explicit :) in real life.

The co-parent from L.A. to whom I WAS attracted physically ended up being a dud in other important areas like communication.  Case in point. we were supposed to meet when he came into town over Memorial Day.  I asked a couple of times for a time frame of when he wanted to meet up on Monday, which is when he said he would be available.  He never got back to me.  And he seemed generally evasive that week.  Then, on Monday, just before we were supposed to meet, I get a text saying traffic was bad and he won't have enough time to get together.  Grrrr

I kind of had a feeling it was going to happen, but still, it was frustrating.  I wouldn't want to be in a co-parent situation with someone who communicates like that.  Clearly, he was having doubts but, rather than say that or just cancel our plans ahead of time, he did what he did.

Anyway, if I had more time, I could continue the process: research another round of co-parents, contact them and start communicating, get down the the serious stuff, meet up a few times, etc.  But realistically, this does take at least a couple or months, ideally several.  So, I've let go of that option for this immediate round of trying.

What am I doing instead?  Donor insemination.  I've been down that road before, so I knew where I wanted to go and moved through the decision process very quickly.  The bank I chose, TSBC, has less choices than some of the other ones but has a lot of positives, including a nearby location that will allow me to pick up the sample myself.

The donor I selected is ID-release, and I felt a definite connection with him through his profile.  He has a large build, freckles, and is very creative. His baby picture looked a little bit like my nephew and was so cute to me.

This cycle continues to progress, and I have my first monitoring appointment tomorrow.  I hope I have several good follicles going.  I think I already said this, but I'm so grateful to have the monitoring as I go along to see how things are progressing, as well as the HCG trigger shot to assure the IUI is timed properly.  I've never had either of those things before, and it just felt like a stab in the dark.  I'll write a post after my appointment tomorrow.  Fingers crossed!


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you! I feel like we're cycling together, but you're ahead of me. :) Wishing you lots of luck, as well!

  2. Best of luck to you! I pray this cycle is a success :-)

  3. Hope your follicles cooperate tomorrow, good luck!!!

  4. I'm sorry the co-parenting situation didn't work out :-( What a bummer about that guy! Wishing you lots of luck with the donor insem!! Sounds like a great match :-D

    1. Thank you, Lisa! It does feel like a good match for me. :-)

  5. very exciting!! good luck!

  6. Thanks for your good luck wishes, everyone! I appreciate it! :-)

  7. Keeping my fingers crossed!