Purple Rain

Dramatic scene calls for a dramatic song.

I went out on what I thought was a fun, romantic *second date with sound healing/chocolate man.  We met at his house after my Interplay theatre group, then walked to a local sushi restaurant. . .
*Only second date, though we knew each other briefly before from a grassroots community group and have been talking on the phone, then emailing during his trip.

Where he proceeded to tell me:

First, that he had thought about what I said about wanting a child and that he had already done that and was not interested in doing it again but admired and respected my desire to do so blah blah blah; and

Second, that in the course of his two-week trip to England (during which I was 'wishing I were there' and missing him if you recall, grrr), he had spent time with his ex-wife and they had decided to give it another go.  Apparently, she is coming out here for a couple of months in November.

Yes, it does seem odd now that I think about it that this is not for another six months.

Needless to say, I felt taken off guard, then angry and sad, all of which I expressed.  And to his credit he heard.  We do seem to have great communication.  sigh.

When I asked why he didn't give me a clue this was happening during the trip, and in fact gave signs then and all the way up to dinner that things were moving forward with us, he said that the reality of the situation hadn't hit him emotionally and also he wanted to talk to me about it in person.  Hmm.

I told him I would  have much preferred to know and then discuss it further in person, rather than go along for two weeks thinking everything was fine.  He did say he was sorry.

Then oddly we proceeded to have a generally enjoyable night, continuing to talk about things and also express our feelings for each other, which seem mutually bigger than they should be considering the short time we've spent together.

I should mention that in the course of the conversation I suggested the kid thing might be an excuse or way to feel better about the other thing (he said he really wanted a family in his 40's then felt he was too old now he's 50), and he said he did think we likely could have come to an agreement on that.

And we laughed a lot throughout the evening.  I really like his sense of humor.  sigh.

When we parted ways at my car, we hugged and then he kissed me.  I kissed him back, which maybe wasn't a good idea.  He told me he was having regrets.

In the light of day, my response to that is, "Well that's lovely, call me when your regrets have turned into clear actions showing you are available and want to date me, K?"

So, yeah, I'm in a Purple Rain kinda mood. . . mainly just disappointed.


  1. What a let down. I would feel a little annoyed that he didn't give a head's up too. How disappointing, especially when it looks like you get along so well.

  2. Hoo-boy. He sounds a tad bit confused about what he wants out of life. I think he could have handled this much better than he did. I'm sorry things have taken this unexpected and disappointing turn. He sounded so promising at the beginning.


  3. Agh, I just hate that kind of complicated weirdness. I am so sorry. If I was there I'd bring over a bottle of wine and some chocolate and we'd give it a good talk-through.

    And just to bolster your point about the kid thing, my husband is 60 and little M is his first kid. He is way more into it than he ever realized he would be and has even made comments about how it is unfortunate that he didn't have on sooner in his life. For men the age thing really isn't a good excuse, IMHO.

  4. Thanks for the supportive comments. yes *sigh* indeed.

    inB - The wine/chocolate thought is lovely, thank you! Wish you were here. :) It's good to hear about your husband too, I totally agree about men/age. He had really wanted the exact same things I wanted a few years ago and from what I can tell, only changed his mind because of age/thinking he was too old. Very limiting viewpoint IMHO!

  5. He does sound confused! I love "Well that's lovely, call me when your regrets have turned into clear actions showing you are available and want to date me, K?" ....Absolutely the very best thing you could have said. (her via Nablopomo)